Confucius Say
Prisoners complain behind bars, husbands complain in them.

Its a new day

I thought you all would have got thi to 3500 by the time I got up.

Oh well lets get it finished.
It shouldn't take long

Confucius Say
The difference between a dog and a fox is about five drinks.

hi there born4porn

Doctor Nick say:

hi everybody

and everybody say:

hi doctor nick!

I love The Simpsons

Hi pf :321GFY

Confucius Say
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

Confucius Say
Vitamins are good for what ails you. Viagra is good for what fails you.

Confucius Say
A clean tie will attract the soup of the day.

Confucius Say
A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.

hi there colone!

how Canada got its name:

When J. MacDonald and Friends were trying to figure out the name of this greatplace, someone had a great idea.
Let's stick all the letters into a hat and draw 3 of them - That will be the new name of this place..
So they did so..
1st letter is pulled and the guy shouts - "C" eh!?
2nd letter is pulled and the guy shouts - "N" eh!?
3rd letter is pulled and the guy shouts - "D" eh!?

So how are you?

Signs -- Lost in the Translation

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Homer: Stop being such babies. You can't be afraid to try new things. For instance, tonight I'm using a... Apu, what do you call this thing again?

so who won?

In a Belgrade elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

born4porn using bot?

Apu: (near the top of a mountain) There she is: the world's first convenience store!
Homer: This isn't very convenient.
Apu: Must you dump on everything we do?

Master: You may ask me three questions.
Apu: That's great, because all I need is one.
Homer: (interrupting) Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
Master: Yes.
Homer: Really?
Master: Yes.
Homer: You?
Master: Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you.

Homer: Apu, if it'll make you feel any better, I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

Apu: Oh, the searing kiss of hot lead, how I've missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 & 11 am daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid

Confucius Says:

Man who stand on toilet high on pot.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox Monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On a menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Confucius Says:

Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

In a Tokyo hotel:
Please take advantage of the chambermaids.

In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience we recommend courteous, efficient self-service

confucious say a lot of things...

In a Hong Kong dress shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

People who make Confucius joke speak bad English.

From the Soviet weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of the Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

I am fine and you?

how many posts we got now?

In a Vienna hotel:
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the porter.

In Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men & women, live together in one tent unless they are married for that purpose.

Doing ok

I heard you won some cash at the pond, good stuff :thumbsup

pornpf69, im good thankyou, how are you

In the window of a Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for the ladies from their own skin.

On a box of a clockwork toy in Hong Kong:
Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life

Detour sign in Kyushu, Japan:
Stop---Drive sideways.

Swiss mountain inn:
Special today--no ice cream.

Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions

Good morning GFY - how's this thread going?

coolone, looking forward to your jokes & thoughts :)

its 12:57 on the rocket clock

we are at post 2892, so there is 608 post left until the 3500 post prize

Working hard to get it to the next prize :)

good morning TopBucks, this thread is going fine i guess, but i will be in bed and miss out on the next cash prize i think

:(

Thanks
I have lots left to post to help get this thread to 5000.

1:01am now

More Signs -- Lost in the Translation


Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

A notice in a Japanese hotel (ca. 1950):
Please not to steal towels. If you are not person to do such, please not to read notice.

Office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find that they are best in the long run.

Japanese instructions on an air conditioner:
Cooles & Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

Car rental brochure in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking. Here speeching American.

A sign on the lion cage at a zoo in the Czech Republic:
No smoothen the lion

A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire:
If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.

In a Japanese restaurant (ca. 1950):
We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone

good nite everyone