20 Things that never happen on Star Trek... - GoFuckYourself.com

Voodoo · 05-15-2009, 02:11 AM

20 Things that never happen on Star Trek

1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.

2. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right.

3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly.

4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform wearing a funny hat.

5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay.

6.The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.

7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.

8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.

9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.

10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.

11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some sweeties.

12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems.

13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.

14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century.

15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.

16. Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

17. The warp engines start playing up a bit, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.

18. Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.

19. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him.

20. Most things that are new or in some way unexpected.

CunningStunt · 05-15-2009, 02:28 AM

Trekky nerds are funny.

beerptrol · 05-15-2009, 03:12 AM

You forgot one

1. William Shatner(Kirk) gave an Emmy award worthy acting performance

DraX · 05-15-2009, 03:22 AM

Entertaining, thanks for posting.

Trekkies are cool!

seeandsee · 05-15-2009, 03:52 AM

i like Treks

StaceyJo · 05-15-2009, 05:21 AM

I still like to watch it.

Voodoo · 05-15-2009, 05:27 AM

Anyone ever been to a Star Trek convention?

closer · 05-15-2009, 05:31 AM

Switch to auxiliary power

StuartD · 05-15-2009, 05:38 AM

How about

21: Someone excuses themself to use the washroom.

Vicious_B · 05-15-2009, 05:48 AM

Quote:

4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform wearing a funny hat.

This is the funniest one by far!

TeenCat · 05-15-2009, 05:52 AM

21. TeenCat never presented there his new shower.

John-ACWM · 05-15-2009, 11:50 AM

That was fun.Good job

Deej · 05-15-2009, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TeenCat

21. TeenCat never presented there his new shower.

dude seriously?

do you have a down syndrome chimpanzee posting for you?

bushwacker · 05-15-2009, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TeenCat

21. TeenCat never presented there his new shower.

CrkMStanz · 05-15-2009, 01:06 PM

heh

all of these things happened continuously, except for whatever it was that teencat said (wtf did he/she say anyways...)

they just didn't make episodes out of them, cause that would be ummmm boring

i r, and always haz bin, trekkie

StuartD · 05-15-2009, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deej

dude seriously?

do you have a down syndrome chimpanzee posting for you?

Hey, that's not very fair to down syndrome chimpanzees.
They would make much more sense than that.

RevTKS69 · 05-15-2009, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StuartD

Hey, that's not very fair to down syndrome chimpanzees.
They would make much more sense than that.

Plus, they are currently busy randomly typing letters on keyboards on their way to writing the next Shakespeare play...

Rochard · 05-15-2009, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Voodoo

Anyone ever been to a Star Trek convention?

My wife has. In full uniform I might add.

fuzebox · 05-15-2009, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Voodoo

Anyone ever been to a Star Trek convention?

I went to one when I was 12, I was a big TNG fan then... It was mostly just overpriced merchandise and stuff, although the standup comedy from the guy who plays Quark was kind of funny.

TidalWave · 05-15-2009, 04:35 PM

Obviously the show only revolves around the exciting portions of The Enterprises voyage. Day to day life still occurs, but the show only centers around the adverture worthy situations. Only the most dedicated viewer would be interested in day to day life of the lifeforms living and working on The Enterprise.

After Shock Media · 05-15-2009, 04:51 PM

22. They will encounter living intelligent puddles of jello in the future, yet not a single Mexican.
23. Kirk needing to be treated for some unknown or just plain deadly space s.t.d.
24. To boldly go where no man has gone before, yet it is already mapped, named, and well known.

mikeyddddd · 05-15-2009, 05:43 PM

$5 submissions · 05-15-2009, 05:57 PM

Finally got around to see the latest Star Trek movie. One word: IMPRESSIVE. Great writing, great effects, excellent acting. Brings new energy to a franchise that was, frankly, getting tired. Good stuff.

voa · 05-15-2009, 06:45 PM

Hah that is some interesting list

GregE · 05-15-2009, 06:56 PM

16. Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

bluemoney · 05-15-2009, 07:03 PM

"Im a Doctor damn it not a pornographer"!

