lets tell racial jokes! - Page 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

pussyserver - BANNED FOR LIFE · 08-02-2006, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrPheer

go ahead and spit on me, you'll just feel stupid as you're wiping off your monitor

dumbass

this guy felt the strongest need to respond

escorpio · 08-02-2006, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pussyserver

I think the thread title and the contents of my post pretty much speak for it self.

here it is in its entierty

""I was on the fence before but now FUCK ISRAEL

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yep its official they have pretty much lost a supporter at this point

one thing I will not condone is the killing of innocent children I hope hezbolah catch a few more of their worthless soilders and cut theyr fuckin heads off on al jazera

they deserve it""

to any casual reader of this post its obvious where I was coming from from the title of the post to the contents of the message

I was a supporter of Israel and was angry at the thought of innocent children being killed to a non casual reader or someone who understands that every word has a purpose

they would read this and imediately conclude although I support Israel I was distancing myself from the tragedy of those children being killed both publicly and emotionaly

Distancing yourself by saying "FUCK ISRAEL" and calling for the public decapitation of Israelis. Now explain to me how I twisted your words? You don't seem to understand the difference between editing the irrelevant and twisting your words.

Alex · 08-02-2006, 12:52 PM

Dude why even talk to this terrorist.

I wish he said that to an IDF soldier and walked away without any broken bone.

Drake · 08-02-2006, 12:55 PM

pussyserver - BANNED FOR LIFE · 08-02-2006, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by escorpio

Distancing yourself by saying "FUCK ISRAEL" and calling for the public decapitation of Israelis. Now explain to me how I twisted your words? You don't seem to understand the difference between editing the irrelevant and twisting your words.

I called for the decapitation of military soilders....

in response to killing civilian children

the two are completely diffrent

The loss of young life really strikes a nerve with me and I can see where my post would make you think I am anti Israel or anti semite

but I am not

I am aniti ignorance and anti war and anti big brother and anti racist

but not not anti anything against any whole people

before the kids were killed I supported Israel 1000% and thought they should go in and wipe the terrorist out all along I called for putting troops on the ground to get it done versus air strikes with bombs

truthly I really dont care what people think of me if I was anti israel you would know this for a fact and there would not be any debating it

sorry you feel as you do

Donfoolio · 08-02-2006, 01:06 PM

Q: Why must dicks ruin a good joke thread with politics?

A: Because they are dicks!

Q: What is the definition of selfrighteousness?

A: Ask any GFY member!

Q: What is the definition of pompous?

A: Ask any GFY member!

I hate everyone equally, race, color, creed you all need a cock stuffed in the mouth to STFU! Too many political "opinions" here.

http://www.politicalcrossfire.com/forum/index.php

a much better place for discussion of 9/11, Hezbollah, China, Korea bla bla bla.

Porn > Politics nuff said

Alex · 08-02-2006, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pussyserver

post

Damn you are such a fucking douchebag.

We had a good and funny thread here going and you had to ruin it with stupid politics.

We all know you love Hezbollah and hate Isreali soldiers for defending thier home land.

No one cares. Back to the jokes.

notabook · 08-02-2006, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

I wish he said that to an IDF soldier and walked away without any broken bone.

I'd gladly say that to an IDF soldier's face assuming the jewrat agreed not to cheat and use any weaponry other than his fists. I love beating the shit out of baby killers in the morning.

pussyserver - BANNED FOR LIFE · 08-02-2006, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

Dude why even talk to this terrorist.

I wish he said that to an IDF soldier and walked away without any broken bone.

Alex as for you....I dont think I need to tell you that this conversation is well beyond your level and this is the reason I have chosen to ignore your post

I am sure notabook or hooligan or jimithefiend or some one on your level would be more then happy to engage in conversation with you

but you are not worth my keystrokes

take care

Alex · 08-02-2006, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notabook

I'd gladly say that to an IDF soldier's face assuming the jewrat agreed not to cheat and use any weaponry other than his fists. I love beating the shit out of baby killers in the morning.

