My Vagina is Irritated - GoFuckYourself.com

gornyhuy · 08-30-2004, 12:22 PM

http://www.amsterdambabe.com/pivot/entry.php?id=76

My vagina is beginning to irritate me
I know I shouldn't laugh, but dammit it's funny

"VAGINITIS" QUERIES IN THE FEMINA MAGAZINE ...

These letters came in response to an advert in a South African woman's magazine called Femina. All of the extracts are from people whose first (or second) language is NOT English and who live a very rural existence.

Back in 1985, SA Femina Magazine ran an advertisement for Nelex, a medicine for the treatment of a vaginal infection known as Vaginitis. The ad prompted hundreds of l etters from sufferers countrywide, most of them from women who were clearly unsure as to what exactly was wrong with them. The letters were collected by the advertising agency that created the Femina ad who swear that every single one of them is genuine.

Herewith extracts from some of the most hilarious:

1. My interesting language is English, so you better send me an English copy of your vaginitis.

2. Please send me the following symptoms: itching, discharge, unpleasant smell. I am one of those with a virg inal problem. I will be very grateful if my disease were acceptable.

3. Dear sirs, greetings as patient to you, but I have not got enough time to express my sickness over this paper. I wan t to come by myself to confess my sickness to you after I use this Nelex. The trouble is my vaginitis and that I'm so ugly.

4. How can I get va ginal infection? Most chemists cannot help.

5. Is vaginitis normal, or does it occur by mistakes like having sex? My husband is not happy with the behaviour of my vagina at bedtime.

6. Please send me more information about these vaginal erections. My symptoms are some of the ones you didn't mention, so please send me another medicine. Every boyfriend left me and made another girl pregnant, so maybe you can help me. With modern life of anonymous infection, I have found your vaginal infection very handy and unavoidable. I tried Dettol, Omo (a washing powder) and also pure brandy. All in vain. My problem is itching, burning pain after intercourse when the weather is cold or foggy.

7. I am a young lady of 1963. Will you please send me more news about my virginia pains du ring intercourse, even when I'm not having intercourse at. I use to have sex eight to ten times a day. Now I am very dry. I went to the hospital and they told me I have too much sex.
Maybe I should move to Durban for the humidity.

8. I am a girl of 21 years of edge. Can you help me with Virginial infractions? Last night the virginial infections suddenly attacked me.
What do you want me to do?

9. Please send me Nelex. I am so sick I will even pay for it. My virginia is wide open, but I only slept with my husband alone, but he says I am a bitch. I slept with many men. Can you close my virginia for me?

10. I really want a baby, but I don't want to be pregnant. The first time noticed vaginal infection was in your advert. My vargin is beginning to irritate me. I scream at it sometimes but it doesn't help.
Sometimes my anus produces an unpleasant smell. Please send my letter back so I can remember what I have written.

11. Please advertise more so that I can remember that I have an infection. I stopped having sexual intercourse with my husband, but he hasn't stopped with me. My problem is I feel itching even when my husband romances me with his erection. I have never told anyone about my symptoms, now I see them publicly advertised.

12. I am 42 years old, but the infections started when I was much older and please reply as soon as it is convenient for me. I have pain during sex and also during intercourse. My virgin is badly leaking. Does Nelex work like a cork?

13. When I was 13 I spray my vagina with Airoma room freshener, now I am 18 and I need your help. Please send any good and large information to my suffering vagina.

14. According to symptoms advertised, I have discovered four of them in my promised one. She urges me so help me to help her. My new address is (address supplied) but please send your reply to my old address.Can I get vaginal infection without prescription?

15. Nelex the effective treatment, is it also effective in Zimbabwe.
My husband does not know where I live, so we never have sex. I have never had sex, but I have this virginity problem. The bath water must have infected me, although I swear nobody bathed after me in the same water.

16. I have re-organised my virginia recently. It is easy to know when I have vaginitis, but how do I know when I do not have vaginitis?

17. How are you at that side or Randburg? I hail to you with my wife's vaginal infection from Zimbabwe but I know that some people order the thing without knowing them of seeing in other words they order them for nothing without using them.

18. I am 20 years old and will be 21 sooner than expected. I cannot tell my mother about it: she has no vagina. The last time I looked for my vaginitis I could not find it anywhere.

19. My vagina was discharged recently.

20. My vagina is deceased.

21. I am a doll of 19 and I want to introduce my itchy vagina to you. I hope you are in a favourable condition for my vaginitis. I have this virginity disease. I hope my letter arrives at tea time so you can study it better. I don't know if the smell really comes from my vagina. My nose cannot reach it properly. But I promise, my body also has some healthy parts.

22. How are you sir? I am very wel l, but I am also a very sick girl.
Thank you for telling us how to avoid burning and itching virgins.

