You're gonna love my nuts, watch this! - GoFuckYourself.com

PornMD · 01-22-2009, 02:57 PM

Not sure if this'll be more legendary than the ShamWow comercial just because it's blatantly obvious he's trying to repeat the success of it, but this has some brilliant quotes:

"You're gonna be in a great mood all day because you're gonna be slappin' your troubles away."

"You know you hate makin' salads - that's why you don't have any salad in ya diet!"

"Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life!"

"Now you're gonna have a nice...tuna...salad...look at this, you're gonna have an exciting life now!"

"You're gonna love my nuts, watch this!"

"One finger...if I can do it with one finger, you can do it with your whole hand - kids can do it!"

"You know what they charge for toppings at ice cream stores? Dolla per topping at ice cream stores!"

"The reason you're gonna slap away every day...iz cuz it's so easy to clean!"

"1...2...and...pops open like that like a butterfly to clean!"

"Life's hard enough as it is, you don't wanta cry anymore!"

"Guys, we're gonna make America skinny again, one slap at a time!"

"White cheese, yellow cheese"

"Tacos, fettucine, linguini, martini, bikini!"

"Just bang it, cheese comes right out"

...and of course...

"But if you CALL NOW...within the next 20 minutes because you know we can't do this all day..."

I don't know if it was he himself or someone else that came up with the concept of these infomercials, but they're fucking brilliant and smart. Idiots will be buying this shit and think their life's going to stop sucking. He may have made an epic fail of a movie but he's just fucking perfect for this shit.

Tom_PM · 01-22-2009, 02:59 PM

That product could be the worst thing ever, but the salesman is really quite excellent.

Now having said that... It's so goddamn annoying

DrChango · 01-22-2009, 03:01 PM

Just like that Jimmy guy with the beard that sells Oxy Clean...but check this shit out: https://youtube.com/watch?v=WGooQ8yYC0c

LatinCams · 01-22-2009, 03:02 PM

Well .... actually i think i need one

Brandon99 · 01-22-2009, 03:24 PM

You're gonna love my nuts! Tacos, fettucine, linguini, martini, bikini!

MetaMan · 01-22-2009, 03:42 PM

this guy is fucking classic I LOVE:

"Tacos, fettucine, linguini, martini, bikini!"
"Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life!"

LOLZ

CaptainHowdy · 01-22-2009, 03:46 PM

Hehehehehehe!

StuBradley · 01-22-2009, 03:48 PM

"Now you're gonna have a nice...tuna...salad...look at this, you're gonna have an exciting life now!"

Max - RiotDesign · 01-22-2009, 04:03 PM

@1:15 "What about fruit, put a mango" (puts a strawberry in)

haha this guy is a fucking genius!

Mohawk Steve · 01-22-2009, 04:08 PM

http://youshittinme.ytmnd.com/

PornMD · 01-22-2009, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve PP

http://youshittinme.ytmnd.com/

I had to find the source of "you shittin' me?"

LOL

PornMD · 01-22-2009, 04:48 PM

God, I feel like I've been living under a rock - I had been wondering why so many people still regarded Billy Mays higher than Vince Offer but now I know - thank you ESPN!:

Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life · 01-22-2009, 05:10 PM

You're gonna love my nuts...

Vince Offer is seriously the new wave of late night tv hucksters, the guy is FUCKING SKILLED. Shamwow is classic infomercial greatness. This is what Vince got his start doing, hucking kitchen wares at tradeshows. Back to his roots! He's the next Billy Mays!

MORE VINCE! MORE VINCE! MORE VINCE!

PornMD · 01-23-2009, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angry Jew Cat

You're gonna love my nuts...

Vince Offer is seriously the new wave of late night tv hucksters, the guy is FUCKING SKILLED. Shamwow is classic infomercial greatness. This is what Vince got his start doing, hucking kitchen wares at tradeshows. Back to his roots! He's the next Billy Mays!

MORE VINCE! MORE VINCE! MORE VINCE!