You better be an expert at Krav Magna or have a really good health insurance program.

Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE · 08-02-2006, 01:12 PM

what do you call a bunch of white guys rolling down a hill?

avalanche

what do you call a bunch of mexicans rolling down a hill?

land slide

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:12 PM

back to the jokes

An old jew is dying and is at his deathbed calling to his family.
"Sarah, my wife... Are You Here ?", he asks.
"I'm here my love", she replies.
"Judith, My daugther... Are You Here ?", he asks.
"I'm here father", she replies.
"David, my son... Are You Here ?", he asks.
"I'm here father", he replies.
Then old Jew asks: "Then who in the hell is minding the store ?"

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:13 PM

An Irish man went to his first American baseball game. As the first batter made a hit, fans jumped up yelling, "RUN! RUN!"
The Irish man jumped up as well yelling, "Run, laddie! Run laddie!"
The next batter got up and made his hit. The fans again cheered, "RUN! RUN!"
The Irish man jumped up yelling "Run laddie! Run laddie!"
The third batter got up got ball 1...ball 2...ball 3...ball 4.....The umpire yelled "Take your base!"
The batter jogged to the base.
The Irish man jumped up an yelled "Run laddie! Run laddie!"
Another fan looked at him and said, "He does not need to run, he has 4 balls!"
The Irish man's jaw dropped, and turned and said, "Walk with pride, lad! Walk with pride!"

escorpio · 08-02-2006, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pussyserver

I called for the decapitation of military soilders....

in response to killing civilian children

the two are completely diffrent

Yes, you called for the decapitation of Israeli soldiers and you used the deaths of civilian children as a reason. This in no way changes your hateful statements toward Israel or your support of Hezbollah, it only rationalizes them.

Alex · 08-02-2006, 01:17 PM

Q: Whats wrong with 5 blacks driving a Cadillac off of a cliff?
A: The car holds 6.

Q: Why cant stevie wonder read?
A: Cuz hes black

Q: What does FUBU stand for?
A: Farmers Used to Beat Us

Q: What do you call a black man at the bottom of the ocean?
A: Polution

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:17 PM

German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.

Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fibre net.

Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing...
They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 45,000 years ago had cellular telephones.

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:19 PM

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large."

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?"

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"

wdsguy · 08-02-2006, 01:19 PM

thanks for the laugh.

escorpio · 08-02-2006, 01:19 PM

I owe the thread a joke after my last post...

What do you say to a black man on a bike?

Stop thief!

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:20 PM

At a resort club in France, a romantic Frenchman spots an American lady tourist entering the dining section. He swiftly rushes to her assistance, with his usual charm and his obviously attractive dialect, "Bonjour, madamoiselle." "Bonjour!" She answers back, "Can you........?"

And before she could finish her sentence, the Frenchman interrupts to say, "Anysing, yes I can, for you. Ma cherrie." He takes her hand, kisses her palm, licks her fingers romantically and then continues saying, "Just as beautiful and sweet as you are, your fingers are. What is this tasty lotion you use, ma cherrie? And if I may ask, what is this you wanted to be assisted in?"

The lady (at that time very impressed) answered, "I've just been changing my baby's diaper's, he has been suffering from serious diarrhea. So, I just wanted to know where I could wash my hands."

pussyserver - BANNED FOR LIFE · 08-02-2006, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by escorpio

Yes, you called for the decapitation of Israeli soldiers and you used the deaths of civilian children as a reason. This in no way changes your hateful statements toward Israel or your support of Hezbollah, it only rationalizes them.

my remarks were not hateful toward the country israel

maybe "angry remarks" but not hateful

thats a pretty heavy word

and I do not support hezbollah never have have,,,,never said anything that can be interpeted as support for hezbollah

I expressed anger at the israli military....I think thats a big diffrence from exspressing anger towards the people of israel in general

would you agree??

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:22 PM

George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Bush," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Bush replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "well, there's meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Bush paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Bush asked.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Bush sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to ya."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring ya back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Bush. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

God Bless the Irish!

notabook · 08-02-2006, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

You better be an expert at Krav Magna or have a really good health insurance program.

