Lets have some fun together! Winner takes one year free license of submitter.

[da man]

GFY Contest Rules

We all agree that too many contests are annoying and fuel post whores. So:

1. No 'most posts in a thread contests'. Max 100 posts in a thread by one person.

2. No one registered in less than 60 days before can post in a contest thread.

3. Contests can't run more than 10 days. And no more than 3 contests at a time. And since only top advertisers can run contests, you need to coordinate with Eric BEFORE starting a contest.

Hey sisters and bros of GFY!

I feel I want to start this day on the board with something special.
I am sure, everyone of you guys opens an e-mail account every
morning and gets this funny stuff via e-mail.
Do you also have friends sending funny pictures all the time?
Or did you just find some really good joke yourself somewhere
on the net and now you can laugh your ass off?

Well, to be honest, today I did not. So, please, share with me and all of us!

Me and my friends will appreciate it.

Post some good stuff here and I will patiently check this thread every day for the next 14 days. All the other people, checking this with me, feel free to vote and post your opinion, which piece do you like best.

After 14 days, I will count all the votes posted here. To make it serious, I will give out free submitter to the winner with the most votes from you all.
Lets say, there must be at least 3 things to choose from at the end of the 14 days period from 3 different people to count this as a fair competition.

The prize will be one year license of Chameleon Submitter. This is not a joke. Winner takes the license number after I contact him/her on icq or e-mail within 5 days after the whole 14 days period. I will also post another thread to publish his/her nick name.

I hope you will enjoy this with me and we will all have funnier days on the board.

Good luck

[dunefield]

[djroof]

Great offer!!!!

[cool1]

A man goes to the Super Bowl but his tickets are for the upper tier. He spots an open seat on the 50-yard line and grabs it.

The guy sitting next to him says, ?Actually, this seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven?t been to together since we got married in 1967.?

?I?m sorry to hear that,? says the first man. ?Couldn?t you find a friend or relative to come with you??

?Nope,? replies the second guy. ?Everyone?s at the funeral.?

[Harmon]

STFU LOL

[cool1]

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

[cool1]

Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman.
The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game".

The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle.

She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. "

The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup."

The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup."

The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."

[G-Rotica]

Differences Between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans


Are You a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans And Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around
the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,raises
the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are
an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should ! I call 9 -1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Point?"

[cool1]

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a machete to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a magnum gun and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"

[bjjb]

[cool1]

This guy goes into a hore house and gives the lady at the front desk $500 and tells her that he wants a woman that can handle him.

She replies, go down the hall and its the second door on the right.

He does and just as they get started she starts screaming from the pain. He then marches back to the front desk and tell the woman that he said he wanted a woman that could handle him.

She says, ok go down the hall and its the third door on the left.

He does and once again the woman starts screaming just as they get started. Then he goes back to the front desk and she says I know I know you want a women that can handle you.

She says, ok ok this time go all the way down the hall and down the stairs, there won't be any lights so just feel around til you hit something wet and stick it in.

He does this and just as they get started nothing happens there isn't any screaming. Well he thinks, finally, this could work.

As he gets into it he shouts "Oh yea, talk to me baby".

From the dark, "MOOOOOO"!

[bjjb]

[bjjb]

[bjjb]

[bjjb]

[cool1]

Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.

First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"

The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."

[da man]

Hey...

It does not started so bad, right?

I must say, that the first picture is my favourite so far, but there is some
other good stuff too...
But as we just started, lets see what we will get next!

Thanks to all of you for your participation so far.

Enjoy this

[eroswebmaster]

Sorry but those comic strips suck ass.

[da man]

Quite nice for the first day.

Thanks.

[da man]

Hi everybody,

its a second in the row today, since I opened this thread yesterday.

There is still this one year free license of Chameleon Submitter hanging out from air...

Anybody else have something to post for today?

[da man]

this is second day out of 14.
12 full days left to post here.

If I count correctly, there is 5 people in this friendly competition so far.

Anybody else interested in winning free Chameleon? read and post!

let us have some fun too!

[tornell]

[DutchTeenCash]

[da man]

Hi all!

Let me take this opportunity to open another day of this.

Thank you for your all new posts.

[DutchTeenCash]

[DutchTeenCash]

[DutchTeenCash]

[da man]

Oooookay!

Its getting nice and full in here.
This is our 3rd here together. 3rd day of this thread.

All of you guys who still did not post anything here, you are more than welcome to do it now or in the next 11 days.

This friendly contest takes 14 days in total, now we have 11 days left.

At the end, there will be one "lucky" person who gets a little gift.

For all the details, please read the first post of this thread.

[pornguy]

Some of those are great.

