My Plan To Save America! - GoFuckYourself.com

xxxjay · 12-11-2006, 02:26 AM

I've done a lot driving around the Midwest when I was, and let me tell you, the farmers have PLENTY of room to work with. Most of this great nation's Midwest is NOTHING BUT GOD DAMNED FARMS.

While many square miles of farmland may only yield them a mere .13 cents per square acre quarterly, a decent titty bar is pulling around 100$ per minute (that's rounding down). We don't need LiveAid concerts to bail out these rednecks. It's business, just simple ass fucking business! Instead of leaving your sole source of income at the mercy of such intangible forces as droughts, locusts, and early frosts, why not move the whole operation indoors into skyscrapers, in protected environments, with crisp hydoponic lights for optimal growing conditions. It will surely beat the pants off speculating on the success of next year's okra harvest! Leave that commodities to the God Damned Amish. Do not fear technology ? revere it! We must replace this religious insanity! Get on your knees before electronics! God has done his work through nature in the Midwest for many a centuries! If farmers are pimping their children to make ends meet, it is only because GOD HAS FAILED YOU!

Now with all that being said, why not try this? Take the entire Midwest and turn it into one giant shoe show and move the farms to cities in high-rises! With all of the additional revenue that will be streaming into Hickville from liquor licenses, tourism, permits, and DUI arrests ? even the most right wing, uptight local government will turn a blind eye to all of this hedonism in lieu of ALL THAT CASH. Replace those two penny, one horse power buggies with million horse power, cash sucking, drunken, next day empty pocket guilt vortexes: TITTY BARS.

While we are at it, we can take the same technology that made strip clubs what they are today and apply these same principals to farming: Saline enhanced carrots, silicon augmented watermelons, asparagus surgically molded to perfection! It will certainly be a great time to be a cosmetic surgeon!

It will also be a much needed boon to one of this nation's most vital issues: HOMELAND SECURITY. See, if Al Queda decides to do a repeat of 9/11 and they decide to nail the Sears Towers, the only adverse effect would be a small dip in the US production of zucchini. A minute ago, you thought that I was on drugs for suggesting that we turn all of America's farmland into seedy strip bars! So what now? Am I making too much sense?

Soon, millions will be flocking to this nation's rural areas for conventions, our farmlands will have the tourism draw of a rustic Red Light district! The national farmlands will serve a much higher purpose than just a life support system for a bunch of corn! Let this nation's crop be bathed in the cobalt blue light of a radioactive sun.

Our resources are not infinite; we must make the best use of what we've got!

It's not like we can just invade anyone if we want their shit!

Hang on, let me get back with you on that one?

Jay www.xxxjay.com

sicone · 12-11-2006, 02:30 AM

Titty bars are a good thing, we have 3 within a 5 minute drive of my house

munki · 12-11-2006, 02:50 AM

I'm all for it...

Mpegmaster · 12-11-2006, 05:50 AM

You are the best Jayyyyyyyy

CheneyRumsfeld · 12-11-2006, 05:57 AM

think I'll wait for the Readers Digest consensed version to come out.

E$_manager · 12-11-2006, 06:52 AM

Good luck then!

Sveindt Beindt · 12-11-2006, 06:58 AM

Good luck

Klen · 12-11-2006, 07:49 AM

Heh America is already doomed no help for America hehe

Mr. Romance · 12-11-2006, 07:52 AM

Just add more romance as well

Mr. Romance

xxxjay · 12-11-2006, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sicone

Titty bars are a good thing, we have 3 within a 5 minute drive of my house

Lucky bastard. Titty bars in Cali suck. There would at least finally be a reason to go to Oklahoma (Oklahomo?) though.

who · 12-11-2006, 09:59 AM

You don't understand, all the big knockers you see in the titty bars are farm grown.

Sosa · 12-11-2006, 10:03 AM

haha good luck trying to get any farmer to move off their property that they have had in their family for over 100 years. No way they would do that ore want to live in a bigger city. They are out here in the middle of no where for a reason.

jixxi · 12-11-2006, 10:11 AM

I like it. Good luck!

CaptainHowdy · 12-11-2006, 10:16 AM

A'ight !!

reynold · 12-11-2006, 11:50 PM

I wish you all the success, Jay!

sicone · 12-11-2006, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxxjay

Lucky bastard. Titty bars in Cali suck. There would at least finally be a reason to go to Oklahoma (Oklahomo?) though.

I'm in Nor Cal... if you're ever up this way, I'm sure we can arrange to hit the titty bars

Tryme · 12-12-2006, 12:00 AM

Vote for Zango

rodney25 · 12-12-2006, 12:58 AM

Remember, we're just here to back you up, mate.

