Little Known Facts About Samuel L Jackson - GoFuckYourself.com

wootpr0n · 07-07-2009, 12:50 AM

SAMUEL L. MOTHAFUCKIN' JACKSON (BORN JANUARY THIRTY-FIRST, NINETEEN-FITY-EIGHT), ALSO KNOWN TO HIS ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS AS BAD MUTHAFUCKA, IS A SHARK EATING, SNAKE HATING, LITTLE-KNOWN CULT CANADIAN MOTHERFUCKER AND PRESIDENT OF MOTHERFUCKING ANTARCTICA!!!

WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S THE ONLY CONTINENT WITHOUT ANY MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES??? I'M SORRY, DID I BREAK YOUR CONCENTRATION??? WELL ALLOW ME TO RETORT!!! IT'S BECAUSE HE'S THE PRESIDENT OF MOTHERFUCKING ANTARCTICA. BITCH!!!

HIS TALENT AND SKILL AS A MOTHERFUCKING ACTOR CAN BE SEEN IN HOW EFFECTIVELY HE PLAYS A WIDE VARIETY OF MOTHERFUCKERS!!! HE PLAYS EVERY MOTHERFUCKER IN EVERY MOTHERFUCKING FILM EVER MADE!!! FROM "BOB" THE LONELY PLUMBER WITH A HEART OF GOLD IN "LOG JAMMING" TO THE NEUROTIC MOTHERFUCKER "TK-FOUR-TWENTY-ONE" IN "STAR WARS MOTHERFUCKER"!!!

JACKSON RECENTLY ENDORSED HIS OWN BRAND OF BEER, "SAMUEL JACKSON". "FUCK SAM ADAMS, I'LL KILL THAT BITCH!"

(Reader's Comment: Why do you have to talk that way?)

CAUSE THIS IS HOWS I TALK! HAVEN'T YOU SEEN MY MOVIES? JUICE?! THAT WAS A GOOD ONE. DEEP BLUE SEA? THEY ATE ME!! A MOTHERFUCKIN' SHARK ATE ME !! AND I'M STILL MOTHERFUCKIN HERE!! YES, THEY DESERVE TO DIE!! AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!!

(Another Reader's Comment: But, I've seen your movies and you arent like that...)

MOTHERFUCKER! FUCK YOU! YOU DONT KNOW ME!!

Sam Jackson (Full name: Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson), was born in Gotham City hospital on January 31, 1942.

On that morning, his mother, Janet Jackson, pissed herself to make her husband, the late Jesse Jackson, think that her water was broken. Being an idiot, Jackson didn't realize his wife was only three months along, and that he had never had sex with her.

The story goes that, after driving through traffic with the Batmobile as an escort along with Wonder Woman planting alien eggs in the eye sockets of anyone who disturbed them, the couple reached the hospital and, once a bed had been found for Janet, throwing off a homeless man with cancer, she revealed she wasn't actually giving birth. Oh, how they laughed.

That is, until Sam Jackson, annoyed he had been woken up in his womb for nothing, punched his way out of the womb using his kung-fucker, killing his mother and his father.

Later in life, Samuel L. Jackson came upon the revelation that the man he killed at birth was not his real father. His real father was Mr.T, a motherfucker that was not quite as bad who is always too mother fucking busy sucking on motherfucking Judge Judy's penis whilst masturbating over a mother fucking mars bar, when he's a fucking snicker fan (the stupid whore of am mother fucker!), but Mr.T was backed up by Chuck Norris. To date, this is the only man Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson has not been able to kill in direct confrontation. He has not yet faced Chuck Norris. And he is currently being chased down by Naked Frogs and Bananas in Pyjamas eating artificial gammon.... mother fucker.

Danny B · 07-07-2009, 01:18 AM

Well alrighty then

hypedough · 07-07-2009, 01:33 AM

I have no idea what is going on here.

Pornopat · 07-07-2009, 02:44 AM

Capslock

Zorgman · 07-07-2009, 02:55 AM

Can anyone spot the webmaster having a nervous breakdown?

