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Old 11-07-2004, 06:42 PM   #2101
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:42 PM   #2102
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:42 PM   #2103
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A customer enters a pet shop.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:42 PM   #2104
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I want a peice of this one too . I'ma post here for a while
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:43 PM   #2105
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:43 PM   #2106
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1. The female always makes the rules. 2. The rules can change without notice. 3. Males can't know the rules. 4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some of the rules. 5. The female never bears the blame for being wrong. 6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something that the male did or said which was wrong. 7. If rule 6 applies, the male must apologize for causing the misunderstanding. 8. The female can change her mind. 9. The male must never change his mind without the consent of the female. 10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. 11. The male must always remain calm unless the female wants him to be angry or upset. 12. The female must never let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset. 13. If the female has PMS, there are no rules. 14. The male cannot diagnose PMS.
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:43 PM   #2107
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:43 PM   #2108
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Need a Push?

Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing.

A: She had no arms.
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:43 PM   #2109
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:43 PM   #2110
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Damn juicy is fast ... that gotta be a postbot
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:44 PM   #2111
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# If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

# Say "no" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

# If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

# If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog has the gout..."

# If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

# Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

# Ask them to repeat everything they say several times.

# Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

# Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

# When the salesperson asks, "Is this the homeowner?" say, "Is this the salesperson?" And when they say, "Yes," hang up.
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:44 PM   #2112
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:44 PM   #2113
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when i kick it doggystyle the chicks better watch out
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:44 PM   #2114
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Damn he's a human postbot :P
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:44 PM   #2115
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:44 PM   #2116
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And I thought I had a chance at getting back to you b4 6 months
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:45 PM   #2117
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:45 PM   #2118
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Originally posted by juicylinks
the way every civic should be put to rest.
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:45 PM   #2119
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need more posts~~~ Need more posts!!!!
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AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online!
TChicks.com | Angeles Cid | Mariana Cordoba | MAILERS WELCOME!
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:45 PM   #2120
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Quote:
Originally posted by spunky
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:45 PM   #2121
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:45 PM   #2122
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Juicy is posting his whole picture collection
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:45 PM   #2123
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:45 PM   #2124
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Or just stealing all DG's pics
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:46 PM   #2125
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:46 PM   #2126
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Spunky is abusing of the chicks
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:46 PM   #2127
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Quote:
Originally posted by juicylinks
best pic ever ;)
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:46 PM   #2128
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:P This thread will hit 5k before dating gold's one
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:47 PM   #2129
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And people aren't even paid to post in it
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:47 PM   #2130
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Ok now I'm alone in it ... wtf
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:47 PM   #2131
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Spunky is abusing of the chicks
? English translation
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:47 PM   #2132
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:47 PM   #2133
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English translation = KEEP GOING MOTHERFUCKER
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:48 PM   #2134
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It makes this thread looks goooood
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:48 PM   #2135
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I wonder who will be the first to hit 30k between spunky and I ... probably spunky

I want a plat card
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:48 PM   #2136
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Ok now I'm alone in it ... wtf
you're not alone
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:48 PM   #2137
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:48 PM   #2138
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:49 PM   #2139
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:49 PM   #2140
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Originally posted by smack
you're not alone
Well I was alone posting for 2 mins
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:49 PM   #2141
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:49 PM   #2142
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Originally posted by juicylinks
owned :P badly
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I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:50 PM   #2143
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I wonder who will be the first to hit 30k between spunky and I ... probably spunky

I want a plat card
Naw..not me..I work fulltime..there is just not enough time..probably that manowar surfer dude
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:50 PM   #2144
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i'm gonna have to go out for cigs soon.
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:50 PM   #2145
Doctor Dre
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Originally posted by juicylinks
what is this ?
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Originally Posted by rayadp05 View Post
I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:50 PM   #2146
Juicy D. Links
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:50 PM   #2147
Juicy D. Links
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:51 PM   #2148
Doctor Dre
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Originally posted by spunky
Naw..not me..I work fulltime..there is just not enough time..probably that manowar surfer dude
I work about 8 hours a day too ... still find time to post here . I do 12-14 hours day lately


After this month I doubt I'l be able to post here much .
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rayadp05 View Post
I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:51 PM   #2149
Juicy D. Links
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:51 PM   #2150
Doctor Dre
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Posts: 51,692
Quote:
Originally posted by juicylinks
Yummy I want a peice
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rayadp05 View Post
I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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