Jerking off @ the office - GoFuckYourself.com

Brut · 05-03-2002, 12:27 AM

You guys know what it feels like: that hard-on that just won't stop, that won't go down no matter what you do or what you think about. The only way to tame the beast is by slapping it. It happens now and then, and shouldn't be mistaken for the regular hard-ons that comes and goes.

Now, once a while this beast is awoken when I'm at work, which happened the other day. Overcome by the desire and the need to get it down (lunch was coming up), I placed my raging hard-on so that it couldn't be seen, put my sweater over and headed for the bathroom. Once there I was faced with this dilemma, which I want to know if any of you guys out there has ever faced:

When you go into the toilet you can always assume that someone have to go in right after you, in other words: someone might be standing outside waiting for you to finish. But beating off takes more time than taking a piss, even if you wrestle the one eyed warrior in a tempo that makes the right arm cramp up, it usually takes the same amount of time as if you're taking a dump. So it's safe to assume that anyone standing outside waiting for you to finish - thus have to wait at least 5 minutes - will think that you're taking a shit.

But then, when you come out all red in the face and breathing heavily as if taken the shit of your life, they go in and they can't smell any foul stench, they surely must put two-and-two together? I don't want to be known as the jerk-off (litterally) in the office.

What can I do?

UnseenWorld · 05-03-2002, 12:28 AM

One word: saltpeter.

chodadog · 05-03-2002, 12:28 AM

Jerk off in your cubicle.

MetaformX · 05-03-2002, 12:30 AM

Brut, you sick motherfucker. I am telling dad

Exxxotica · 05-03-2002, 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Brut

But then, when you come out all red in the face and breathing heavily as if taken the shit of your life, they go in and they can't smell any foul stench, they surely must put two-and-two together? I don't want to be known as the jerk-off (litterally) in the office.

What can I do?

Invite them into your stall.

Friends who play together...stay together.

Brut · 05-03-2002, 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by chodadog
Jerk off in your cubicle.

Yah, only problem would be I would go nuts and shoot everywhere. Hitting everyone and everything around me. It would be the most awesome disaster the world has ever seen....so I don't think that would be an option

chodadog · 05-03-2002, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Brut

Yah, only problem would be I would go nuts and shoot everywhere. Hitting everyone and everything around me. It would be the most awesome disaster the world has ever seen....so I don't think that would be an option

Under the desk my good man! Leave it for the janitor! hahaha

Exxxotica · 05-03-2002, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by chodadog

Under the desk my good man! Leave it for the janitor! hahaha

On a more disgusting note:

When I got my cable conection, the guy came over and installed a card into the back of my PC.

Being that my PC is kept under my desk, he had to be down on his hands and knees under my desk installing the thing.

Let me remind you people... I somtimes masteurbate up to four times a day.

I felt so bad for that poor guy down there.

chodadog · 05-03-2002, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Exxxotica

On a more disgusting note:

When I got my cable conection, the guy came over and installed a card into the back of my PC.

Being that my PC is kept under my desk, he had to be down on his hands and knees under my desk installing the thing.

Let me remind you people... I somtimes masteurbate up to four times a day.

I felt so bad for that poor guy down there.

Ack!

Brut · 05-03-2002, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Exxxotica

On a more disgusting note:

When I got my cable conection, the guy came over and installed a card into the back of my PC.

Being that my PC is kept under my desk, he had to be down on his hands and knees under my desk installing the thing.

Let me remind you people... I somtimes masteurbate up to four times a day.

I felt so bad for that poor guy down there.

Whoa.. You don't clean yer shit up when yer done? lol. You should invest in a sock

chodadog · 05-03-2002, 12:46 AM

Yeah, exxx, you need a cum rag or something man.. that's just not coo'

Exxxotica · 05-03-2002, 12:49 AM

but it's NATURAL

chodadog · 05-03-2002, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Exxxotica
but it's NATURAL

I'm pretty sure the cable guys sees things differently! hehehehe

snowpimp · 05-03-2002, 01:22 AM

fill the room up with airfreshener or strike a bunch of matches as if you'd taken a shit. and don't forget to put the seat down before you walk out....i've been editing and reviewing our xpleasures videos, it's a *HARD* fucking job and sometimes when things get in the way, you just have to take care of business....

