Text for the warning page on a paysite - GoFuckYourself.com

biskoppen · 07-03-2007, 01:01 PM

I need some text for the warning page of my upcoming paysite..

Is there some standard text available anywhere to be grabbed?

Or can someone who I sent alot of sales give me permission to steal theirs?

Pipecrew · 07-03-2007, 01:05 PM

Everyone just steals ours, when they are really lazy they steal the html too.

CurrentlySober · 07-03-2007, 01:10 PM

The following is copy n pasted from a scrolling text box on a real website:

PLEASE SCROLL DOWN AND READ THE FOLLOWING TEXT IN FULL BEFORE CONTINUING....

HELLO !!!!

Just incase you missed the boat, or perhaps are from another planet or something, or perhaps speak a language where the words 'FUCK,' & 'FUCKMONSTER' have total different meanings.....

That hopefully by now, you are fully aware , that this is indeed, an Adult site !!!

So, that's why I now legally have to ask you, to please read the important Information contained below, before entering !

This is a site designed and intended SOLELY for ADULTS -- (Surprise surprise...)
Adults are people who are at least 18 years old -- Adults who are interested in,
and wish to have access to visual images, verbal descriptions, and / or audio sounds
of a sexually oriented, and quite frankly, (dare I say it....) an erotic nature.
The materials which are available within this site may well, and most probably will,
no, make that MOST DEFIANTLY WILL INCLUDE (at the very least)
graphic visual depictions (and descriptions) of nudity and sexual activities
which as such, should NOT be accessed or seen by anyone ever !
Actually what I really mean, is that it should NOT be accessed by anyone
who is younger than 21 years old, or who has no pubes, and / or who does
not wish to be exposed to such 'pervy wervy' materials.

By clicking "ENTER" below you are making the following 5 life altering,
(and irretraceable) statements:

Statement 1) I AM A PERVERT !!!

Statement 2) "Under penalty of perjury, I swear / affirm / whatever that,
(as of this exact moment), I am an adult, of at least 21 years of age."

Statement 3) "I promise that I will not permit any person(s) under 18 years of age
to have access to any of the materials contained within this site."

Statement 4) "I understand that when I gain access to this site,
I will be exposed to visual images, verbal descriptions and audio sounds
of a sexually oriented, frankly erotic nature,
Stuff which may / will / should / had bloody well better / include graphic
And visual depictions, plus descriptions of nudity and sexual activity.

Statement 5) I am in no way being forced or coerced into receiving this material
against my will.... Infact, I am voluntarily choosing to receive it, because I want
to view, read and / or hear the various materials which are available, for my own
personal enjoyment, information and / or *ahem* 'education' ???. . .

Infact...

Whilst we are all so damn busy, being so 'Brutally Fucking Honest"....

Infact....

I MAY EVEN CHOOSE TO MASTURBATE TOO THEM AS WELL !!!!

Yes.... Well.... There ???

How's THAT for 'Full Disclosure" ????

Finally....

My choice is a manifestation of my interest in sexual matters, which
is both healthy and normal and, which, in my experience, is generally shared by average
adults in my community. I am familiar with the standards in my community regarding
the acceptance of such sexually oriented materials, and the materials I expect to
encounter are within those standards. In my judgment, the average adult in my
community accepts the consumption of such materials by willing adults in
circumstances such as this which offer reasonable insulation from the materials for
minors and unwilling adults, and will not find such materials to appeal to a prurient
interest or to be patently offensive."

All Models are at least 18 years of age or older, at time of shooting...
(Or, as in the case of certain models... MUCH, MUCH older than 18 at the time of shooting...)

I certify by clicking below that I am at least 21 years of age that I wish to order
photos, videos, and / or materials for my own 'use' ??? in my home.
I realize by law that I may not copy, publish, resell or trade these materials,
said for private use. I also realize that I am not buying any copyrights
to these materials...

Also, (whilst we are on the subject anyway....) If I happen to think that I'm going to be
a clever cunt, and download your entire 80 Gigs plus worth of content,
onto my hard drive, thus causing you to incur unnecessary bandwidth charges....
That the truth of the matter is that... I am infact very much mistaken !