23. I live very far away, and therefore wander if my letter will reach you. I am not an ignorant girl, but how can I be sure? Please rescue my vaginal cavity from attack, sir, and send me this infection quickly.
This Nelex it can help me. I will call my first son Nelex. Also my eyes and kids are itchy. I better stop looking at them. I air my vagina three times a day, much to my husband's regret. At today's price of water, I'd rather use Nelex. I have five of the four symptoms you mentioned

No comments yet:

bluff · 08-30-2004, 12:25 PM

Floridiot · 08-30-2004, 12:29 PM

thats so fucked up

TheWildcard · 08-30-2004, 12:31 PM

zdwebber · 08-30-2004, 12:31 PM

10. I really want a baby, but I don't want to be pregnant. The first time noticed vaginal infection was in your advert. My vargin is beginning to irritate me. I scream at it sometimes but it doesn't help.
Sometimes my anus produces an unpleasant smell. Please send my letter back so I can remember what I have written.

wow....

gornyhuy · 08-30-2004, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bluff
ahem

Yes?

....

Whats that smell?

dropped9 · 08-30-2004, 01:10 PM

those cant be real........

TweetyBird · 08-30-2004, 01:16 PM

haha

Doctor Dre · 08-30-2004, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by zdwebber
10. I really want a baby, but I don't want to be pregnant. The first time noticed vaginal infection was in your advert. My vargin is beginning to irritate me. I scream at it sometimes but it doesn't help.
Sometimes my anus produces an unpleasant smell. Please send my letter back so I can remember what I have written.

wow....

hrmm and she gave the magasine her adress and shit ? rofl

GatorB · 08-30-2004, 01:51 PM

20. My vagina is deceased.

Inde · 08-30-2004, 01:52 PM

omfg.... that's the funniest shit I've read in a long time

pure energy · 08-30-2004, 08:40 PM

Too long to read.

Screaming · 08-30-2004, 08:40 PM

MandyBlake · 08-30-2004, 09:04 PM

What's with all the smelly, infected vagina stuff on GFY tonight? lol

exposed · 08-30-2004, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GatorB
20. My vagina is deceased.

pornguy · 08-30-2004, 09:06 PM

Looks like it might be a few quotes from that book.

jOdEs · 08-30-2004, 09:07 PM

08-30-2004, 12:22 PM	#1
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	My Vagina is Irritated http://www.amsterdambabe.com/pivot/entry.php?id=76 My vagina is beginning to irritate me I know I shouldn't laugh, but dammit it's funny "VAGINITIS" QUERIES IN THE FEMINA MAGAZINE ... These letters came in response to an advert in a South African woman's magazine called Femina. All of the extracts are from people whose first (or second) language is NOT English and who live a very rural existence. Back in 1985, SA Femina Magazine ran an advertisement for Nelex, a medicine for the treatment of a vaginal infection known as Vaginitis. The ad prompted hundreds of l etters from sufferers countrywide, most of them from women who were clearly unsure as to what exactly was wrong with them. The letters were collected by the advertising agency that created the Femina ad who swear that every single one of them is genuine. Herewith extracts from some of the most hilarious: 1. My interesting language is English, so you better send me an English copy of your vaginitis. 2. Please send me the following symptoms: itching, discharge, unpleasant smell. I am one of those with a virg inal problem. I will be very grateful if my disease were acceptable. 3. Dear sirs, greetings as patient to you, but I have not got enough time to express my sickness over this paper. I wan t to come by myself to confess my sickness to you after I use this Nelex. The trouble is my vaginitis and that I'm so ugly. 4. How can I get va ginal infection? Most chemists cannot help. 5. Is vaginitis normal, or does it occur by mistakes like having sex? My husband is not happy with the behaviour of my vagina at bedtime. 6. Please send me more information about these vaginal erections. My symptoms are some of the ones you didn't mention, so please send me another medicine. Every boyfriend left me and made another girl pregnant, so maybe you can help me. With modern life of anonymous infection, I have found your vaginal infection very handy and unavoidable. I tried Dettol, Omo (a washing powder) and also pure brandy. All in vain. My problem is itching, burning pain after intercourse when the weather is cold or foggy. 7. I am a young lady of 1963. Will you please send me more news about my virginia pains du ring intercourse, even when I'm not having intercourse at. I use to have sex eight to ten times a day. Now I am very dry. I went to the hospital and they told me I have too much sex. Maybe I should move to Durban for the humidity. 8. I am a girl of 21 years of edge. Can you help me with Virginial infractions? Last night the virginial infections suddenly attacked me. What do you want me to do? 9. Please send me Nelex. I am so sick I will even pay for it. My virginia is wide open, but I only slept with my husband alone, but he says I am a bitch. I slept with many men. Can you close my virginia for me? 10. I really want a baby, but I don't want to be pregnant. The first time noticed vaginal infection was in your advert. My vargin is beginning to irritate me. I scream at it sometimes but it doesn't help. Sometimes my anus produces an unpleasant smell. Please send my letter back so I can remember what I have written. 11. Please advertise more so that I can remember that I have an infection. I stopped having sexual intercourse with my husband, but he hasn't stopped with me. My problem is I feel itching even when my husband romances me with his erection. I have never told anyone about my symptoms, now I see them publicly advertised. 12. I am 42 years old, but the infections started when I was much older and please reply as soon as it is convenient for me. I have pain during sex and also during intercourse. My virgin is badly leaking. Does Nelex work like a cork? 13. When I was 13 I spray my vagina with Airoma room freshener, now I am 18 and I need your help. Please send any good and large information to my suffering vagina. 14. According to symptoms advertised, I have discovered four of them in my promised one. She urges me so help me to help her. My new address is (address supplied) but please send your reply to my old address.Can I get vaginal infection without prescription? 15. Nelex the effective treatment, is it also effective in Zimbabwe. My husband does not know where I live, so we never have sex. I have never had sex, but I have this virginity problem. The bath water must have infected me, although I swear nobody bathed after me in the same water. 16. I have re-organised my virginia recently. It is easy to know when I have vaginitis, but how do I know when I do not have vaginitis? 17. How are you at that side or Randburg? I hail to you with my wife's vaginal infection from Zimbabwe but I know that some people order the thing without knowing them of seeing in other words they order them for nothing without using them. 18. I am 20 years old and will be 21 sooner than expected. I cannot tell my mother about it: she has no vagina. The last time I looked for my vaginitis I could not find it anywhere. 19. My vagina was discharged recently. 20. My vagina is deceased. 21. I am a doll of 19 and I want to introduce my itchy vagina to you. I hope you are in a favourable condition for my vaginitis. I have this virginity disease. I hope my letter arrives at tea time so you can study it better. I don't know if the smell really comes from my vagina. My nose cannot reach it properly. But I promise, my body also has some healthy parts. 22. How are you sir? I am very wel l, but I am also a very sick girl. Thank you for telling us how to avoid burning and itching virgins. 23. I live very far away, and therefore wander if my letter will reach you. I am not an ignorant girl, but how can I be sure? Please rescue my vaginal cavity from attack, sir, and send me this infection quickly. This Nelex it can help me. I will call my first son Nelex. Also my eyes and kids are itchy. I better stop looking at them. I air my vagina three times a day, much to my husband's regret. At today's price of water, I'd rather use Nelex. I have five of the four symptoms you mentioned No comments yet: __________________ icq:159548293