CDSmith · 05-03-2002, 01:28 AM

Simple --- carry a "stall broken" sign with you at all times. When you have to wank, just hang the sign and no one will bother you at all.

BTW, does anyone wanna buy woodywrench.com? How about pudpulley.com? yankywank.com? Just curious.
___________
CD
* <a href="http://www.cdsmodels.com/" TARGET="_blank">CD's Models on the Web</a> Centerfolds ~ Amateurs ~ Teens, <a href="http://www.cdsmodels.com/webmasters.html" TARGET="_blank">new trades</a> welcome.
* <a href="http://clickthrutraffic.com/scripts/signup.php?referer=cdsmith" TARGET="_blank"> Click-thrutraffic.com</a> 5 cents up to 20 cents per click!
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Due · 05-03-2002, 01:39 AM

Join a site with some old and fat people.
Whenever you feel you need to jerk off. Go look at the members area

I can give you some discount for www.oldnfat.com

Hot Tropical Babes · 05-03-2002, 02:21 AM

I dont know what to tell you Brut, I never have been faced with that kind of delima.

But, this may help, click on the thread called "This chick is hot"
that may shrink your dink.

Squishy · 05-03-2002, 02:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by CDSmith
Simple --- carry a "stall broken" sign with you at all times. When you have to wank, just hang the sign and no one will bother you at all...

Where you been, man? It makes me nervous when you disappear like that for so long...ya know, wolves and shit...

jojojo · 05-03-2002, 04:29 AM

Brut:

How can you jerk off knowing there are other men wandering around a few feet away from ya!

Look under the door and wait till you see 'no feet'

vegasdude · 05-03-2002, 04:34 AM

look here:
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...threadid=59122

and the hardon will die in less than 2 secs!

Milton · 05-03-2002, 05:55 AM

Normaly i take a jerk at the morning and the night..
when the porno movies start on tv.. vivid is good to jerk off
to ..

VeriSexy · 05-03-2002, 06:06 AM

You guys still get hard to porn? Maybe I have been at this too long. =/ Pictures and Movies don't do anything to me anymore.

Jamdin · 05-03-2002, 06:48 AM

You should try out the ladies' room instead. Open a stall door with some gal sitting on the throne & say in a low deep voice "Open up & I'll see to it that you get a raise!"

05-03-2002, 12:27 AM	#1
Brut So Fucking Banned Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: USA Posts: 81	Jerking off @ the office You guys know what it feels like: that hard-on that just won't stop, that won't go down no matter what you do or what you think about. The only way to tame the beast is by slapping it. It happens now and then, and shouldn't be mistaken for the regular hard-ons that comes and goes. Now, once a while this beast is awoken when I'm at work, which happened the other day. Overcome by the desire and the need to get it down (lunch was coming up), I placed my raging hard-on so that it couldn't be seen, put my sweater over and headed for the bathroom. Once there I was faced with this dilemma, which I want to know if any of you guys out there has ever faced: When you go into the toilet you can always assume that someone have to go in right after you, in other words: someone might be standing outside waiting for you to finish. But beating off takes more time than taking a piss, even if you wrestle the one eyed warrior in a tempo that makes the right arm cramp up, it usually takes the same amount of time as if you're taking a dump. So it's safe to assume that anyone standing outside waiting for you to finish - thus have to wait at least 5 minutes - will think that you're taking a shit. But then, when you come out all red in the face and breathing heavily as if taken the shit of your life, they go in and they can't smell any foul stench, they surely must put two-and-two together? I don't want to be known as the jerk-off (litterally) in the office. What can I do?