There's another guy that's decent that does the Swivel Sweeper and a few others, but has no personality compared to Vince or Billy. Vince is clearly long-time skilled at selling shit like this and Billy's obviously legendary for it in infomercials already. I'd love to see some budding rivalry between the two, lol.

bbm · 01-23-2009, 03:41 AM

very funny

Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life · 01-23-2009, 04:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornMD

There's another guy that's decent that does the Swivel Sweeper and a few others, but has no personality compared to Vince or Billy. Vince is clearly long-time skilled at selling shit like this and Billy's obviously legendary for it in infomercials already. I'd love to see some budding rivalry between the two, lol.

It's Vince's personality that sells the product. You've not seen the end of Vince believe me. He leaves the viewer feeling like they're an idiot if they're not buying the product. he makes everything look smooth and effortless, and has that brash attitude that just makes you feel like you're stupid for not already being on the bandwagon with whatever he's selling. He's an amazing salesman.

bobby666 · 01-23-2009, 04:32 AM

some great one here

PurrrsianPussyKat · 01-23-2009, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornMD

I don't know if it was he himself or someone else that came up with the concept of these infomercials, but they're fucking brilliant and smart. Idiots will be buying this shit and think their life's going to stop sucking. He may have made an epic fail of a movie but he's just fucking perfect for this shit.

My daughter and I saw this commercial the other day and we laughed so hard!

tranza · 01-23-2009, 06:52 AM

"You're gonna love my nuts"??? That's scaring...hahaha

Farang · 01-23-2009, 07:05 AM

heheeh

retardednewbie · 01-23-2009, 07:13 AM

hahaha slap chop.. best product ever

PornMD · 01-23-2009, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retardednewbie

hahaha slap chop.. best product ever

It sounds like some kickass karate or wrestling move, lol. Like all of a sudden some dudes dressed in veggie and fruit clothing and Vince is going to "Slap Chop" their asses down. "Oops, almost forgot the nuts!" (slap chops their nutsacks). "See how easy? A kid could do that! Stop living a boring life!"

Tom_PM · 01-23-2009, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angry Jew Cat

It's Vince's personality that sells the product. You've not seen the end of Vince believe me. He leaves the viewer feeling like they're an idiot if they're not buying the product. he makes everything look smooth and effortless, and has that brash attitude that just makes you feel like you're stupid for not already being on the bandwagon with whatever he's selling. He's an amazing salesman.

Definitely. I managed retail before and this guy is a person I'd fight to hire. Then I'd schedule him to work when I wasn't around because I wouldnt be able to handle it

GAMMA303 · 01-23-2009, 11:45 AM

I'm sold I'll take two!

Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life · 01-23-2009, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GAMMA303

I'm sold I'll take two!

I think the question is, who isn't sold?

Poindexterity · 01-23-2009, 06:49 PM

i don't know how many game heads we've got out there, but does anyone else notice a similarity?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=_eaE-_GDbmQ

Poindexterity · 01-23-2009, 06:54 PM

dammit, i can't embed videos

PornMD · 01-23-2009, 08:42 PM

Yea, just a slight resemblence, lol. BTW I bet you can embed vids, you just don't know how.

[ y o u t u b e ] the vid code - in this case _eaE-_GDbmQ [ / y o u t u b e ] ...all that without the spaces

SiMpLe · 01-23-2009, 08:46 PM

Vince is pure selling bliss - I want to hire him lol

Poindexterity · 01-23-2009, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornMD

Yea, just a slight resemblence, lol. BTW I bet you can embed vids, you just don't know how.

[ y o u t u b e ] the vid code - in this case _eaE-_GDbmQ [ / y o u t u b e ] ...all that without the spaces

thanks dude.

just watch the way he moves his arms when he talks.
both have headsets, and slight brooklyn accents.

PornMD · 01-23-2009, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poindexterity

thanks dude.

just watch the way he moves his arms when he talks.
both have headsets, and slight brooklyn accents.

