Ok which one of you assholes sent me this shit?

[notinmybackyard]

I've gotten some seriously fucked up messages and this one is in the top 5. At the very least they should have included a photo.

Hi, call me Elvira, I’ll be 25 in a few months, and I’m a SAHM/housewife/homemaker who disagrees with feminism and liberalism and loves traditional marriage and pretty much everything traditional, whom also, although I’m sure most people here are Christians and monogamous, happen to be a witch of the Satanic/eclectic variety who also believes somewhat in Catholicism/Cathbol due to having a husband who was raised Catholic and descends from Catholic monarchs and I’m also a Catholic monarchist, and also happen to be in a poly triad with 2 men (they are not homosexual, only with me, in fact they are cousins who grew up essentially as siblings both raised together by their single mothers whom are sisters and moved in together after both of their husbands passed away), my husband and my live-in boyfriend/non-legal husband.

My husband and I are both on disability, myself for autism and mental health reasons, and him for mental and physical disabilities, and I take care of him, raise our 6 children between us (more on them later) and do the housework, and my boyfriend is my husband’s in-home care aide and also takes care of others at their homes as well. This leaves my boyfriend at work when not at home and myself, my husband, and our 6 children whom we homeschool home together a good bit of the time.

We believe in traditional marriage values, they both do traditional husband stuff even as 2 men and with one working and one not and the other taking care of one, and I’m absolutely obsessed with vintage housewifery and historical noblewomen, whom were pretty much the closest thing to homemakers in most olden day societies. This is because both of my S/Os, whom are cousins, descend from royalty and their family is old money but impoverished and moved to the US.

We have all been together for 7 years and my husband and I have been legally married for a year and we all moved in together into a 3 bedroom apartment along with our children a year ago, before that we all lived with my parents.

Anyhow, my children: I have 4 very young sons by my husband and boyfriend, 2 by each. My husband and I have a son who will turn 5 next month and a baby who will be 3 months old next month.

My boyfriend and I have a 6-year-old whom was born when I was only 18 a year after we all got together and a toddler who will be 19 months next month. My husband and I also legally adopted my husband and boyfriend’s 2 preteen/teenage nephews whom are 14 and 12 and are brothers and the biological children of my husband’s half sister he wasn’t raised with whom was a single mother and was unfortunately killed in a car crash this April which led to us adopting them as my husband and boyfriend are her closest living relatives and I used to babysit them both when they were 8 and 6 when I was pregnant with and gave birth to my oldest son and they always got along with us and our little ones.

I’ve also just found out I’m 2 months pregnant with yet another little baby by my husband conceived only a month after my last baby was born. So soon we will have 7 children.

I’m hoping this one is also a boy because I’ve always wanted sons as have my husband and boyfriend and I find them easier than girls and I’m admittedly a little tomboyish although try to be traditionally feminine and 7 sons would be lucky.

Anyhow, that’s all I have to say about myself. I’m a pretty basic housewife despite being poly and a witch

[SpicyM]

I am still trying to get the millions I won in all those email lotteries.

[notinmybackyard]

Originally Posted by SpicyM

I am still trying to get the millions I won in all those email lotteries.

A gentleman in Nigeria needed my help recovering $20 million USD. I'm really glad I responded to him because now I can finally buy that private jet.