I'm a competent fighter, but I doubt I could take a well trained soldier on hand-to-hand and hope to win just by that alone. My only real skill that would help me probably come on top is my huge natural tolerance to pain. I can take punch after punch after punch and just not go down. I found this out during my schooldays? I used to get in fights with the black kids all the time and after getting punched in the face and head repeatedly by 6?3? black assholes, it never slowed me down. I would feel nothing for almost the rest of the day from the adrenaline rush. I?d sure the fuck feel the pain the next day though? Jesus Christ would I feel the fucking pain later hahahaha.

godisdead · 08-02-2006, 01:24 PM

A couple, both rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed."

The doctor asked them why, after 9 children, they would choose to do this.

The husband replied that they had read a recent article that 1 out of every 10 children being born in the United States was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

Alex · 08-02-2006, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pussyserver

my remarks were not hateful toward the country israel

maybe "angry remarks" but not hateful

thats a pretty heavy word

and I do not support hezbollah never have have,,,,never said anything that can be interpeted as support for hezbollah

I expressed anger at the israli military....I think thats a big diffrence from exspressing anger towards the people of israel in general

would you agree??

Expressing anger and asking for the heads of soldiers are two different things.

You are a coward.

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:25 PM

First grade class comes in from recess.

Teacher asks Alice: "What did you do at recess?" Alice says, "I played in the sand box." Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie." She does and gets a cookie.

Teacher asks Billy what he did at recess. Billy says, "I played with Alice in sand box." Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'Box' correctly on blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." Billy does, and gets a cookie.

Teacher then asks Luis-Fernando Rodriguez what he did at recess. He says, "I tried to play with Alice and Billy, but they threw rocks at me." Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."

Alex · 08-02-2006, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notabook

I'm a competent fighter, but I doubt I could take a well trained soldier on hand-to-hand and hope to win just by that alone. My only real skill that would help me probably come on top is my huge natural tolerance to pain. I can take punch after punch after punch and just not go down. I found this out during my schooldays? I used to get in fights with the black kids all the time and after getting punched in the face and head repeatedly by 6?3? black assholes, it never slowed me down. I would feel nothing for almost the rest of the day from the adrenaline rush. I?d sure the fuck feel the pain the next day though? Jesus Christ would I feel the fucking pain later hahahaha.

You obviously dont know what Krav Magna is.

You wont be taking any punches, because you will be to busy on the ground with a foot up your ass.

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:26 PM

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.

"Nothing," shrugged the woman, " I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback........"

escorpio · 08-02-2006, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pussyserver

my remarks were not hateful toward the country israel

maybe "angry remarks" but not hateful

thats a pretty heavy word

and I do not support hezbollah never have have,,,,never said anything that can be interpeted as support for hezbollah

I expressed anger at the israli military....I think thats a big diffrence from exspressing anger towards the people of israel in general

would you agree??

I'm afraid we're just going to have to disagree on this one. Let's let this get back to being a joke thread.

Alex · 08-02-2006, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gimo33

First grade class comes in from recess.

Teacher asks Alice: "What did you do at recess?" Alice says, "I played in the sand box." Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie." She does and gets a cookie.

Teacher asks Billy what he did at recess. Billy says, "I played with Alice in sand box." Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'Box' correctly on blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." Billy does, and gets a cookie.

Teacher then asks Luis-Fernando Rodriguez what he did at recess. He says, "I tried to play with Alice and Billy, but they threw rocks at me." Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."

We are getting our jokes from the same site haha.

Alex · 08-02-2006, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by escorpio

I'm afraid we're just going to have to disagree on this one. Let's let this get back to being a joke thread.

Careful.
If you disagree with him, he will ask for your head.

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:29 PM

A man walked into a supermarket, asking to buy half a head of lettuce. The stock boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man was insistent: he did not need a whole head, only a half head. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter.