Diomed · 07-07-2009, 03:45 AM

Dumb shit.

Darkcrni · 07-07-2009, 03:53 AM

You lost me.....

Quagmire · 07-07-2009, 03:56 AM

It wasn't funny back in 2006, and it is even less funny now.

JFK · 07-07-2009, 03:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkcrni

You lost me.....

at sam ............

gornyhuy · 07-07-2009, 06:20 AM

75% stolen from dave chappelle

jmcb420 · 07-07-2009, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gornyhuy

75% stolen from dave chappelle

25% drugs?

majortom · 07-07-2009, 06:30 AM

mother fucking true

CDSmith · 07-07-2009, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wootpr0n

Sam Jackson (Full name: Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson),

That part is true.

seeandsee · 07-07-2009, 06:58 AM

i am lost

mikeyddddd · 07-07-2009, 07:06 AM

DaddyHalbucks · 07-07-2009, 10:54 AM

He's a great actor.

SilentKnight · 07-07-2009, 12:05 PM

CYF · 07-07-2009, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeyddddd

getmouthy · 07-07-2009, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zorgman

Can anyone spot the webmaster having a nervous breakdown?

Drake · 07-07-2009, 01:14 PM

Yngwie · 07-07-2009, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeyddddd

LMAO.. you seem to have one for every occasion. haha

TubeTitans_SusieQ · 07-07-2009, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilentKnight

LMAO word!

John-ACWM · 07-07-2009, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmcb420

25% drugs?

bbm · 07-07-2009, 01:43 PM

very shit

Thomas1007 · 07-07-2009, 02:06 PM

ok then....

I like his acting though.

96ukssob · 07-07-2009, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quagmire

It wasn't funny back in 2006, and it is even less funny now.

for sure!

lazycash · 07-07-2009, 02:59 PM

Stay off the meth

l0lf4c3 · 07-07-2009, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wootpr0n

SAMUEL L. MOTHAFUCKIN' JACKSON (BORN JANUARY THIRTY-FIRST, NINETEEN-FITY-EIGHT).... mother fucker.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hypedough

I have no idea what is going on here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zorgman

Can anyone spot the webmaster having a nervous breakdown?

V_RocKs · 07-07-2009, 03:18 PM

i hear only water can kill him

sortie · 07-07-2009, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wootpr0n

SAMUEL L. MOTHAFUCKIN' JACKSON (BORN JANUARY THIRTY-FIRST, NINETEEN-FITY-EIGHT), ALSO KNOWN TO HIS ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS AS BAD MUTHAFUCKA, IS A SHARK EATING, SNAKE HATING, LITTLE-KNOWN CULT CANADIAN MOTHERFUCKER AND PRESIDENT OF MOTHERFUCKING ANTARCTICA!!!

WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S THE ONLY CONTINENT WITHOUT ANY MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES??? I'M SORRY, DID I BREAK YOUR CONCENTRATION??? WELL ALLOW ME TO RETORT!!! IT'S BECAUSE HE'S THE PRESIDENT OF MOTHERFUCKING ANTARCTICA. BITCH!!!

HIS TALENT AND SKILL AS A MOTHERFUCKING ACTOR CAN BE SEEN IN HOW EFFECTIVELY HE PLAYS A WIDE VARIETY OF MOTHERFUCKERS!!! HE PLAYS EVERY MOTHERFUCKER IN EVERY MOTHERFUCKING FILM EVER MADE!!! FROM "BOB" THE LONELY PLUMBER WITH A HEART OF GOLD IN "LOG JAMMING" TO THE NEUROTIC MOTHERFUCKER "TK-FOUR-TWENTY-ONE" IN "STAR WARS MOTHERFUCKER"!!!

JACKSON RECENTLY ENDORSED HIS OWN BRAND OF BEER, "SAMUEL JACKSON". "FUCK SAM ADAMS, I'LL KILL THAT BITCH!"

(Reader's Comment: Why do you have to talk that way?)

