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Old 09-14-2009, 11:05 PM   #1
BFT3K
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Are You Between 40 and 60 Yrs Old? - If So, How's the Midlife Crisis Going?

Do you think you are experiencing one?...

Source: http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/i...lifecrisis.htm

Question: What is a Midlife Crisis?

Someone once said to me, "If it weren?t so cliché, I'd think I was having a midlife crisis." Nothing is cliche or trite about a midlife crisis. If you talk to middle-aged men and women who have experienced divorce, you will find that many of them will tell you their spouse changed overnight and became someone who discarded all that was once important to him for a new life that was all about what he wanted.

Answer:

A midlife crisis is experienced between the ages of 40 and 60. It was first identified by the psychologist Carl Jung and is a normal part of the maturing process. Most people will experience some form of emotional transition during that time of life. A transition that might cause you to take stock in where you are in life and make some needed adjustments to the way you live your life. Most seem to come through the process smoothly without making major life changes.

For some, a midlife crisis is more complicated. It can be an uncomfortable time emotionally which can lead to depression and the need for psychotherapy. Those who have a hard time with this transitional stage might experience a range of feelings such as:

Unhappiness with life and the lifestyle that may have provided them with happiness for many years.

Boredom with people and things that may have been of interest to them before.

Feeling a need for adventure and change.

Questioning the choices, they have made in their lives and the validity of decisions they made years before.

Confusion about who they are and where they are going.

Anger at their spouse and blame for feeling tied down.

Unable to make decisions about where they want to go with their life.

Doubt that they ever loved their spouse and resentment over the marriage.

A desire for a new and passionate, intimate relationship.

Most people who have a difficult time during midlife and go into crisis mode do so because of external factors. They may be experiencing stress in their life that makes the transition more difficult or they may have childhood issue that were never dealt with that come to the surface during this time. Some external factors that may cause this time in life to be problematic are:

Debt:

It is easier to accumulate debt due to the availability of credit cards and loans. We are bombarded by credit card companies and it is easy to find yourself with large balances owed. We live in a society where it is commonplace to be living above our means. Finding yourself middle aged, in debt and facing retirement can add stress to an already stressful time in life. A normal reaction would be to seek help from a debt management company or consolidate your loans. A person who is finding it difficult emotionally during midlife might find it easier to walk away from their family in order to rid himself of what he feels is the cause of all the debt.

Significant Loss:

The death of a parent or family member can cause grief, which is difficult enough to come to terms with, without having to also cope with the feelings of a midlife transition. Put the loss of a loved one with the feelings that accompany midlife and the whole process becomes bewildering and overwhelming.

Avoidant Personality:

If a person has a tendency to avoid conflict in their personal relationships, suffers from feelings of inadequacy, are emotionally distant and has low self ? esteem they will find midlife transition harder to navigate. This personality type has a deep fear of feeling shame and rejection. Such feelings will keep them from seeking help should their emotions become overwhelming. More than likely, they will run from their problems instead of trying to find solutions to them. It?s this personality type that normal ends up in divorce court during midlife.

Whether there are external factors that make the process more difficult or not, there is an internal process that is gone through. If a person lacks understanding of the process, he may find himself making irrational decisions he may later regret such as leaving a job, divorcing his spouse and throwing away the security that he built during the first part of his life.
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Old 09-14-2009, 11:13 PM   #2
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I look at it as more of an opportunity to do something that I have always wanted to do.

Get into video production and editing,
Go back to college and get another degree,
or, travel a bit and contemplate the meaning of life.

It is nice to have options.
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Old 09-14-2009, 11:54 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Redrob View Post
I look at it as more of an opportunity to do something that I have always wanted to do.

Get into video production and editing,
Go back to college and get another degree,
or, travel a bit and contemplate the meaning of life.