The boy walked into the back room and said, "There's some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he finished speaking, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "--and this gentleman wants to buy the other half."

The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way. Afterward, the manager said "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from, son?"

"Texas, sir".

"Oh really? Why did you leave Texas?" Asked the manager.

The boy said, "Nothing but whores and ball players down there."

"Hey!" Said the manager, "My wife is from Texas!!"

"No kidding!" Says the boy. "What team did she play for?"

notabook · 08-02-2006, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

You obviously dont know what Krav Magna is.

You wont be taking any punches, because you will be to busy on the ground with a foot up your ass.

Krav Magna = Fagg0t Tricks? I mean, don't get me wrong, It's not wrong for you to get things put up your ass... but damn those jewrats are kinky.

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

We are getting our jokes from the same site haha.

lol... i think so too..

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:33 PM

An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, "I've got some bad news for
you...you have the cancer and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month." Murphy, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from
the doctor's office into the waiting room.

There he saw his son who had been waiting. Murphy said, "Son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have
cancer and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints."

After three or four pints the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Murphy's old friends who asked
what the two were celebrating. Murphy told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the bad...He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends "I've only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS." The friends gave Murphy their condolences and they had a couple more beers.

After his friends left, Murphy's son leaned over and whispered his confusion, "Dad I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying from
AIDS?" Murphy said, "I am dying from cancer son, I just don't want any of them sleeping with your mother."

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:36 PM

visitor's guide to DALLAS

1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas has its own version of traffic rules....Hold on and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.

3. All directions start with, "Go down to Beltline"...which has no beginning and no end.

4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a "scenic drive."

5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way.

7. Arapaho Road can only be pronounced by a native. The same holds true for Wycliff Avenue, Worcola Street, Sul Ross and Routh Street.

8. Construction on I-30 is a way of life and form of entertainment.

9. All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort Worth!!"

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.

11. All old ladies with blue hair in pink Cadillacs have the right of way.

12. Story Road mysteriously changes names as you cross intersections. Unless you're on Storey Rd......

13. If asking directions in Irving, you must have knowledge of Spanish.

14. Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport has four terminal buildings connected by one tram that never works.

15. A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy.

16. The wrought iron on windows in and around Oak Cliff isn't ornamental.

17. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says,"Keep honking. I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone. Concealed weapons are a jealously guarded, God-given right.

18. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone...people are not waving when they go by.

19. The North Dallas Toll way is our daily version of NASCAR.

20. LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."

21. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.

22. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Live Stock show is going on.

23. If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round.

24. Amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, race tracks, airports, etc. are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:39 PM

creation of CANADA

On the sixth day God turned to the Archangel Gabriel and said "Today I am going to create a land called Canada. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty, it shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautifully sparkly lakes bountiful with carp and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, rivers stocked with salmon."

God continued "I shall make the land rich in oil so to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth."

"But Lord", asked Gabriel ",don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?"

"Not really", replied God ",just wait and see the neighbors I am going to give them."

gimo33 · 08-02-2006, 01:43 PM

A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin'...perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's now aboot time for a wee cuddle."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg."

The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again.

"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

The young man glanced down with a furrowed brow.

"Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time."

"Really?" said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

"Aye," said the lad, nodding.

The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.

Then he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"

p3rsian · 08-02-2006, 01:55 PM

i got one ...

WHATS THE DIFFRENCE BETWEEN A JEW AND A PIZZA ??

THE PIZZA DOESNT SCREAM IN THE OVEN...

SCtyger · 08-02-2006, 02:03 PM

Q: what do you call a black man with no hands.
A: honest

Manowar · 08-02-2006, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3M TA3

What do you call a bunch of white men chasing after a black man?

The PGA Tour

Alex · 08-02-2006, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manowar

Irnesto · 08-03-2006, 11:47 AM

I young boy goes to confession and says forgive me father for i have sined and the father goes what did you do son he says i fooled a jew and the father goes well son thats not a sin thats a miracle.

