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Old 10-21-2008, 09:35 AM   #1
Stellar
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I Hate My Neighbor, What Can I Do To Him? (neighbor wars part 1)

Ok,

so I have an ignorant neighbor who happens to be black.

He drives an 18 wheeler, his dogs bark ALL day and ALL night (pitbulls and a terrier or something like that).

Yesterday I here his loud ass truck in my driveway, to only find that he had gotten his regular truck stuck in my yard and rutted the fuck out of it (two feet deep), pulled it out with his 18 wheeler and muddied up my driveway.

So what are some different things I can do to piss this guy off, I fucking hate him like I have never hated anyone in my life.

I will wait to the right moment and call the spca, because you guess it, he breeds pit bulls.

Shoot me some suggestions of what I can do to this fucking ignorant asshole

Oh yeah, and I got my boy coming over in his truck Friday to cut a big fucking donut in the middle of the assholes yard.
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Old 10-21-2008, 09:42 AM   #2
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18 wheeler huh? Do you own a knife because slashed tyres are a pain in the ass ;)



Not that I endorse illegal activities of course
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Old 10-21-2008, 09:43 AM   #3
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Dogs barking all the time, check your local animal control. That can get him a ticket.
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Old 10-21-2008, 09:50 AM   #4
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call animal control now. no need to wait.
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Old 10-21-2008, 09:56 AM   #5
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put some shit into a paperbag and put the bag in front of his door -
now burn down the bag - ring the bell-and run....................he wil jump on it for shure
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Old 10-21-2008, 09:59 AM   #6
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Check with your local council to see if parking an 18 wheeler in a residential (?) street is against their bylaws.
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:02 AM   #7
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Why not call the cops and tell them he has his rig illegally parked in a residential zone..

Why not take him to small claims court to sue him for damages to your yard if you actually own the property?

neighbor issues are always tough since most of the time you will be neighbors during and after any disputes.. best to just let it go if you can.. bring the guy a beer one day and just start talking with him.. thats worked for me before with stupid neighbors who I ended up being cool and on a mutual respect level with..
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:04 AM   #8
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Ok. I'll ask.

What did he say when you asked him about what he'd done to your lawn? Surely you went and complained to them?

BTW: should it matter that he is black for some reason?
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:04 AM   #9
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haha... "what can i do to him"


uhmm... yeah... this is obviously going to end well for all involved!


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Old 10-21-2008, 10:05 AM   #10
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Use his address to sign up for miscellaneous catalogs..i.e. Sex toys, bondage, gay mail order items,etc. It doesn't hurt him but it will piss him off.
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:05 AM   #11
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Ok. I'll ask.

What did he say when you asked him about what he'd done to your lawn? Surely you went and complained to them?

BTW: should it matter that he is black for some reason?
We can all assume he didn't do or say anything.
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:06 AM   #12
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Have you tried talking to him?
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:09 AM   #13
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Get two toothpicks
Put one into his driver's side lock
The other in the passengers side door-

Break both toothpicks inside lock
Take remainder of the broken toothpick out.

That fucker will be scratching his head when he can't figure out why his keys are not opening up his doors.

Causing him to be grounded for a day or so.

:-))

I am an evil prick aren't I?
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:11 AM   #14
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people tend to be a bit like gravity... for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. expect that for everything you do, its going to be paid back on you 2X... by a neighbor that you have to live next to, that you don't like, that doesn't like you, that doesn't respect you, that doesn't respect your property and that you already know is a selfish, self centered, inconsiderate, narcissistic prick.
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:16 AM   #15
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move out of the ghettos.
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:18 AM   #16
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:19 AM   #17
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move out of the ghettos.