08-30-2004, 12:29 PM	#3
Floridiot Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: fort lauderdale Posts: 1,346	thats so fucked up __________________ Need custom Tshirts? i provide quality shirts, screen printing, and personalized labels with your logo. For a catalog email me at: [email protected]

08-30-2004, 01:16 PM	#8
TweetyBird Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Canadian this !!! Posts: 8,532	haha __________________ sig for sale. ICQ :338213644

08-30-2004, 08:40 PM	#12
pure energy Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 4,274	Too long to read. __________________ Click Here to get $42 a sale AND Get FREE MGP Coaching from WebmasterLabor.Com Sign up above then EMAIL info (( at )) webmasterlabor DOT com for your free 1 to 1 MGP coaching

08-30-2004, 08:40 PM	#13
Screaming I can change this!!!!! Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 18,972	__________________

08-30-2004, 12:25 PM	#2
bluff Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Bluffville Posts: 6,253	ahem

08-30-2004, 12:31 PM	#4
TheWildcard So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,759

08-30-2004, 12:31 PM	#5
zdwebber So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Hit me up @ 97400700 . If your looking for traffic trades, head over to HQBang.com. If your looking for a place to submit, head there as well. If you have a vaginal opening and are looking for insertion, please contact me asap. BANG!!! Posts: 768	10. I really want a baby, but I don't want to be pregnant. The first time noticed vaginal infection was in your advert. My vargin is beginning to irritate me. I scream at it sometimes but it doesn't help. Sometimes my anus produces an unpleasant smell. Please send my letter back so I can remember what I have written. wow....

08-30-2004, 01:10 PM	#7
dropped9 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Your moms box Posts: 26,727	those cant be real........

08-30-2004, 01:51 PM	#10
GatorB The Demon & 12clicks Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: SallyRand is a FAGGOT Posts: 18,208	20. My vagina is deceased.

08-30-2004, 01:52 PM	#11
Inde Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 983	omfg.... that's the funniest shit I've read in a long time

08-30-2004, 09:04 PM	#14
MandyBlake The one and only! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 17,761	What's with all the smelly, infected vagina stuff on GFY tonight? lol __________________ Mandy's Playhouse Her First Fat Girl If you're interested in promoting my sites, ICQ me! 178411921

08-30-2004, 09:06 PM	#16
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	Looks like it might be a few quotes from that book. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

08-30-2004, 09:07 PM	#17
jOdEs Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 271