TeenCat · 05-15-2009, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deej

dude seriously?

do you have a down syndrome chimpanzee posting for you?

do i need a syndrome to be another?

05-15-2009, 02:11 AM	#1
Voodoo ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Porn Valley, CA Posts: 10,590	20 Things that never happen on Star Trek... 20 Things that never happen on Star Trek 1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before. 2. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right. 3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly. 4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform wearing a funny hat. 5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay. 6.The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive. 7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident. 8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads. 9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff. 10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial. 11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some sweeties. 12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems. 13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction. 14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century. 15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode. 16. Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious. 17. The warp engines start playing up a bit, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher. 18. Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change. 19. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him. 20. Most things that are new or in some way unexpected. __________________ "I'm selflessly supporting the common good, but only coincidentally looking out for No.1."

05-15-2009, 03:12 AM	#3
beerptrol Confirmed Asshole Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Half way between sobriety and fubar. Posts: 12,722	You forgot one 1. William Shatner(Kirk) gave an Emmy award worthy acting performance __________________ “If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.” -- Ulysses S. Grant

05-15-2009, 03:52 AM	#5
seeandsee Check SIG! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe (Skype: gojkoas) Posts: 50,945	i like Treks __________________ BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year Contact here

05-15-2009, 05:21 AM	#6
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05-15-2009, 05:27 AM	#7
Voodoo ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Porn Valley, CA Posts: 10,590	Anyone ever been to a Star Trek convention? __________________ "I'm selflessly supporting the common good, but only coincidentally looking out for No.1."

05-15-2009, 02:28 AM	#2
CunningStunt Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 5,594	Trekky nerds are funny.

05-15-2009, 03:22 AM	#4
DraX Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In wonderland.. Posts: 7,147	Entertaining, thanks for posting. Trekkies are cool!

05-15-2009, 05:31 AM	#8
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05-15-2009, 05:38 AM	#9
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05-15-2009, 05:52 AM	#11
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05-15-2009, 11:50 AM	#12
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05-15-2009, 01:06 PM	#15
CrkMStanz Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 517	heh all of these things happened continuously, except for whatever it was that teencat said (wtf did he/she say anyways...) they just didn't make episodes out of them, cause that would be ummmm boring i r, and always haz bin, trekkie __________________ believe me - without free porn, just as many people will seek porn out on the Internet, and many more will pay if there is no free alternative, its not like sex is a fad - it can be milked much like any renewable resource - long term i wasn't born with enough middle fingers - Marilyn Manson

05-15-2009, 04:35 PM	#20
TidalWave Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,706	Obviously the show only revolves around the exciting portions of The Enterprises voyage. Day to day life still occurs, but the show only centers around the adverture worthy situations. Only the most dedicated viewer would be interested in day to day life of the lifeforms living and working on The Enterprise. __________________ www.SwiftNode.com

05-15-2009, 04:51 PM	#21
After Shock Media It's coming look busy Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn". Posts: 35,299	22. They will encounter living intelligent puddles of jello in the future, yet not a single Mexican. 23. Kirk needing to be treated for some unknown or just plain deadly space s.t.d. 24. To boldly go where no man has gone before, yet it is already mapped, named, and well known. __________________ [email protected] ICQ:135982156 AIM: Aftershockmed1a MSN: [email protected]

05-15-2009, 05:43 PM	#22
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05-15-2009, 05:57 PM	#23
$5 submissions I help you SUCCEED Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Pearl of the Orient Seas Posts: 32,195	Finally got around to see the latest Star Trek movie. One word: IMPRESSIVE. Great writing, great effects, excellent acting. Brings new energy to a franchise that was, frankly, getting tired. Good stuff. __________________ Need a NON-ADULT income stream? We build your YOUTUBE CHANNEL for only $20 per video! For Hire: $3/hour or $400 per month Marketing Specialist Virtual Assistants

05-15-2009, 06:45 PM	#24
voa Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 16,532	Hah that is some interesting list

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