12-11-2006, 02:26 AM	#1
xxxjay Tube groupie. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: LoScandalous, CA Posts: 13,482	My Plan To Save America! I've done a lot driving around the Midwest when I was, and let me tell you, the farmers have PLENTY of room to work with. Most of this great nation's Midwest is NOTHING BUT GOD DAMNED FARMS. While many square miles of farmland may only yield them a mere .13 cents per square acre quarterly, a decent titty bar is pulling around 100$ per minute (that's rounding down). We don't need LiveAid concerts to bail out these rednecks. It's business, just simple ass fucking business! Instead of leaving your sole source of income at the mercy of such intangible forces as droughts, locusts, and early frosts, why not move the whole operation indoors into skyscrapers, in protected environments, with crisp hydoponic lights for optimal growing conditions. It will surely beat the pants off speculating on the success of next year's okra harvest! Leave that commodities to the God Damned Amish. Do not fear technology ? revere it! We must replace this religious insanity! Get on your knees before electronics! God has done his work through nature in the Midwest for many a centuries! If farmers are pimping their children to make ends meet, it is only because GOD HAS FAILED YOU! Now with all that being said, why not try this? Take the entire Midwest and turn it into one giant shoe show and move the farms to cities in high-rises! With all of the additional revenue that will be streaming into Hickville from liquor licenses, tourism, permits, and DUI arrests ? even the most right wing, uptight local government will turn a blind eye to all of this hedonism in lieu of ALL THAT CASH. Replace those two penny, one horse power buggies with million horse power, cash sucking, drunken, next day empty pocket guilt vortexes: TITTY BARS. While we are at it, we can take the same technology that made strip clubs what they are today and apply these same principals to farming: Saline enhanced carrots, silicon augmented watermelons, asparagus surgically molded to perfection! It will certainly be a great time to be a cosmetic surgeon! It will also be a much needed boon to one of this nation's most vital issues: HOMELAND SECURITY. See, if Al Queda decides to do a repeat of 9/11 and they decide to nail the Sears Towers, the only adverse effect would be a small dip in the US production of zucchini. A minute ago, you thought that I was on drugs for suggesting that we turn all of America's farmland into seedy strip bars! So what now? Am I making too much sense? Soon, millions will be flocking to this nation's rural areas for conventions, our farmlands will have the tourism draw of a rustic Red Light district! The national farmlands will serve a much higher purpose than just a life support system for a bunch of corn! Let this nation's crop be bathed in the cobalt blue light of a radioactive sun. Our resources are not infinite; we must make the best use of what we've got! It's not like we can just invade anyone if we want their shit! Hang on, let me get back with you on that one? Jay www.xxxjay.com __________________ http://donttellmehowtoruinmylife.com/ - http://www.jmdigitalmarketing.com/my...s-and-reviews/ - http://www.wouldyouhitit.org - http://shinyobjectreviews.com/

12-11-2006, 02:30 AM	#2
sicone Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Sac Posts: 18,453	Titty bars are a good thing, we have 3 within a 5 minute drive of my house __________________

12-11-2006, 02:50 AM	#3
munki Do Fun Shit. Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: OC Posts: 13,393	I'm all for it... __________________ “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” -Oscar Wilde

12-11-2006, 06:52 AM	#6
E$_manager Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: pink adult dreams Posts: 13,557	Good luck then! __________________ Enjoy more sales with EnjoyBucks! Homemade: Asian : Ebony : GFs : Voyeur : Nudist : Public : 3D

12-11-2006, 06:58 AM	#7
Sveindt Beindt Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Kopenhagen Denmark Posts: 1,853	Good luck __________________ Nylonfeet Bondage Vintage Magazine Pinup Teen

12-11-2006, 05:50 AM	#4
Mpegmaster Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 2,300	You are the best Jayyyyyyyy

12-11-2006, 05:57 AM	#5
CheneyRumsfeld Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 1,341	think I'll wait for the Readers Digest consensed version to come out.

12-11-2006, 07:49 AM	#8
Klen Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Little Vienna Posts: 32,235	Heh America is already doomed no help for America hehe

12-11-2006, 07:52 AM	#9
Mr. Romance The Face of Romance and the Symbol of Freedom Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The America's Posts: 7,821	Just add more romance as well Mr. Romance __________________ Free Leads Program now paying up to $6 Gerard-Director of Global Sales Sign up Here: CamStarCash Check out: FreeCamStars ICQ: 330 662 299 gerard at freecamstars . com

12-11-2006, 09:59 AM	#11
who So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: ICQ #23642053 Posts: 19,593	You don't understand, all the big knockers you see in the titty bars are farm grown.

12-11-2006, 10:03 AM	#12
Sosa In Tushy Land Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Nebraska Posts: 40,149	haha good luck trying to get any farmer to move off their property that they have had in their family for over 100 years. No way they would do that ore want to live in a bigger city. They are out here in the middle of no where for a reason.

12-11-2006, 10:11 AM	#13
jixxi Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 227	I like it. Good luck! __________________ Email : [email protected]

12-11-2006, 10:16 AM	#14
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,586	A'ight !! __________________ Sig Coming Soon

12-11-2006, 11:50 PM	#15
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	I wish you all the success, Jay!

12-12-2006, 12:00 AM	#17
Tryme Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 596	Vote for Zango

12-12-2006, 12:58 AM	#18
rodney25 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 7,090	Remember, we're just here to back you up, mate. __________________ AFFORDABLE Hosting -- Extreme Dependability -- FULL Service ICQ ME for DAMN GOOD HOSTING DEALS: 5380773