CAUSE THIS IS HOWS I TALK! HAVEN'T YOU SEEN MY MOVIES? JUICE?! THAT WAS A GOOD ONE. DEEP BLUE SEA? THEY ATE ME!! A MOTHERFUCKIN' SHARK ATE ME !! AND I'M STILL MOTHERFUCKIN HERE!! YES, THEY DESERVE TO DIE!! AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!!

(Another Reader's Comment: But, I've seen your movies and you arent like that...)

MOTHERFUCKER! FUCK YOU! YOU DONT KNOW ME!!

Sam Jackson (Full name: Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson), was born in Gotham City hospital on January 31, 1942.

On that morning, his mother, Janet Jackson, pissed herself to make her husband, the late Jesse Jackson, think that her water was broken. Being an idiot, Jackson didn't realize his wife was only three months along, and that he had never had sex with her.

The story goes that, after driving through traffic with the Batmobile as an escort along with Wonder Woman planting alien eggs in the eye sockets of anyone who disturbed them, the couple reached the hospital and, once a bed had been found for Janet, throwing off a homeless man with cancer, she revealed she wasn't actually giving birth. Oh, how they laughed.

That is, until Sam Jackson, annoyed he had been woken up in his womb for nothing, punched his way out of the womb using his kung-fucker, killing his mother and his father.

Later in life, Samuel L. Jackson came upon the revelation that the man he killed at birth was not his real father. His real father was Mr.T, a motherfucker that was not quite as bad who is always too mother fucking busy sucking on motherfucking Judge Judy's penis whilst masturbating over a mother fucking mars bar, when he's a fucking snicker fan (the stupid whore of am mother fucker!), but Mr.T was backed up by Chuck Norris. To date, this is the only man Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson has not been able to kill in direct confrontation. He has not yet faced Chuck Norris. And he is currently being chased down by Naked Frogs and Bananas in Pyjamas eating artificial gammon.... mother fucker.

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=6723062

Danny B · 07-08-2009, 01:10 AM

STAROTICA · 07-08-2009, 01:23 AM

NickB. · 07-08-2009, 01:23 AM

high like a butter fly?

San · 07-08-2009, 01:50 AM

cool story, bro

bobby666 · 07-08-2009, 04:42 AM

ok...thanks for info

u-Bob · 07-08-2009, 06:48 AM

stopped reading after the first line of CAPS...

LoveSandra · 07-08-2009, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quagmire

It wasn't funny back in 2006, and it is even less funny now.

NinjaSteve · 07-08-2009, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quagmire

It wasn't funny back in 2006, and it is even less funny now.

Bwhahahahahahaaha!

StuartD · 07-08-2009, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by V_RocKs

i hear only water can kill him

That was Bruce Willis... SLJ played Mr Glass that could die by walking out his front door.

Darrah · 07-08-2009, 01:54 PM

Saw him on a show once saying his wife gave him an invitation to their own wedding. He never knew and never proposed! She gave him an invitation and planned the entire thing herself and they've been married for decades I believe.