[cool1]

[cool1]

[EdgeXXX]

Originally Posted by cool1

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

[da man]

Thanks for all new posts here.

Special thanks to EdgeXXX, one of the first persons that used the chance to vote.

You can vote either the same way by quoting the posts you like, or
just easily leave a message with the number of post that is your favorite!

Dont forget to have a good day!

[RayBonga]

[RayBonga]

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker,
Morris is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a
normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden
change in "fashion sense."

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into
earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," Morris replies
sheepishly.

"So, really? How long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in our bed."

[RayBonga]

[RayBonga]

Are those trophies?

[RayBonga]

[RayBonga]

"Place de la Femme" translation womens square

[dij]

Originally Posted by eroswebmaster

Sorry but those comic strips suck ass.

i agree
.....

[RayBonga]

I'll post some more tomorrow

[dij]

here is a good one

[da man]

wow, No. 38 made my day!

thanks

guys, my vote does not count, yours does!

[da man]

Originally Posted by dij

here is a good one

short story, but very true,

thanks dij

[RayBonga]

Originally Posted by da man

wow, No. 38 made my day!

thanks

guys, my vote does not count, yours does!

Thanks man, I'll try to find some more funnies to post

[da man]

Originally Posted by RayBonga

Thanks man, I'll try to find some more funnies to post

You are more than welcome to do it...
But even if you dont, yours are very cool so far!

thanks RayBonga

All of you guys also should not forget about voting. I will count all the votes at the end of this, and they will be at least as important as quality of your posts.

Ask friends to vote for your posts following the 2 easy steps mentioned in my post recent post.

Every user have the right of 1 vote. The person with the most votes takes the prize at the end.

[cool1]

Four guys who worked together always golfed as a group at 7:00 a.m. on Sunday. Unfortunately, one of them got transferred
out of town and they were talking about trying to fill out the foursome.

A woman standing near the tee said, ?Hey, I like to golf, can I join the group?? They were hesitant, but said she could come once to try it and they could see what they thought.

They all agreed and she said, ?Good, I?ll be there at 6:30 or 6:45.? She showed up right at 6:30, and wound up setting a course record with a 7-under par round. The guys went nuts and everyone in the clubhouse congratulated her.

Meanwhile, she was fun and pleasant the entire round. The guys happily invited her back the next week and she said, ?Sure, I?ll be here at 6:30 or 6:45.?

Again, she showed up at 6:30 Sunday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed, and matched her 7-under par score of the previous week. By now the guys were totally amazed, and they asked her to join the group for keeps. They had a beer after their round, and one of the guys asked her, ?How do you decide if you?re going to golf right-handed or left-handed??

She said, ?That?s easy. Before I leave for the golf course, I pull the covers off my husband, who sleeps in the nude.
If his member is pointing to the right, I golf right-handed; if it?s pointed to the left, golf left-handed.?

One of the guys asked, ?What if it?s pointed straight up??

She said, ?Then I?ll be here at 6:45.?

[cool1]

A distraught patient phoned her doctor?s office. Was it true, the woman wanted to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life? She was told that it was. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, ?I?m wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked ?NO REFILLS.

[cool1]

Right in the middle of lovemaking, the husband dies of a heart attack. As the funeral arrangements are being made, the mortician informs the widow that he cannot get rid of her dead husband?s rigor mortis hard-on which is sticking straight up in the air and if they don?t do something, it will look odd in the coffin at the funeral.

The widow tells the guy to cut it off and stick it up her dear departed?s behind. The mortician can?t believe his ears but the widow is adamant, so he does it. During the funeral, friends and relatives of the dead man were concerned to see a tear in the corner of his eye, but the widow assured them that there was no cause to be alarmed.

Just before the casket is closed, the widow leans in and whispers in the dead man?s ear, ?It HURTS, doesn?t it??

[cool1]

A man was driving down the highway, and sees a sign saying ?Sisters of Mercy, House of Prostitution, 10 miles?

Thinking it is some sort of joke, he pays no attention, until he sees a similar sign reading ?Sister?s of Mercy, House of Prostitution, 5 miles.?

Still unsure, he drives on, until spotting a third sign saying ?Sister?s of Mercy, House of Prostitution, next exit?. His curiosity getting the better of him, he takes the exit and parks his car outside the convent.

He knocks on the door, and tells the nun who answers ?I saw your signs on the highway, are they for real??

The nun answers ?Yes?, and tells him to give her $50 and follow her to a room.

He enters a room, and a second nun requests $50, and leads him to a door. Once he opens the door, he is quickly shoved outside by the nun.

He finds himself behind the convent, where he sees the final sign, ?Thank you for your contribution, you have just been screwed by the Sisters of Mercy."