Irnesto · 08-03-2006, 11:51 AM

Q:What do you call two nigers in a sleeping bag
A: Twix

What do you call a school bus full of hindus
A: a rotten banana

What do you say if u are sitting in dark and your tv starts moving
A: Put down the tv hahahahahaha

What do you call 10 natives in a ditch
A: A sleep over

What do you cal 500 hindus running around the track
A: Indy 500

XLCowBoy · 08-03-2006, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by escorpio

A Negro, a Mexican and an Arab all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. Who wins?

Society.

This is KKK-level shit right here. lol.

08-02-2006, 12:52 PM	#53
Alex So Fucking Banned (YEA!!) Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 10,963	Dude why even talk to this terrorist. I wish he said that to an IDF soldier and walked away without any broken bone. __________________ Care about me? Who? Me! Who?

08-02-2006, 01:06 PM	#56
Donfoolio Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mars Posts: 963	Q: Why must dicks ruin a good joke thread with politics? A: Because they are dicks! Q: What is the definition of selfrighteousness? A: Ask any GFY member! Q: What is the definition of pompous? A: Ask any GFY member! I hate everyone equally, race, color, creed you all need a cock stuffed in the mouth to STFU! Too many political "opinions" here. http://www.politicalcrossfire.com/forum/index.php a much better place for discussion of 9/11, Hezbollah, China, Korea bla bla bla. Porn > Politics nuff said __________________ Promote SipSap escort search ICQ: 227853047

08-02-2006, 01:12 PM	#62
gimo33 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,599	back to the jokes An old jew is dying and is at his deathbed calling to his family. "Sarah, my wife... Are You Here ?", he asks. "I'm here my love", she replies. "Judith, My daugther... Are You Here ?", he asks. "I'm here father", she replies. "David, my son... Are You Here ?", he asks. "I'm here father", he replies. Then old Jew asks: "Then who in the hell is minding the store ?" __________________ Galleries that sells www.highendcreatives.com Avail of the $10 per gallery, promo!! Highend Designs at Low Price. Contact us now!

08-02-2006, 01:13 PM	#63
gimo33 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,599	An Irish man went to his first American baseball game. As the first batter made a hit, fans jumped up yelling, "RUN! RUN!" The Irish man jumped up as well yelling, "Run, laddie! Run laddie!" The next batter got up and made his hit. The fans again cheered, "RUN! RUN!" The Irish man jumped up yelling "Run laddie! Run laddie!" The third batter got up got ball 1...ball 2...ball 3...ball 4.....The umpire yelled "Take your base!" The batter jogged to the base. The Irish man jumped up an yelled "Run laddie! Run laddie!" Another fan looked at him and said, "He does not need to run, he has 4 balls!" The Irish man's jaw dropped, and turned and said, "Walk with pride, lad! Walk with pride!" __________________ Galleries that sells www.highendcreatives.com Avail of the $10 per gallery, promo!! Highend Designs at Low Price. Contact us now!

08-02-2006, 01:17 PM	#65
Alex So Fucking Banned (YEA!!) Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 10,963	Q: Whats wrong with 5 blacks driving a Cadillac off of a cliff? A: The car holds 6. Q: Why cant stevie wonder read? A: Cuz hes black Q: What does FUBU stand for? A: Farmers Used to Beat Us Q: What do you call a black man at the bottom of the ocean? A: Polution __________________ Care about me? Who? Me! Who?

08-02-2006, 12:55 PM	#54
Drake Hello world! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 12,508

08-02-2006, 01:12 PM	#61
Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE MOBILE PORN: IMOBILEPORN Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Tinseltown NL Posts: 16,502	what do you call a bunch of white guys rolling down a hill? avalanche what do you call a bunch of mexicans rolling down a hill? land slide

08-02-2006, 01:19 PM	#67
gimo33 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,599	A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large." Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows." The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?" The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?" __________________ Galleries that sells www.highendcreatives.com Avail of the $10 per gallery, promo!! Highend Designs at Low Price. Contact us now!

08-02-2006, 01:19 PM	#68
wdsguy Ryde or Die Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: California-Shanghai Posts: 19,568	thanks for the laugh.