07-07-2009, 12:50 AM	#1
wootpr0n Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 250	Little Known Facts About Samuel L Jackson SAMUEL L. MOTHAFUCKIN' JACKSON (BORN JANUARY THIRTY-FIRST, NINETEEN-FITY-EIGHT), ALSO KNOWN TO HIS ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS AS BAD MUTHAFUCKA, IS A SHARK EATING, SNAKE HATING, LITTLE-KNOWN CULT CANADIAN MOTHERFUCKER AND PRESIDENT OF MOTHERFUCKING ANTARCTICA!!! WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S THE ONLY CONTINENT WITHOUT ANY MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES??? I'M SORRY, DID I BREAK YOUR CONCENTRATION??? WELL ALLOW ME TO RETORT!!! IT'S BECAUSE HE'S THE PRESIDENT OF MOTHERFUCKING ANTARCTICA. BITCH!!! HIS TALENT AND SKILL AS A MOTHERFUCKING ACTOR CAN BE SEEN IN HOW EFFECTIVELY HE PLAYS A WIDE VARIETY OF MOTHERFUCKERS!!! HE PLAYS EVERY MOTHERFUCKER IN EVERY MOTHERFUCKING FILM EVER MADE!!! FROM "BOB" THE LONELY PLUMBER WITH A HEART OF GOLD IN "LOG JAMMING" TO THE NEUROTIC MOTHERFUCKER "TK-FOUR-TWENTY-ONE" IN "STAR WARS MOTHERFUCKER"!!! JACKSON RECENTLY ENDORSED HIS OWN BRAND OF BEER, "SAMUEL JACKSON". "FUCK SAM ADAMS, I'LL KILL THAT BITCH!" (Reader's Comment: Why do you have to talk that way?) CAUSE THIS IS HOWS I TALK! HAVEN'T YOU SEEN MY MOVIES? JUICE?! THAT WAS A GOOD ONE. DEEP BLUE SEA? THEY ATE ME!! A MOTHERFUCKIN' SHARK ATE ME !! AND I'M STILL MOTHERFUCKIN HERE!! YES, THEY DESERVE TO DIE!! AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!! (Another Reader's Comment: But, I've seen your movies and you arent like that...) MOTHERFUCKER! FUCK YOU! YOU DONT KNOW ME!! Sam Jackson (Full name: Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson), was born in Gotham City hospital on January 31, 1942. On that morning, his mother, Janet Jackson, pissed herself to make her husband, the late Jesse Jackson, think that her water was broken. Being an idiot, Jackson didn't realize his wife was only three months along, and that he had never had sex with her. The story goes that, after driving through traffic with the Batmobile as an escort along with Wonder Woman planting alien eggs in the eye sockets of anyone who disturbed them, the couple reached the hospital and, once a bed had been found for Janet, throwing off a homeless man with cancer, she revealed she wasn't actually giving birth. Oh, how they laughed. That is, until Sam Jackson, annoyed he had been woken up in his womb for nothing, punched his way out of the womb using his kung-fucker, killing his mother and his father. Later in life, Samuel L. Jackson came upon the revelation that the man he killed at birth was not his real father. His real father was Mr.T, a motherfucker that was not quite as bad who is always too mother fucking busy sucking on motherfucking Judge Judy's penis whilst masturbating over a mother fucking mars bar, when he's a fucking snicker fan (the stupid whore of am mother fucker!), but Mr.T was backed up by Chuck Norris. To date, this is the only man Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson has not been able to kill in direct confrontation. He has not yet faced Chuck Norris. And he is currently being chased down by Naked Frogs and Bananas in Pyjamas eating artificial gammon.... mother fucker. __________________ Sig too big http://www.gofuckyourself.com/gfy_faqs.html Want to use a large banner in your sig??? Contact Eric about getting on as an advertiser - eric AT adult.com

07-07-2009, 01:18 AM	#2
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07-07-2009, 03:45 AM	#6
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07-07-2009, 03:56 AM	#8
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07-07-2009, 06:20 AM	#10
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07-07-2009, 07:06 AM	#15
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07-07-2009, 10:54 AM	#16
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07-07-2009, 01:43 PM	#24
bbm So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 3,710	very shit

07-07-2009, 02:06 PM	#25
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07-07-2009, 02:59 PM	#27
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07-07-2009, 03:18 PM	#29
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San So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Shenzhen Posts: 790	cool story, bro

07-08-2009, 04:42 AM	#35
bobby666 boots are my religion Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Heart of europe Posts: 21,765	ok...thanks for info __________________

07-08-2009, 06:48 AM	#36
u-Bob there's no $$$ in porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs) Posts: 33,063	stopped reading after the first line of CAPS...

07-08-2009, 01:54 PM	#40
Darrah Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: United States Posts: 577	Saw him on a show once saying his wife gave him an invitation to their own wedding. He never knew and never proposed! She gave him an invitation and planned the entire thing herself and they've been married for decades I believe.