NEWS: Cost Of Living Now Outweighs Benefits - GoFuckYourself.com

Voodoo · 04-15-2009, 08:17 AM

WASHINGTON, DC?A report released Monday by the Federal Consumer Quality-Of-Life Control Board indicates that the cost of living now outstrips life's benefits for many Americans.

"This is sobering news," said study director Jack Farness. "For the first time, we have statistical evidence of what we've suspected for the past 40 years: Life really isn't worth living."

To arrive at their conclusions, study directors first identified the average yearly costs and benefits of life. Tangible benefits such as median income ($43,000) were weighed against such tangible costs as home-ownership ($18,000). Next, scientists assigned a financial value to intangibles such as finding inner peace ($15,000), establishing emotional closeness with family members ($3,000), and brief moments of joy ($5 each). Taken together, the study results indicate that "it is unwise to go on living."

[ MORE ]

munki · 04-15-2009, 08:19 AM

Instant crassic

Fletch XXX · 04-15-2009, 08:19 AM

[QUOTE=Voodoo;15746628] home-ownership ($18,000). [\QUOTE]

homes for 18k???

they forgot quite a few zeroes

nvrmind re-read it, i guess thats yearly...

Carmine Raguso · 04-15-2009, 08:20 AM

This is a major reason while people commit suicide in the country. Mark my words, the suicide rate is going to go through the roof even more than it already has. It really is tough out there for the average Joe.

What a fucking shame.

Carmine Raguso · 04-15-2009, 08:21 AM

[QUOTE=Fletch XXX;15746636]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Voodoo

home-ownership ($18,000). [\QUOTE]

homes for 18k???

they forgot quite a few zeroes

nvrmind re-read it, i guess thats yearly...

I think they mean yearly dude... and I agree, the number is still low in my book, but maybe when factoring in poor to rich this is a median yearly mortgage payment sum?

Fletch XXX · 04-15-2009, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carmine Raguso

I think they mean yearly dude... and I agree, the number is still low in my book, but maybe when factoring in poor to rich this is a median yearly mortgage payment sum?

yeah i caught it after i started typing post...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fletch XXX

nvrmind re-read it, i guess thats yearly...

rowan · 04-15-2009, 09:47 AM

Uhh... before discussing the estimates in great detail perhaps you guys should check the domain it's posted on.

The Ghost · 04-15-2009, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Voodoo

WASHINGTON, DC?A report released Monday by the Federal Consumer Quality-Of-Life Control Board indicates that the cost of living now outstrips life's benefits for many Americans.

"This is sobering news," said study director Jack Farness. "For the first time, we have statistical evidence of what we've suspected for the past 40 years: Life really isn't worth living."

To arrive at their conclusions, study directors first identified the average yearly costs and benefits of life. Tangible benefits such as median income ($43,000) were weighed against such tangible costs as home-ownership ($18,000). Next, scientists assigned a financial value to intangibles such as finding inner peace ($15,000), establishing emotional closeness with family members ($3,000), and brief moments of joy ($5 each). Taken together, the study results indicate that "it is unwise to go on living."

[ MORE ]

Awesome

DaddyHalbucks · 04-15-2009, 09:52 AM

99% of our problems are caused by big government, especially Congress, and the new master of the socialist plantation.

Deesnuts · 04-15-2009, 11:45 AM

the truth comes out

Carmine Raguso · 04-15-2009, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rowan

Uhh... before discussing the estimates in great detail perhaps you guys should check the domain it's posted on.

pwnt.......

Ozarkz · 04-15-2009, 12:10 PM

*cough*The Onion*cough*

PornNewz · 04-15-2009, 12:16 PM

Fuck, I just pissed myself laughing after reading the whole article

God bless The ONION!!!

PornNewz · 04-15-2009, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carmine Raguso

This is a major reason while people commit suicide in the country. Mark my words, the suicide rate is going to go through the roof even more than it already has. It really is tough out there for the average Joe.

What a fucking shame.

missipissi · 04-15-2009, 12:23 PM

Before anyone gets too worked up....

ultimatebbwdotcom · 04-15-2009, 12:30 PM

"The fact is, the supply of Americans greatly outstrips demand," said Evan Alvi of the Portland-based Maynard Institute.