I have read the above statement, and whilst I consider it to be a civil bleeding liberty,
as well as being also hugely unjust.... That I do infact genuinely realize, that in the
overall spirit of things, and as in keeping with most of the day to day decisions which
I face in my everyday ADULT life.... I have no choice other than to agree with it.

SO.... I DO.

OK... So... You All Got That ????

Just incase you missed anything.... Here's a Quick Recap....
(But, This time.... Its In English....)

'Look, OK, I'm a big boy, I promise I wont show no-one who isn't, and I like
to see great big pairs of ladies tits...'

Phew ? Why didn't it just say that in the first place ????

BUT WAIT....
THERE'S STILL EVEN MORE ???

Don't worry... Its nearly over now... Not much more, I Promise !!!

In accordance with Federal Labeling and Record-Keeping Law (18 U.S.C. 2257),
the records required by federal law for SS Publishing and Entertainment, Inc.
website are kept in a little wooden box, under my bed, by the owner of
SS Publishing and Entertainment, Inc. and either are, or can be made available
at all reasonable times for examination, should a valid reason occur...

THAT'S IT !!! Hooray !!! Your Free To Enjoy This Site * * *

Congratulations !!!
NOTE: Double congratulations if your still interested, or that you are not now to old,
to want to enjoy it....

Thanks,

The Fuckmonster

* * *
Three red stars mean
'You are free to enjoy the site *AFTER*you have completed the following final task....
.
Simply Upload an AVI file, of yourself, at your mothers grave, clutching a stack of bibles,
stating clearly, (in your usual speaking voice) the following words....

"Momma, Momma.... I SWEAR THAT I'M AN ADULT AND ABLE TO ENTER AND ENJOY THIS SITE"...

NOTE: YOU MUST ALSO REMEMBER TO REPEAT THIS LINE BOTH CLEARLY, AND TO THE CAMERA, AT LEAST THREE TIMES...

Juilan · 07-03-2007, 03:02 PM

That was a long but most humorous read

biskoppen · 07-03-2007, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pipecrew

Everyone just steals ours, when they are really lazy they steal the html too.

Well, I sent you alot of sales, can I steal it too?

thehose · 07-03-2007, 03:15 PM

Use this:

Quote:

THERE'S EVIL PORNO on this SITE!

continue - omg!

Your welcome.

07-03-2007, 01:01 PM	#1
biskoppen Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Very small penis Posts: 5,809	Text for the warning page on a paysite I need some text for the warning page of my upcoming paysite.. Is there some standard text available anywhere to be grabbed? Or can someone who I sent alot of sales give me permission to steal theirs? __________________ Submit my videos to make bank, tons of 5 minute videos offered right here