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Old 10-21-2008, 10:20 AM   #18
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people tend to be a bit like gravity... for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. expect that for everything you do, its going to be paid back on you 2X... by a neighbor that you have to live next to, that you don't like, that doesn't like you, that doesn't respect you, that doesn't respect your property and that you already know is a selfish, self centered, inconsiderate, narcissistic prick.
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:21 AM   #19
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If you hate him that much -- why don't you try viscously attacking and murdering him, via blunt force trauma to the head. This method is a very popular amongst people who really hate other people, and will certainly solve many of the issues you have with him.
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:22 AM   #20
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Ok,

so I have an ignorant neighbor who happens to be black.
Problem number one. Sort out your racism. If you weren't racist, you would not have said this, since his irritations (18 wheeler + dog) are irrelevant of his skin colour.

Did you ask him to rectify your fucked up lawn and messed up drive?
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:23 AM   #21
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take a live cat
choke it until it passes out. dont kill it, just knock it out.
shave its entire underside until its hairless
apply 2 tubes of super glue to the cat
hold cat on his windsheild until the glue drys

leave him with the superglued live cat to the windsheild gag, fun for ages.
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:23 AM   #22
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If you hate him that much -- why don't you try viscously attacking and murdering him, via blunt force trauma to the head. This method is a very popular amongst people who really hate other people, and will certainly solve many of the issues you have with him.
Nah, his neighbour is black, so this would certainly result in certain death from retaliation by the hood.
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:26 AM   #23
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Sell your house to Mexicans.
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:14 AM   #24
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take a live cat
choke it until it passes out. dont kill it, just knock it out.
shave its entire underside until its hairless
apply 2 tubes of super glue to the cat
hold cat on his windsheild until the glue drys

leave him with the superglued live cat to the windsheild gag, fun for ages.


Please do this and post pics!
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:21 AM   #25
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Let the system loose on him, animal control, cops, enviromental safety control..
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:21 AM   #26
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Sell your house to Mexicans.
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:22 AM   #27
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Fuck his wife
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:25 AM   #28
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Get two toothpicks
Put one into his driver's side lock
The other in the passengers side door-

Break both toothpicks inside lock
Take remainder of the broken toothpick out.

That fucker will be scratching his head when he can't figure out why his keys are not opening up his doors.

Causing him to be grounded for a day or so.

:-))

I am an evil prick aren't I?
Heres a tip - just invest in a small bottle of super glue. Much more efficient...

Also - I would sneak out at night and hide some nails under his tires... im sure 18 new tires is pretty fucking expensive ...

not that I condone assholism
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:26 AM   #29
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i was gonna say that

If that fails, call the above.
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:27 AM   #30
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Sell your house to Mexicans.
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:34 AM   #31
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build a higher fence, or even a brick made one.
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:38 AM   #32
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Please do this and post pics!
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:40 AM   #33
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paint your house the same color as his. that will teach him to fuck with you
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:42 AM   #34
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go on cl and send gays to his house for incall service
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:45 AM   #35
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i would snap if some asshat thought he could park his 18 wheeler next to my house
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:46 AM   #36
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Nobody has suggested it yet because GFY is plagued with cowards but you might consider being a man and taking the situation head on by confronting your neighbor instead of sulking around trying to think of things you "can do" to him.
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Old 10-21-2008, 11:49 AM   #37
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bring the guy a beer one day and just start talking with him.. thats worked for me before with stupid neighbors who I ended up being cool and on a mutual respect level with..
communication can solve your problem 90% of the time. But be willing to see it from his perspective too.
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:05 PM   #38
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Nobody has suggested it yet because GFY is plagued with cowards but you might consider being a man and taking the situation head on by confronting your neighbor instead of sulking around trying to think of things you "can do" to him.
Agree! having friends around your neighbor is better than being a loner.
Someday you might needed help and those neighbor that you hated most might be the first to be there to give you a hand.

Be a man and confront your neighbor in a nice way, but if in return he still piss you off, I'm sure the law will find its way to teach him about your rights
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:08 PM   #39
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18 wheeler huh? Do you own a knife because slashed tyres are a pain in the ass ;)



Not that I endorse illegal activities of course
Tire "slashing" is so quaint.
You want to cut off the stems, not slash the tire. Much worse.