08-02-2006, 01:19 PM	#69
escorpio I love to racism, bro! Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA! USA! USA! Posts: 23,023	I owe the thread a joke after my last post... What do you say to a black man on a bike? Stop thief! __________________ Unvaxxed, still alive.

08-02-2006, 01:20 PM	#70
gimo33 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,599	At a resort club in France, a romantic Frenchman spots an American lady tourist entering the dining section. He swiftly rushes to her assistance, with his usual charm and his obviously attractive dialect, "Bonjour, madamoiselle." "Bonjour!" She answers back, "Can you........?" And before she could finish her sentence, the Frenchman interrupts to say, "Anysing, yes I can, for you. Ma cherrie." He takes her hand, kisses her palm, licks her fingers romantically and then continues saying, "Just as beautiful and sweet as you are, your fingers are. What is this tasty lotion you use, ma cherrie? And if I may ask, what is this you wanted to be assisted in?" The lady (at that time very impressed) answered, "I've just been changing my baby's diaper's, he has been suffering from serious diarrhea. So, I just wanted to know where I could wash my hands." __________________ Galleries that sells www.highendcreatives.com Avail of the $10 per gallery, promo!! Highend Designs at Low Price. Contact us now!

08-02-2006, 01:22 PM	#72
gimo33 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,599	George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Bush," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!" "Well, Paddy," Bush replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "well, there's meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!" Bush paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Bush asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor." Bush sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke." "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to ya." Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!" Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring ya back." Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war." "I'm sorry to hear that," said Bush. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners." God Bless the Irish! __________________ Galleries that sells www.highendcreatives.com Avail of the $10 per gallery, promo!! Highend Designs at Low Price. Contact us now!

08-02-2006, 01:24 PM	#74
godisdead Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,213	A couple, both rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed." The doctor asked them why, after 9 children, they would choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read a recent article that 1 out of every 10 children being born in the United States was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish. __________________ $40 Flat Fee 70% Revshare YEAH THOSE ARE CRAZY PAYOUTS coming soon Crazy Payouts

08-02-2006, 01:25 PM	#76
gimo33 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,599	First grade class comes in from recess. Teacher asks Alice: "What did you do at recess?" Alice says, "I played in the sand box." Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie." She does and gets a cookie. Teacher asks Billy what he did at recess. Billy says, "I played with Alice in sand box." Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'Box' correctly on blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." Billy does, and gets a cookie. Teacher then asks Luis-Fernando Rodriguez what he did at recess. He says, "I tried to play with Alice and Billy, but they threw rocks at me." Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie." __________________ Galleries that sells www.highendcreatives.com Avail of the $10 per gallery, promo!! Highend Designs at Low Price. Contact us now!

08-02-2006, 01:26 PM	#78
gimo33 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,599	An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off. "What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant. "Nothing," shrugged the woman, " I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off." "Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback........" __________________ Galleries that sells www.highendcreatives.com Avail of the $10 per gallery, promo!! Highend Designs at Low Price. Contact us now!

08-02-2006, 01:29 PM	#82
gimo33 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,599	A man walked into a supermarket, asking to buy half a head of lettuce. The stock boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man was insistent: he did not need a whole head, only a half head. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter. The boy walked into the back room and said, "There's some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he finished speaking, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "--and this gentleman wants to buy the other half." The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way. Afterward, the manager said "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from, son?" "Texas, sir". "Oh really? Why did you leave Texas?" Asked the manager. The boy said, "Nothing but whores and ball players down there." "Hey!" Said the manager, "My wife is from Texas!!" "No kidding!" Says the boy. "What team did she play for?" __________________ Galleries that sells www.highendcreatives.com Avail of the $10 per gallery, promo!! Highend Designs at Low Price. Contact us now!