07-03-2007, 01:10 PM	#3
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,491	The following is copy n pasted from a scrolling text box on a real website: PLEASE SCROLL DOWN AND READ THE FOLLOWING TEXT IN FULL BEFORE CONTINUING.... HELLO !!!! Just incase you missed the boat, or perhaps are from another planet or something, or perhaps speak a language where the words 'FUCK,' & 'FUCKMONSTER' have total different meanings..... That hopefully by now, you are fully aware , that this is indeed, an Adult site !!! So, that's why I now legally have to ask you, to please read the important Information contained below, before entering ! This is a site designed and intended SOLELY for ADULTS -- (Surprise surprise...) Adults are people who are at least 18 years old -- Adults who are interested in, and wish to have access to visual images, verbal descriptions, and / or audio sounds of a sexually oriented, and quite frankly, (dare I say it....) an erotic nature. The materials which are available within this site may well, and most probably will, no, make that MOST DEFIANTLY WILL INCLUDE (at the very least) graphic visual depictions (and descriptions) of nudity and sexual activities which as such, should NOT be accessed or seen by anyone ever ! Actually what I really mean, is that it should NOT be accessed by anyone who is younger than 21 years old, or who has no pubes, and / or who does not wish to be exposed to such 'pervy wervy' materials. By clicking "ENTER" below you are making the following 5 life altering, (and irretraceable) statements: Statement 1) I AM A PERVERT !!! Statement 2) "Under penalty of perjury, I swear / affirm / whatever that, (as of this exact moment), I am an adult, of at least 21 years of age." Statement 3) "I promise that I will not permit any person(s) under 18 years of age to have access to any of the materials contained within this site." Statement 4) "I understand that when I gain access to this site, I will be exposed to visual images, verbal descriptions and audio sounds of a sexually oriented, frankly erotic nature, Stuff which may / will / should / had bloody well better / include graphic And visual depictions, plus descriptions of nudity and sexual activity. Statement 5) I am in no way being forced or coerced into receiving this material against my will.... Infact, I am voluntarily choosing to receive it, because I want to view, read and / or hear the various materials which are available, for my own personal enjoyment, information and / or ahem 'education' ???. . . Infact... Whilst we are all so damn busy, being so 'Brutally Fucking Honest".... Infact.... I MAY EVEN CHOOSE TO MASTURBATE TOO THEM AS WELL !!!! Yes.... Well.... There ??? How's THAT for 'Full Disclosure" ???? Finally.... My choice is a manifestation of my interest in sexual matters, which is both healthy and normal and, which, in my experience, is generally shared by average adults in my community. I am familiar with the standards in my community regarding the acceptance of such sexually oriented materials, and the materials I expect to encounter are within those standards. In my judgment, the average adult in my community accepts the consumption of such materials by willing adults in circumstances such as this which offer reasonable insulation from the materials for minors and unwilling adults, and will not find such materials to appeal to a prurient interest or to be patently offensive." All Models are at least 18 years of age or older, at time of shooting... (Or, as in the case of certain models... MUCH, MUCH older than 18 at the time of shooting...) I certify by clicking below that I am at least 21 years of age that I wish to order photos, videos, and / or materials for my own 'use' ??? in my home. I realize by law that I may not copy, publish, resell or trade these materials, said for private use. I also realize that I am not buying any copyrights to these materials... Also, (whilst we are on the subject anyway....) If I happen to think that I'm going to be a clever cunt, and download your entire 80 Gigs plus worth of content, onto my hard drive, thus causing you to incur unnecessary bandwidth charges.... That the truth of the matter is that... I am infact very much mistaken ! I have read the above statement, and whilst I consider it to be a civil bleeding liberty, as well as being also hugely unjust.... That I do infact genuinely realize, that in the overall spirit of things, and as in keeping with most of the day to day decisions which I face in my everyday ADULT life.... I have no choice other than to agree with it. SO.... I DO. OK... So... You All Got That ???? Just incase you missed anything.... Here's a Quick Recap.... (But, This time.... Its In English....) 'Look, OK, I'm a big boy, I promise I wont show no-one who isn't, and I like to see great big pairs of ladies tits...' Phew ? Why didn't it just say that in the first place ???? BUT WAIT.... THERE'S STILL EVEN MORE ??? Don't worry... Its nearly over now... Not much more, I Promise !!! In accordance with Federal Labeling and Record-Keeping Law (18 U.S.C. 2257), the records required by federal law for SS Publishing and Entertainment, Inc. website are kept in a little wooden box, under my bed, by the owner of SS Publishing and Entertainment, Inc. and either are, or can be made available at all reasonable times for examination, should a valid reason occur... THAT'S IT !!! Hooray !!! Your Free To Enjoy This Site * * * Congratulations !!! NOTE: Double congratulations if your still interested, or that you are not now to old, to want to enjoy it.... Thanks, The Fuckmonster * * * Three red stars mean 'You are free to enjoy the site AFTERyou have completed the following final task.... . Simply Upload an AVI file, of yourself, at your mothers grave, clutching a stack of bibles, stating clearly, (in your usual speaking voice) the following words.... "Momma, Momma.... I SWEAR THAT I'M AN ADULT AND ABLE TO ENTER AND ENJOY THIS SITE"... NOTE: YOU MUST ALSO REMEMBER TO REPEAT THIS LINE BOTH CLEARLY, AND TO THE CAMERA, AT LEAST THREE TIMES... __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

07-03-2007, 03:02 PM	#4
Juilan Sultan of Swing Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: XXXodus Posts: 15,141	That was a long but most humorous read __________________ My Best Converting VOD Sponsor \|

07-03-2007, 01:05 PM	#2
Pipecrew Master of Gfy.com Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 14,885	Everyone just steals ours, when they are really lazy they steal the html too.