Recieved this as a cover letter, funny shit

[scuba steve]

got this over the weekend. gotta give him credit for having balls and honesty. ps is my favorite part


Well, its about damn time. I could use a good job.
So look, I'm not gonna waste time talking about CV's or resumes or where I went to University.
My name is Nick. Right now I'm in New Zealand. I was born in the USA, and for the past few years have been hitching around the world, working as a chef to pay my way. Been working cash in hand jobs, cooking at various restaurants. So if you guys like to eat, I'll be nice to have around cause I'm one hell of a chef with knowledge of a lot of different styles of food.
So if I'm gonna work with y'all we gotta get a few things straight up front. First off, no drug tests. Seriously, don't bother. I smoke weed...constantly. At least when I can get it. And I'll probably be smoking on the job, depending on which of the positions I get hired for. I mean, I'm not so stupid as to think I can do ANYTHING while I'm high, so if need be I'll sober up. But lets try and keep that to a minimum, huh?
Another thing...actually that's about it. You know I'm pretty much down for anything. I been sleeping in some damn strange places, drinking some strange shit, and existing on just about no food for the past two years, so I'm pretty damn sure I can handle anything you boys wanna include in my job description.
As far as specific positions, I am probably best suited for anything reliant on me talking to people, or even bullshitting if nesessary. I got the gift of gab. No, not the gift of persuasive writing. Which is probably what you, the douchebag reading this, are chuckling to yourself about right now. But I'm good at talking to folks.
Oh yea, seeing as I'm flat fucking broke right now, why don't you boys fly your asses down here and we can go round New Zealand getting used to each other before we all fly back to the states. You're buying the plane tickets. If not, I guess I'm cool to hop on a plane back to the states. But it's really a big fuckin inconvenience, I was gonna wander around for a few more years. Go hit up Asia again, see South America. But, seeing as how its for Bangbros I guess I can cut this shindig short. So, either email me or call me at xxxxx. You may need to put a 0 in between the 64 and the rest. I'm not sure, after all I did not graduate University, and I never called New Zealand from the states.
Oh, and try and have some buds for when we meet up. That includes both liquid and smokeable kind. I find an inebriated state is the best in which to make new introductions, and as I said I am broke so the tabs gonna be on your side for a little while.
Well, I look forward to working with y'all and figure I'll hear from ya sometime. Oh, and I thoroughly enjoy the work you boys do.
Nick

P.S. Attached are some pictures of me, just to put a face with this letter. One was in Israel, no I'm not Jewish. The other was in Switzerland on some train off my head on acid going to some rave on a mountaintop. You guys party right?

[borked]

funny stuff! But posting the private phone # isn't cool....

edit nm - I see the edit ;)

[bronco67]

So this guy makes his own rules, but he ask to ask someone else for a job?