05-03-2002, 12:28 AM	#2
UnseenWorld Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Location: Portland, OR, USA Posts: 5,279	One word: saltpeter. __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

05-03-2002, 12:30 AM	#4
MetaformX Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 6,704	Brut, you sick motherfucker. I am telling dad __________________

05-03-2002, 01:22 AM	#14
snowpimp Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: South Lake Tahoe, CA Posts: 1,099	fill the room up with airfreshener or strike a bunch of matches as if you'd taken a shit. and don't forget to put the seat down before you walk out....i've been editing and reviewing our xpleasures videos, it's a HARD fucking job and sometimes when things get in the way, you just have to take care of business.... __________________ HIGH QUALITY ADULT AND NON-ADULT DESIGN/MARKETING WORK SINCE 1997!! Yan - ICQ # 4790444 - Phone: 530-544-7058 SIGNS, GRAPHICS & PRINTING ~ NETWORKING AND IT SERVICES

05-03-2002, 01:28 AM	#15
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Simple --- carry a "stall broken" sign with you at all times. When you have to wank, just hang the sign and no one will bother you at all. BTW, does anyone wanna buy woodywrench.com? How about pudpulley.com? yankywank.com? Just curious. <font face="Verdana"><b>___________</b> CD * <a href="http://www.cdsmodels.com/" TARGET="_blank"><font color="#FF0000">CD's Models on the Web</font></a> Centerfolds ~ Amateurs ~ Teens, <a href="http://www.cdsmodels.com/webmasters.html" TARGET="_blank">new trades</a> welcome. * <a href="http://clickthrutraffic.com/scripts/signup.php?referer=cdsmith" TARGET="_blank"><font color="#FFDDFF"> Click-thrutraffic.com</font></a> 5 cents up to 20 cents per click! * <a href="http://www.erasercash.com/wm.html?ID=1380291" TARGET="_blank"><font face="Verdana" color="#FFCCCC">ERASERCASH!</font></a> Earn $45 per sale + webmaster referrals <i>4 LEVELS DEEP</i></font>

05-03-2002, 12:28 AM	#3
chodadog Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 9,736	Jerk off in your cubicle.

05-03-2002, 12:46 AM	#11
chodadog Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 9,736	Yeah, exxx, you need a cum rag or something man.. that's just not coo'

05-03-2002, 12:49 AM	#12
Exxxotica Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Oregun Posts: 4,396	but it's NATURAL

05-03-2002, 01:39 AM	#16
Due Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Murrieta, CA Posts: 3,620	Join a site with some old and fat people. Whenever you feel you need to jerk off. Go look at the members area I can give you some discount for www.oldnfat.com __________________ I buy plugs Skype: Due_Global /Due

05-03-2002, 02:21 AM	#17
Hot Tropical Babes Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Orlando FL Posts: 3,014	I dont know what to tell you Brut, I never have been faced with that kind of delima. But, this may help, click on the thread called "This chick is hot" that may shrink your dink. __________________ <BR> Trade with Big Tits TGP Trade with Titman

05-03-2002, 04:29 AM	#19
jojojo Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 2,318	Brut: How can you jerk off knowing there are other men wandering around a few feet away from ya! Look under the door and wait till you see 'no feet'

05-03-2002, 04:34 AM	#20
vegasdude Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: The Royal Family Crew Posts: 3,649	look here: http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...threadid=59122 and the hardon will die in less than 2 secs! __________________ Did you fucking talk to me??! Who the fuck told you to talk to me??!"

05-03-2002, 05:55 AM	#21
Milton Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Mauritius Posts: 1,118	Normaly i take a jerk at the morning and the night.. when the porno movies start on tv.. vivid is good to jerk off to ..

05-03-2002, 06:06 AM	#22
VeriSexy Join The Royal Family Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 25,463	You guys still get hard to porn? Maybe I have been at this too long. =/ Pictures and Movies don't do anything to me anymore. __________________ Looking for a KICK ASS TEEN SPONSOR? Check out ROYAL CASH - THE KING OF TEEN! Incredible webmaster tools FHGs, Morphing Blog and RSS Feeds, Embedded FLV & WMV Videos. With TOP RATIO Sites like TeenStarsOnly.com - Earn $$ with our New Site & Bonus Payouts!! ATMovs.com \| iTeenVideo.com \| TeenSexMovs.com \| TeenSexMania.com

05-03-2002, 06:48 AM	#23
Jamdin Registered User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Kansas Posts: 3,560	You should try out the ladies' room instead. Open a stall door with some gal sitting on the throne & say in a low deep voice "Open up & I'll see to it that you get a raise!"