Actually check this out - someone dubbed Vince's ShamWow over a Scout video, LOL!

pamon · 01-23-2009, 09:12 PM

bumped for the fact that the commercial was transcribed. Shamwow!!

qxm · 01-23-2009, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornMD

Actually check this out - someone dubbed Vince's ShamWow over a Scout video, LOL!

OHHH MFG!!! It is all so clear now.. its all finally coming together ..... for I was blind but NOW I see! .....

tony286 · 01-23-2009, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrChango

Just like that Jimmy guy with the beard that sells Oxy Clean...but check this shit out: https://youtube.com/watch?v=WGooQ8yYC0c

I think this guy is now his competition. For selling crap on tv guy

01-22-2009, 02:57 PM	#1
PornMD Mainstream Businessman Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: San Diego Posts: 9,291	You're gonna love my nuts, watch this! Not sure if this'll be more legendary than the ShamWow comercial just because it's blatantly obvious he's trying to repeat the success of it, but this has some brilliant quotes: "You're gonna be in a great mood all day because you're gonna be slappin' your troubles away." "You know you hate makin' salads - that's why you don't have any salad in ya diet!" "Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life!" "Now you're gonna have a nice...tuna...salad...look at this, you're gonna have an exciting life now!" "You're gonna love my nuts, watch this!" "One finger...if I can do it with one finger, you can do it with your whole hand - kids can do it!" "You know what they charge for toppings at ice cream stores? Dolla per topping at ice cream stores!" "The reason you're gonna slap away every day...iz cuz it's so easy to clean!" "1...2...and...pops open like that like a butterfly to clean!" "Life's hard enough as it is, you don't wanta cry anymore!" "Guys, we're gonna make America skinny again, one slap at a time!" "White cheese, yellow cheese" "Tacos, fettucine, linguini, martini, bikini!" "Just bang it, cheese comes right out" ...and of course... "But if you CALL NOW...within the next 20 minutes because you know we can't do this all day..." I don't know if it was he himself or someone else that came up with the concept of these infomercials, but they're fucking brilliant and smart. Idiots will be buying this shit and think their life's going to stop sucking. He may have made an epic fail of a movie but he's just fucking perfect for this shit. __________________ Want to crush it in mainstream with Facebook ads? Hit me up.

01-22-2009, 02:59 PM	#2
Tom_PM Porn Meister Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 16,443	That product could be the worst thing ever, but the salesman is really quite excellent. Now having said that... It's so goddamn annoying __________________ 43-922-863 Shut up and play your guitar.

01-22-2009, 03:01 PM	#3
DrChango Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: AZ Posts: 938	Just like that Jimmy guy with the beard that sells Oxy Clean...but check this shit out: https://youtube.com/watch?v=WGooQ8yYC0c __________________ Jacob Stiver Mobile Monkey Topbucks\|Pink Visual\|Plug In Feeds E-Mail: [email protected] ICQ#: 388847435

01-22-2009, 03:02 PM	#4
LatinCams Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Hot Horny Colombia Posts: 1,614	Well .... actually i think i need one __________________ We are looking for CAM Sites where our Colombian Models can work. Grupo Bedoya - www.GRUPO-BEDOYA.com Please let us know about your Business Skype - richard.grupobedoya

01-22-2009, 03:24 PM	#5
Brandon99 Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Location: What the deuce?! Posts: 2,214	You're gonna love my nuts! Tacos, fettucine, linguini, martini, bikini! __________________ Brandon E. Sales Manager Skype: dgbrandon99 [email protected]

01-22-2009, 03:42 PM	#6
MetaMan I AM WEB 2.0 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 28,682	this guy is fucking classic I LOVE: "Tacos, fettucine, linguini, martini, bikini!" "Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life!" LOLZ

01-22-2009, 03:46 PM	#7
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,583	Hehehehehehe! __________________ Sig Coming Soon

01-22-2009, 03:48 PM	#8
StuBradley Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 2,625	"Now you're gonna have a nice...tuna...salad...look at this, you're gonna have an exciting life now!" __________________ 51-566-514

01-22-2009, 04:03 PM	#9
Max - RiotDesign Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Buenos Aires Posts: 246	@1:15 "What about fruit, put a mango" (puts a strawberry in) haha this guy is a fucking genius! Last edited by Max - RiotDesign; 01-22-2009 at 04:06 PM..