It is nice to have options.
Sounds like options you could have at any age. Not sure why midlife provides these opportunities, but if you're happy and optimistic, then more power to you!.
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Old 09-15-2009, 12:51 AM   #4
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I'll just keep busting a nut to 18 and 19 year old porn.... kthxbye.
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Old 09-15-2009, 12:55 AM   #5
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Old 09-15-2009, 01:11 AM   #6
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I am 39 years old so I have only 1 more year to go before I reach 40 but fuck that Midlife Crisis shit bro. Not going to happen to me. Age is just a number and it doesn't define who you are as an individual. Bottom line.
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Old 09-15-2009, 04:36 AM   #7
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Question: What is a Midlife Crisis?
Sounds like people living their life for others rather than for themselves. They wake up one day and realize that?s not what they want.
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Old 09-15-2009, 04:40 AM   #8
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i'm 36, and must have already had mine. if anything, i am scaling down my spending, spending far more time in the wilderness, doing the things i love, and hanging out with my girl. sort of like a reverse mid-life crisis.
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Old 09-15-2009, 04:48 AM   #9
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Been there done that. Changed my country and married a much younger woman. Spent the cash on dumb shallow stuff. did it all and man was it fun!
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Old 09-15-2009, 08:00 AM   #10
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I am 39 years old so I have only 1 more year to go before I reach 40 but fuck that Midlife Crisis shit bro. Not going to happen to me. Age is just a number and it doesn't define who you are as an individual. Bottom line.
It's not just a number. It's a count of how many times you've been around the Sun, Copernicus.
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Old 09-15-2009, 08:04 AM   #11
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had mine at 29 LOL
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Old 09-15-2009, 08:09 AM   #12
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I really see myself a lot in that article. To the point of being eerie/creepy.
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Old 09-15-2009, 08:16 AM   #13
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Getting close to 40. When the midlife crisis kicks in, I will get one of these;

And one (or two) of these;
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Old 09-15-2009, 08:45 AM   #14
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You know...honestly...maybe I'm in the minority but what I can share with you is that as I've aged, I've really learned what is important in life and I seem to be able to let a lot of the little shit go. Things don't piss me off as much, I don't waste my time as much. I dunno, I'm just a little more mellow I guess. More reflective.


Course, I've not hit that big Menopause thing yet (ha..."men" o "paws"), so I'll round back at that time after I get out of jail for probably killing someone.


-L
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Old 09-15-2009, 08:58 AM   #15
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Personally, I think a midlife crisis all depends on the person themselves and what happened in their life.

For instance, I know a lot of friends dads who went out and bought sports cars, made trips to late night "nail salons" etc when they hit about 40. But they all seem to have the same kind of "life" in terms of they starting working young, right out of high school or went to college and worked, got married and had kids young, etc.

Now they are looking back thinking "shit, i never got to do anything fun" and taking the chance now before they get to old.

At the same time I have relatives and friends that are in that age bracket but did enough partying their whole life, their "mid life crisis" is to settle down with one girlfriend
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Old 09-15-2009, 10:37 AM   #16
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Old 09-15-2009, 10:47 AM   #17
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37 now, but i know it is going to come for me. Taking full care on my 3 year old son, i feel i am missing out on lots of personal fun pretty often. I gain other joy with my awesome kid, but i know, when he's old enough to stay home alone... I'll be in the midsection of your age-range;-)

Edit: it is not that i did not party a lot prior to being a father, but still.
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Old 09-15-2009, 05:47 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Twistys Tim View Post
Getting close to 40. When the midlife crisis kicks in, I will get one of these;

And one (or two) of these;
That's a great plan!
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Old 09-15-2009, 07:46 PM   #19
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crisis ??? WHAT Crisis ?????
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Old 09-15-2009, 11:02 PM   #20
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AT 40 you realize you are half way to 80.. You think damn I remember stuff 30 -35 years ago..

At 50 well.. Sorry I can't really think of anything witty and I'm trying ;(

As Hall and Oats said, "I'm out of touch, I'm out of time" at least to college cuties. ;)

Bang em all now and best would be to hidden tape a few too. In my day it was a cassette and mic hid by the bedboard. haha ;) Had some good shit but, ladies I got guilty and threw them years ago.

Damn do I regret that now.
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