For the record, I do endorse illegal activities.
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:17 PM   #40
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If reasoning/talking has failed try this...

Have someone not involved write a threatening letter to Bush, McCain or Obama. Put it in an envelope, address it, put it in your neighbors mailbox and put the flag up.

Feds will be there in a few days...
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:21 PM   #41
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I'm not a racist, it's just a shame he happens to be black and I hate him because he is the only black person in the neighborhood.

The guy mows onto my side of the lawn, to try to make his lawn look bigger. (in turn i mow all the way up to his house for payback, everytime)

The guy keeps his dogs locked up all day and night and rarely cleans out their cage, and they bark all day and all night because of it.

We used to be friends for the first couple of years I lived here, then he stole from me and denied it, after which we got into a fight over it in the front yard where he slit my eyebrow open and i popped one of his teeth through his lip.

He stole from me and tried to deny it (steals from stores half-professionaly).

I gave his daughters like 20k in abercrombie clothing, as well as him.

Ever since the fight and the falling out, it has been war.

We do subtle things to piss each other off, by I have far more time and resources.

I wouldn't hate the guy, but he's an ignorant asshole who cannot keep to his own.

I'm going to get a friend to donut his yard up, and I am calling animal control tomorrow.. Just wondered if anyone had other suggestions.
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:28 PM   #42
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Nobody has suggested it yet because GFY is plagued with cowards but you might consider being a man and taking the situation head on by confronting your neighbor instead of sulking around trying to think of things you "can do" to him.
Actually, a couple of people suggested that.
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:40 PM   #43
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I'm going to get a friend to donut his yard up, and I am calling animal control tomorrow.. Just wondered if anyone had other suggestions.
this will just continue the cycle man. he'll do something in revenge then you'll do something back etc. eventually shit will get serious (happened in long beach a few weeks ago over noise for a week and dude got capped). here is a real suggestion, make-up with the dude and have a serious talk with him esp. since he was your friend at one point and just say you are both acting like children.

if you are going to retaliate though make it worth it and final (no killing). make it cycle ending you are just adding more fuel to the fire
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:45 PM   #44
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Actually, a couple of people suggested that.
My mistake. I later noticed at least Media did. So to him, and anyone else that did, you're rare amongst GFYers.
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:46 PM   #45
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Well if you've already tried talking with him, then this is the best prank I know:

Late at night board up his doors and windows and set the house on fire. Jump in your trunk, circle around the block and take out any fire hydrants that are close.

Should get you the last laugh.
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:53 PM   #46
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The guy mows onto my side of the lawn, to try to make his lawn look bigger. (in turn i mow all the way up to his house for payback, everytime)
He mows part of your lawn for you? Seems like a nice thing to do.
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Old 10-21-2008, 01:00 PM   #47
CheeseHead Nacho Burger
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Get his phone number, buy a portable cell phone, and call during the wee hours of the night, every single night. Breathe heavy into the phone for a few seconds, then hang up.
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Old 10-21-2008, 01:02 PM   #48
CheeseHead Nacho Burger
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Order a bunch of magazines in his name, but make sure they allow you to buy now, pay later. He'll have his mailbox full of magazines he didn't order, and will be billed accordingly.
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Old 10-21-2008, 01:05 PM   #49
BradM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WarChild View Post
Well if you've already tried talking with him, then this is the best prank I know:

Late at night board up his doors and windows and set the house on fire. Jump in your trunk, circle around the block and take out any fire hydrants that are close.

Should get you the last laugh.
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Old 10-21-2008, 01:17 PM   #50
cardinalvices
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Make up with him, he is your neighbour. Revenge won't do you no good man, he will definitely return you the favor and it will go on and on. Talk to him, find a solution, try to explain. And if diplomacy fails then open fire and at the very end sell your house to mexicans.
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