People And Their Drinks! - GoFuckYourself.com

Scott McD · 01-17-2007, 05:56 PM

A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer?s personality on what drinks they ordered?
Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:

IF WOMEN DRINK ...

BEER
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she?ll send YOU a drink.

WATER
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don?t.

WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you?re in.

CAPE VELVET
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait.......

IF MEN DRINK... (As always, very simple and clear cut.)

CIDER
He?s probably under-aged and wants to get laid.
CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER
He?s poor / student and wants to get laid.
CASTLE LAGER BEER
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
IMPORTED BEER
He?s old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Shandy
This guy is a smooth operator always gets laid.
GUINNESS
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
WATER
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid
WINE
He?s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.
VODKA OR BRANDY
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.
PORT
Thinks he?s sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.
WHISKY
He doesn?t give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
JACK DANIELS
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.
RUM OR TEQUILA
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.
BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC
He?s gay (blatantly) - don?t turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

I liked

Quote:

GUINNESS
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

Cyndalie · 01-17-2007, 05:58 PM

Yep, pretty close there!

ready lube · 01-17-2007, 05:59 PM

Quote:

WATER
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid

Jarmusch · 01-17-2007, 06:05 PM

Somehow this makes sense:

Quote:

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you?re in.

madawgz · 01-17-2007, 06:10 PM

thats jokes!

WarChild · 01-17-2007, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scott McD

RUM OR TEQUILA
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

Hahha pretty much bang on for me.

bareskin · 01-17-2007, 06:30 PM

funny shit and I'm sure pretty close to the truth

TSGlider · 01-17-2007, 06:32 PM

Fucking hilarious

reynold · 01-17-2007, 08:01 PM

Now I understand women better. :lol:

Spunky · 01-17-2007, 08:15 PM

Lol..I guess I can relate to the import beer quote..I always like women who like beer for some reason

shekinah · 01-17-2007, 08:37 PM

Thanks for all the info I got...I'm now enlightened..

Himuro · 01-17-2007, 08:42 PM

I like ladies with water bottles

sniperwolf · 01-17-2007, 10:04 PM

lmao.. awesome list..

Przemek · 01-18-2007, 02:52 AM

Great! Gotta remember it :D

Sexsitesurfer · 01-18-2007, 03:00 AM

A classic!

96ukssob · 01-18-2007, 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scott McD

A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer?s personality on what drinks they ordered?
Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:

IF WOMEN DRINK ...

SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait.......

HAHAHAHA

4Man · 01-18-2007, 04:12 AM

I think that all of those are right...

wyldworx · 01-18-2007, 04:17 AM

GUINNESS
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
that is priceless, and kinda true!

Ross · 01-18-2007, 05:25 AM

Shit... I'm gay!

01-17-2007, 05:58 PM	#2
Cyndalie Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Cherry Hill, NJ Posts: 3,615	Yep, pretty close there! __________________ Cyndalie Marketing Director StoriesTraffic.com

01-17-2007, 06:10 PM	#5
madawgz 8.8.8.8 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Noordermarkt Posts: 30,509	thats jokes! __________________ TAEMDLRMSKRJIXMRLSMRJ.

01-17-2007, 06:30 PM	#7
bareskin Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Pimpin in socal Posts: 619	funny shit and I'm sure pretty close to the truth __________________ Globat.com hosting company has shitty customer service skills :: please be advised:: Icq# 394599740

01-17-2007, 06:32 PM	#8
TSGlider Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 673	Fucking hilarious __________________ BaDoink skype: tsglider

01-17-2007, 08:15 PM	#10
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,928	Lol..I guess I can relate to the import beer quote..I always like women who like beer for some reason __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

01-17-2007, 08:01 PM	#9
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	Now I understand women better. :lol:

01-17-2007, 08:37 PM	#11
shekinah Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 8,452	Thanks for all the info I got...I'm now enlightened.. __________________ [Web Design \| Development \| Programming \| Content Writing ] ICQ: 238-890-469

01-17-2007, 08:42 PM	#12
Himuro Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: GO HABS GO!!! Posts: 934	I like ladies with water bottles

01-17-2007, 10:04 PM	#13
sniperwolf Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17,743	lmao.. awesome list.. __________________ ~Accepting design works~

01-18-2007, 02:52 AM	#14
Przemek Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 417	Great! Gotta remember it :D __________________ PinkMedia Cash www.fuckmypolishthroat.com - deep throat www.pigfights.com - female fights

01-18-2007, 03:00 AM	#15
Sexsitesurfer Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Porn land Posts: 3,157	A classic! __________________ Paul DDF Productions Marketing manager Skype: Marketing.DDF ICQ: 316302313 Cell: +36 30 732 6076 [email protected]

01-18-2007, 04:12 AM	#17
4Man Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 3,830	I think that all of those are right...

01-18-2007, 04:17 AM	#18
wyldworx So Fucking Banned Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: oz-trailer Posts: 5,144	GUINNESS The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another. that is priceless, and kinda true!

01-18-2007, 05:25 AM	#19
Ross Ik ben een aap Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Traffic Force Towers, Canada! Posts: 18,874	Shit... I'm gay!