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Old 04-12-2008, 03:17 PM   #1
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Don't Fuck With God - 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

I Had to Share...

sample: "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
- Ezekiel 23: 19-20

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Old 04-12-2008, 03:51 PM   #2
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bump for comments
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Old 04-12-2008, 03:56 PM   #3
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The five most constipated people in the Bible:

1. Cain-who wasn't able.
2. King Solomon-who sat on the throne for forty years.
3. King David-who neither Heaven nor Earth could move.
4. Moses-who took two tablets and went up into the mountains.
5. Noah-who spent 40 days and 40 nights on the ark and passed nothing but water.
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Old 04-12-2008, 03:58 PM   #4
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Leviticus 11:6:

"The rabbit, though it chews the cud, does not have a split hoof; it
is unclean for you."



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Old 04-12-2008, 04:24 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MediaGuy View Post
I Had to Share...

sample: "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
- Ezekiel 23: 19-20

lusted as in......sucked?
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Old 04-12-2008, 04:25 PM   #6
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Leviticus 11:6:

"The rabbit, though it chews the cud, does not have a split hoof; it
is unclean for you."



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haha lol......good one
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Old 04-12-2008, 04:26 PM   #7
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I asked a bible thumper years ago about #9Moses and his killing eye for an eye. he said"the 10 comanadments were not written then
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Old 04-12-2008, 04:31 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude View Post
Leviticus 11:6:

"The rabbit, though it chews the cud, does not have a split hoof; it
is unclean for you."



ADG
...
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Old 04-12-2008, 05:54 PM   #9
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Fuck. Yeah.
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Old 04-12-2008, 06:58 PM   #10
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The Old Testament is straight up nasty. Flat out sex stories that most people would never let their kids read.
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Old 04-12-2008, 07:23 PM   #11
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Old 04-12-2008, 07:26 PM   #12
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I asked a bible thumper years ago about #9Moses and his killing eye for an eye. he said"the 10 comanadments were not written then
Most biblical scholars say that the times were different then. If they taught the turn the other cheek stuff the people would halve laughed at it. Actually eye for any eye was pretty revolutionary. Because if you stole from someone they would just kill you. Eye for and eye said if they steal then you only get to chop off their hand in effect.
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Old 04-12-2008, 08:48 PM   #13
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funny ass shit
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Old 04-12-2008, 09:33 PM   #14
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Have any of you ever visited the biblical sites of Sodom and Gomorrah?
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Old 04-12-2008, 09:36 PM   #15
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The five most constipated people in the Bible:

1. Cain-who wasn't able.
2. King Solomon-who sat on the throne for forty years.
3. King David-who neither Heaven nor Earth could move.
4. Moses-who took two tablets and went up into the mountains.
5. Noah-who spent 40 days and 40 nights on the ark and passed nothing but water.
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Old 04-12-2008, 09:37 PM   #16
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some interesting quotes
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Old 04-12-2008, 09:40 PM   #17
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Have any of you ever visited the biblical sites of Sodom and Gomorrah?


I have a friend that did Sodom and then caught Gomorrah...thank God for Tetracycline.

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Old 04-12-2008, 10:08 PM   #18
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The guys who wrote that have skills.


Some of the user comments on that page are priceless...
mjj3609: "you should have seen the face on my priest when I read big cock bastards quote!! I go to this bible study sessions and this quote really pissed people up jajaja LATERS!"

TulipOHare: "My personal favorite is Judges 4:14-22. The Israelites have kicked an army's ass nine ways to Tuesday and the army's general is fleeing the battlefield alone on foot. He runs so far he actually ends up in the Israelite settlement. A woman recognizes him and offers to hide him in her tent. She gives him milk to drink, and he falls asleep. Then (according to the NIV) she "picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died." Jewish women are hardcore. Don't say the Bible didn't warn you.

Befofbones: "HAHAHAHAHA! This is totally why I'm a religion major."

666omega666: "This article only proves that I am 100% Egyptian."

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Old 04-13-2008, 03:41 AM   #19
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What God does on his day off:



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