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| Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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03-04-2009, 08:06 AM
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#1 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: HardTimesStudios.com
Posts: 694
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How to Avoid a Shark Attack
1: Don't swim in the ocean.
Ninety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally large bodies of water also known as oceans. The way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is to taste the water, which should be salty. 2: Listen for the music. In the event that you are foolish enough to swim in an ocean, listen carefully for the music, as demonstrated in the marvellous documentary film Jaws. All shark attacks are preceded by the "daah-da, daah-da" chords, which will gradually become more rapid as the shark gets closer. This is due to the Doppler Effect. 3: Swim with fat people. Try to surround yourself with more appetizing companions. If you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion with A-1 Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds. 4: Don't go into the water without a knife. This is not to defend yourself but to stab the person (a.k.a the decoy) closest to you in the case of a shark attack. Once you are sure the "decoy" is bleeding profusely.....swim for your freakin' life. And finally... 5: Don't panic. In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This really wont help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling and can really spoil a wonderful day out. Remember, it's not always about you!
__________________
 ROY THE CONTENT GUY - ICQ 588-051 - 
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03-04-2009, 08:08 AM
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#2 |
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Etology.com
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Hollywood CA
Posts: 18,386
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Its ok he will save you
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03-04-2009, 08:08 AM
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#3 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Kopenhagen Denmark
Posts: 1,853
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Lol
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03-04-2009, 08:23 AM
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#5 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,374
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I live 30 mins from the shark bite capitol of the world and surf there all the time.
I spend time in the Bahamas and see sharks while snorkeling on the reefs or swimming along the trough between the sand and the reef we surf on. I ain't afraid of no stinkin sharks |
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03-04-2009, 08:26 AM
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#6 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,308
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5: Don't panic.
In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This really wont help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling and can really spoil a wonderful day out. Remember, it's not always about you! LMAO! |
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03-04-2009, 08:31 AM
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#7 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 23,400
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Don't piss off the female sharks...
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i like waffles |
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03-04-2009, 08:36 AM
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#8 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 17,513
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cliff notes
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03-04-2009, 08:40 AM
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#9 |
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Ik ben een aap
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Traffic Force Towers, Canada!
Posts: 18,874
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My biggest fear is being attacked by a Shark. I don't go in the Sea very often. On vacation I stay away from the Sea.
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03-04-2009, 10:51 AM
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#10 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: World
Posts: 31,027
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Hehe thats cool
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