Gotta love the Onion

Vicious_B · 04-15-2009, 12:46 PM

My favorite part

Quote:

The average citizen's lousy, smelly, uncomfortable daily-transportation costs rose 2.1 percent in January," Derek Capeletti of Wells Fargo Capital Management said. "Clothing costs were up 2.3 percent, reflecting an increased need for the pleated khakis, sensible sweater-sets, and solid ties we have to wear to our awful fucking jobs. And grocery expenses were up almost 4 percent, reflecting the difficulty that light-beer, microwave-burrito, and rotisserie-chicken makers have faced in meeting the needs of a depressed economy and citizenry."

woj · 04-15-2009, 12:54 PM

charlie3273 · 04-15-2009, 12:59 PM

Bump the onion

$5 submissions · 04-15-2009, 01:01 PM

The onion rules. Check out their "news" videos too. Better production quality than many local real news channels.

04-15-2009, 08:17 AM	#1
Voodoo ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 10,592	NEWS: Cost Of Living Now Outweighs Benefits WASHINGTON, DC?A report released Monday by the Federal Consumer Quality-Of-Life Control Board indicates that the cost of living now outstrips life's benefits for many Americans. "This is sobering news," said study director Jack Farness. "For the first time, we have statistical evidence of what we've suspected for the past 40 years: Life really isn't worth living." To arrive at their conclusions, study directors first identified the average yearly costs and benefits of life. Tangible benefits such as median income ($43,000) were weighed against such tangible costs as home-ownership ($18,000). Next, scientists assigned a financial value to intangibles such as finding inner peace ($15,000), establishing emotional closeness with family members ($3,000), and brief moments of joy ($5 each). Taken together, the study results indicate that "it is unwise to go on living." [ MORE ] __________________ "I'm selflessly supporting the common good, but only coincidentally looking out for No.1."

04-15-2009, 08:19 AM	#2
munki Do Fun Shit. Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: OC Posts: 13,393	Instant crassic __________________ “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” -Oscar Wilde

04-15-2009, 08:19 AM	#3
Fletch XXX GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: that 504 Posts: 60,840	[QUOTE=Voodoo;15746628] home-ownership ($18,000). [\QUOTE] homes for 18k??? they forgot quite a few zeroes nvrmind re-read it, i guess thats yearly... __________________ Want an Android App for your tube, membership, or free site? Need banners or promo material? Hit us up (ICQ Fletch: 148841377) or email me fletchxxx at gmail.com - recent work - About me

04-15-2009, 09:52 AM	#9
DaddyHalbucks A freakin' legend! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada USA Posts: 18,975	99% of our problems are caused by big government, especially Congress, and the new master of the socialist plantation. __________________ Boner Money

04-15-2009, 11:45 AM	#10
Deesnuts Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 2,792	the truth comes out __________________

04-15-2009, 08:20 AM	#4
Carmine Raguso So Fucking Banned Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Prescott, AZ Posts: 2,158	This is a major reason while people commit suicide in the country. Mark my words, the suicide rate is going to go through the roof even more than it already has. It really is tough out there for the average Joe. What a fucking shame.

04-15-2009, 09:47 AM	#7
rowan Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 17,393	Uhh... before discussing the estimates in great detail perhaps you guys should check the domain it's posted on.

04-15-2009, 12:10 PM	#12
Ozarkz So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 2,377	coughThe Onioncough

04-15-2009, 12:16 PM	#13
PornNewz Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 851	Fuck, I just pissed myself laughing after reading the whole article God bless The ONION!!! __________________ Pornnewz.com PR Round up, No one is safe!

04-15-2009, 12:23 PM	#15
missipissi Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: ICQ 18546111 Posts: 205	Before anyone gets too worked up.... __________________ Paid Search Marketing & Email Campaign Management \| The Original SEO Web Host Missi's XBiz Profile \| ICQ: 18546111 \| AIM: pissi missi \| skype: missimaynard

04-15-2009, 12:30 PM	#16
ultimatebbwdotcom Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 591	"The fact is, the supply of Americans greatly outstrips demand," said Evan Alvi of the Portland-based Maynard Institute. Gotta love the Onion __________________ Ultimatebbw.com Dangerouscurvesdesign.com

04-15-2009, 12:54 PM	#18
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	__________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

04-15-2009, 12:59 PM	#19
charlie3273 Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: reno,nv sometimes Posts: 376	Bump the onion __________________ Super Slutty That is my website of many I have.

04-15-2009, 01:01 PM	#20
$5 submissions I help you SUCCEED Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Pearl of the Orient Seas Posts: 32,195	The onion rules. Check out their "news" videos too. Better production quality than many local real news channels. __________________ Need a NON-ADULT income stream? We build your YOUTUBE CHANNEL for only $20 per video! For Hire: $3/hour or $400 per month Marketing Specialist Virtual Assistants