08-02-2006, 01:33 PM	#85
gimo33 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,599	An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, "I've got some bad news for you...you have the cancer and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month." Murphy, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There he saw his son who had been waiting. Murphy said, "Son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints." After three or four pints the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Murphy's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Murphy told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the bad...He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends "I've only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS." The friends gave Murphy their condolences and they had a couple more beers. After his friends left, Murphy's son leaned over and whispered his confusion, "Dad I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS?" Murphy said, "I am dying from cancer son, I just don't want any of them sleeping with your mother." __________________ Galleries that sells www.highendcreatives.com Avail of the $10 per gallery, promo!! Highend Designs at Low Price. Contact us now!

08-02-2006, 01:36 PM	#86
gimo33 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,599	visitor's guide to DALLAS 1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway. 2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas has its own version of traffic rules....Hold on and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that. 3. All directions start with, "Go down to Beltline"...which has no beginning and no end. 4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a "scenic drive." 5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. 6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way. 7. Arapaho Road can only be pronounced by a native. The same holds true for Wycliff Avenue, Worcola Street, Sul Ross and Routh Street. 8. Construction on I-30 is a way of life and form of entertainment. 9. All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort Worth!!" 10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. 11. All old ladies with blue hair in pink Cadillacs have the right of way. 12. Story Road mysteriously changes names as you cross intersections. Unless you're on Storey Rd...... 13. If asking directions in Irving, you must have knowledge of Spanish. 14. Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport has four terminal buildings connected by one tram that never works. 15. A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy. 16. The wrought iron on windows in and around Oak Cliff isn't ornamental. 17. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says,"Keep honking. I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone. Concealed weapons are a jealously guarded, God-given right. 18. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone...people are not waving when they go by. 19. The North Dallas Toll way is our daily version of NASCAR. 20. LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap." 21. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. 22. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Live Stock show is going on. 23. If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round. 24. Amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, race tracks, airports, etc. are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas. __________________ Galleries that sells www.highendcreatives.com Avail of the $10 per gallery, promo!! Highend Designs at Low Price. Contact us now!

08-02-2006, 01:39 PM	#87
gimo33 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,599	creation of CANADA On the sixth day God turned to the Archangel Gabriel and said "Today I am going to create a land called Canada. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty, it shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautifully sparkly lakes bountiful with carp and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, rivers stocked with salmon." God continued "I shall make the land rich in oil so to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth." "But Lord", asked Gabriel ",don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?" "Not really", replied God ",just wait and see the neighbors I am going to give them." __________________ Galleries that sells www.highendcreatives.com Avail of the $10 per gallery, promo!! Highend Designs at Low Price. Contact us now!

08-02-2006, 01:43 PM	#88
gimo33 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,599	A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin'...perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's now aboot time for a wee cuddle." The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg." The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man glanced down with a furrowed brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time." "Really?" said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad, nodding. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request. Then he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?" __________________ Galleries that sells www.highendcreatives.com Avail of the $10 per gallery, promo!! Highend Designs at Low Price. Contact us now!

08-02-2006, 01:55 PM	#89
p3rsian Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,050	i got one ... WHATS THE DIFFRENCE BETWEEN A JEW AND A PIZZA ?? THE PIZZA DOESNT SCREAM IN THE OVEN... __________________ boro en harfa chei

08-02-2006, 02:03 PM	#90
SCtyger Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 564	Q: what do you call a black man with no hands. A: honest __________________ http://www.silvercash.com/

08-03-2006, 11:47 AM	#93
Irnesto Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 62	I young boy goes to confession and says forgive me father for i have sined and the father goes what did you do son he says i fooled a jew and the father goes well son thats not a sin thats a miracle. __________________ Crazy Putas Deija Vu Girly Bus

08-03-2006, 11:51 AM	#94
Irnesto Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 62	Q:What do you call two nigers in a sleeping bag A: Twix What do you call a school bus full of hindus A: a rotten banana What do you say if u are sitting in dark and your tv starts moving A: Put down the tv hahahahahaha What do you call 10 natives in a ditch A: A sleep over What do you cal 500 hindus running around the track A: Indy 500 __________________ Crazy Putas Deija Vu Girly Bus