To all the fucking employees... - GoFuckYourself.com

Elli · 03-05-2004, 12:02 AM

I thought this was funny

TO: All Employees
FROM: Human Resources
SUBJECT: Foul Language
DATE: April 13, 2001

It has been brought to management's attention that individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner, without risk the of offending our more sensitive employees.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way

TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.

TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned.
INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a shit.

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell cares?

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

TRY SAYING: I see.
INSTEAD OF: Blow me.

TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF: Another fucking meeting!

TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem.
INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a shit.

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

Thank You,
Human Resources

XxXotic · 03-05-2004, 12:03 AM

I'm certain that isn't feasible

tbabe · 03-05-2004, 12:05 AM

Thats interesting.

rip raster · 03-05-2004, 12:07 AM

What the fuck?
Oh I mean, that's interesting

armyofme · 03-05-2004, 12:08 AM

Elli · 03-05-2004, 12:08 AM

I think it makes a great translator for GFY, actually. It would make interpreting those big drama threads so much easier

X-Wing · 03-05-2004, 12:18 AM

Nice

Ozzymosis1 · 03-05-2004, 12:21 AM

Thats great.

I realy needed a good laugh.

schiz · 03-05-2004, 12:23 AM

Saw it awhile ago.

Shoehorn! · 03-05-2004, 12:23 AM

TurboAngel · 03-05-2004, 12:24 AM

Nice one!

LMFAO!

Melvin the Dude · 03-05-2004, 12:27 AM

kowntafit · 03-05-2004, 12:31 AM

Perhaps you should check with...

Nice post dude.

Elli · 03-05-2004, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Melvin the Dude

Tell someone who gives a shit.

I mean..

No, wait. That *is* what I mean.

webgurl · 03-05-2004, 02:20 AM

hey babe , that was pretty funny/interesting combo

$5 submissions · 03-05-2004, 02:23 AM

Hell, Bump.

03-05-2004, 12:02 AM	#1
Elli Reach for those stars! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 17,991	To all the fucking employees... I thought this was funny TO: All Employees FROM: Human Resources SUBJECT: Foul Language DATE: April 13, 2001 It has been brought to management's attention that individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner, without risk the of offending our more sensitive employees. TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this? TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. INSTEAD OF: No fucking way TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me! TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with... INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit. TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned. INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a shit. TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem. TRY SAYING: That's interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the fuck? TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented. INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work. TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that. INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner? TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem? INSTEAD OF: Who the hell cares? TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues. INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass. TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir? INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die. TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it? INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass. TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary. TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand. INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass. TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. INSTEAD OF: This job sucks. TRY SAYING: I see. INSTEAD OF: Blow me. TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it. INSTEAD OF: Another fucking meeting! TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem. INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a shit. TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive. INSTEAD OF: He's a prick. TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch. TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing. Thank You, Human Resources __________________ email: [email protected]

03-05-2004, 12:03 AM	#2
XxXotic Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Da Swamps Posts: 8,500	I'm certain that isn't feasible __________________ Sponsors.. Tired of people not using your shitty RSS Feeds? Let Us Help You! Oxeo - Serious Hosting For Serious Webmasters. iCQ:135.887013

03-05-2004, 12:05 AM	#3
tbabe Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,494	Thats interesting. __________________ Still one of the best programs on the net. According to their banner, you can get rich.

03-05-2004, 12:08 AM	#5
armyofme Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: IL Posts: 158	__________________ never trust a bald barber, he has no respect for your hair.

03-05-2004, 12:08 AM	#6
Elli Reach for those stars! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 17,991	I think it makes a great translator for GFY, actually. It would make interpreting those big drama threads so much easier __________________ email: [email protected]

03-05-2004, 12:07 AM	#4
rip raster Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Location: Everville Posts: 2,851	What the fuck? Oh I mean, that's interesting

03-05-2004, 12:18 AM	#7
X-Wing Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 768	Nice

03-05-2004, 12:21 AM	#8
Ozzymosis1 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: United States Occupation: Traffic Broker Company: Fast Adult Traffic URL: FastAdultTraffic.com ICQ: 233907523 Posts: 2,094	Thats great. I realy needed a good laugh. __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

03-05-2004, 12:23 AM	#9
schiz Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Middle of a cornfield Posts: 1,103	Saw it awhile ago.

03-05-2004, 12:23 AM	#10
Shoehorn! Die With Your Boots On Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Hawaii Posts: 22,872	__________________

03-05-2004, 12:24 AM	#11
TurboAngel H.B.I.C. Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: NC Posts: 30,122	Nice one! LMFAO!

03-05-2004, 12:27 AM	#12
Melvin the Dude Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 844

03-05-2004, 12:31 AM	#13
kowntafit Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Australia Posts: 4,667	Perhaps you should check with... Nice post dude. __________________ This is where my next million is coming from!

03-05-2004, 02:20 AM	#15
webgurl Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Clouds with Carebears Posts: 7,954	hey babe , that was pretty funny/interesting combo

03-05-2004, 02:23 AM	#16
$5 submissions I help you SUCCEED Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Pearl of the Orient Seas Posts: 32,195	Hell, Bump. __________________ Need a NON-ADULT income stream? We build your YOUTUBE CHANNEL for only $20 per video! For Hire: $3/hour or $400 per month Marketing Specialist Virtual Assistants