01-22-2009, 04:08 PM	#10
Mohawk Steve (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: SoCal Posts: 3,222	http://youshittinme.ytmnd.com/ __________________ Adult FriendFinder Skype: mohawk_steve Cams.com

01-22-2009, 04:48 PM	#12
PornMD Mainstream Businessman Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: San Diego Posts: 9,291	God, I feel like I've been living under a rock - I had been wondering why so many people still regarded Billy Mays higher than Vince Offer but now I know - thank you ESPN!: __________________ Want to crush it in mainstream with Facebook ads? Hit me up.

01-22-2009, 05:10 PM	#13
Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life (felis madjewicus) Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: In Mom & Dad's Basement Posts: 20,368	You're gonna love my nuts... Vince Offer is seriously the new wave of late night tv hucksters, the guy is FUCKING SKILLED. Shamwow is classic infomercial greatness. This is what Vince got his start doing, hucking kitchen wares at tradeshows. Back to his roots! He's the next Billy Mays! MORE VINCE! MORE VINCE! MORE VINCE!

01-23-2009, 03:41 AM	#15
bbm So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 3,710	very funny

01-23-2009, 04:32 AM	#17
bobby666 boots are my religion Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Heart of europe Posts: 21,765	some great one here __________________

01-23-2009, 06:52 AM	#19
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	"You're gonna love my nuts"??? That's scaring...hahaha __________________ I'm just a newbie.

01-23-2009, 07:05 AM	#20
Farang one sick puppy Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Where the worst of the West meets the worst of the East Posts: 11,566	heheeh __________________ i sale uncensored chatbots

01-23-2009, 07:13 AM	#21
retardednewbie Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 191	hahaha slap chop.. best product ever

01-23-2009, 11:45 AM	#24
GAMMA303 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Sacramento Posts: 848	I'm sold I'll take two! __________________ PLAYBOY WEBMASTERS 2.0 We have the HOTTEST ALL AMERICAN Babes! GAMMA303 ICS/PLAYBOY - Graphic Designer PPLESCOV(at)PLAYBOY.COM ICQ: 437-310-280 WWW.IDGAMMA.COM

01-23-2009, 06:49 PM	#26
Poindexterity Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: America's butthole, TX Posts: 882	i don't know how many game heads we've got out there, but does anyone else notice a similarity? https://youtube.com/watch?v=_eaE-_GDbmQ

01-23-2009, 06:54 PM	#27
Poindexterity Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: America's butthole, TX Posts: 882	dammit, i can't embed videos

01-23-2009, 08:42 PM	#28
PornMD Mainstream Businessman Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: San Diego Posts: 9,291	Yea, just a slight resemblence, lol. BTW I bet you can embed vids, you just don't know how. [ y o u t u b e ] the vid code - in this case _eaE-_GDbmQ [ / y o u t u b e ] ...all that without the spaces __________________ Want to crush it in mainstream with Facebook ads? Hit me up.

01-23-2009, 08:46 PM	#29
SiMpLe Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Porn Central - California Posts: 3,221	Vince is pure selling bliss - I want to hire him lol __________________ Sean Holland Vice President OrbitalPay / Global Electronic Technology (GET) SKYPE: iam.sean ::: sholland at orbitalpay.com 888-775-1500

01-23-2009, 09:12 PM	#32
pamon Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 3,110	bumped for the fact that the commercial was transcribed. Shamwow!! __________________ Email: [email protected] Skype: davidamodt. / TG: Davidamodt US Adult Content & Porn Writer Project/Sites/Tubes/Reviews & More