Hulk Hogan recounts almost killing himself and nicks accident [holy fuck]

[Jakez]

This is an amazing read..

Three pounds. I remember thinking, Three pounds of pressure is all it takes to pull this thing. Do you know how easy that would?ve been? I?d been staring at myself in the bathroom mirror for two days straight. Two days. A gun was in my hand and my finger was on the trigger and I was thinking, It would just be so easy. I felt like a snake charmer. I was headed down this dark road convincing myself it was a road I wanted to take. The weird thing was, I didn?t even remember bringing that gun into the bathroom. When did I pick this up? Was it in the safe? Did I have it in the car with me the other night? I bought that gun years ago to protect my family. A last resort. Was I really gonna use it for this?

I popped half a Xanax and took another swig from the big bottle of Captain Morgan?s I?d set on the counter.
The house was empty. Too quiet. I don?t do well alone. My kids were gone. My wife was gone. She had left before, but this was different. She didn?t want to fix things. She?d filed for divorce ? actually went to a lawyer and filed papers after twenty-three years. My mind kept running through it all, over and over. My daughter thinks I?m the reason Linda left. There?s so much I want her to understand, but she won?t talk to me. She won?t hear my side of the story.
My thoughts drifted to my son, Nick. Nearly four months had passed since he got into that terrible car accident. And every day since, the details of that August night played over and over in my mind.

It?s not often that a man can pinpoint the moment when life as he knew it began to unravel. For me, it was just after seven thirty on the night of August 26, 2007.
After a long day out on the boat, I?d grabbed a quick shower and hopped in my black Mercedes to head to dinner. Nick and his three buddies had gone just ahead of me to grab a table at Arigato, this Japanese steak house a few miles away. I assumed they?d all gone together in my yellow pickup.

I was wrong.

The fast-moving thunderheads that passed through that afternoon left the roads soaking wet. I remember my tires splashing through puddles as I left the big house on Willadel Drive. Just as I left, Nick?s friend Danny drove up in my silver Viper with his pal Barry in the passenger seat. Their windows were down, and they looked a little panicky as they pulled up beside me.

?Nick got in an accident!? they said.

Great, I thought. This is all I need, thinking that it was just a fender bender.

?Where?? I asked.

They told me on Court Street near Missouri Boulevard ? not much more than a mile from where we were.

For some reason it didn?t occur to me that it might be a life-threatening situation. With all the stoplights on that road, I thought they meant that Nick had rear-ended someone, or maybe someone rear-ended Nick. I was a little confused as to why Danny was driving my Viper, but I still thought Nick was in my yellow truck.
So off we went. I turned east and headed down Court Street with the sun getting ready to set behind me. All the lights were green, so I was cruising along when all of a sudden I saw flashing red-and-blues up ahead.

What the hell?

I couldn?t have left the house more than three or four minutes after Nick. But as I looked toward the intersection of Court and Missouri there were police cars in the middle of the road blocking traffic in both directions.

That?s when I saw it: a yellow vehicle smashed up into a palm tree in the center divider.

Oh my God. Nick!

I panicked. I needed to get closer. Traffic was stopped, so I turned into the oncoming lanes and raced down Court Street the wrong way.
As I hit Missouri I just stared at this mangled yellow wreck on the tree, thinking, Holy sh--. It didn?t look like my truck at all. I was confused for a moment. I had this weird little flash of relief. Danny and Barry got it wrong. That?s not my truck. Phew! Nick?s okay.

Then all of a sudden it hit me. Oh my God. That?s my yellow Supra!
My stomach clenched up in a knot. I pulled the Mercedes up on the curb, got out, and started running toward the car. ?Nick? Nick!?? A cop tried to hold me back, but there was no way.

?That?s my son!? I yelled as I pushed past him.

The yellow Supra was the car Nick loved most. I had no doubt he was behind the wheel. But I couldn?t see him.
I could see his best friend, John Graziano, slumped over in the passenger seat. Nick was nowhere to be found. I thought he?d been thrown from the car, so I?m looking up in the tree, on the ground, across the street. By this time another police car is pulling up, and I hear sirens from the fire trucks coming up the road.
The car had spun around somehow and hit the tree backward.

As I reached the front of it a policeman pulled John back. I saw his head. His skull was cracked open at the top of his forehead. It was awful. I almost fainted. It buckled me. John was like a member of my family. And the bleeding was bad ? like it wasn?t gonna stop. I was right there leaning on the side of the car with my hands when I finally saw Nick ? my only son ? folded up like an accordion with his head down by the gas pedal.

?Nick!? I yelled.

I could see he was alive. He turned his head, stuck his hand out, and gave me a thumbs-up. For a second I was relieved. Then the chaos set in. The sound of engines. Sirens. A saw. Paramedics pulling John from the passenger seat. So much blood.

I can?t even describe to you how panicked I was. The police and firefighters seemed panicked, too. The Supra?s removable targa top was off, and you could see that the cockpit of the vehicle was pretty intact, but the rest of the car was just mangled. The fiberglass shell on this thing had crumpled like a toy.

All of a sudden the firefighters started cutting the side of the car to try to get Nick out, and I was standing right there when I heard my boy screaming, ?No, no, no, stop! Stop! You?re gonna cut my legs off. Dad! Just unbuckle the seat belt. I can get out!? So I reached in and pushed the button on his seat belt, and Nick just crawled right out. His wrist was broken. His ribs were cracked. None of that mattered. He was gonna be okay.

But not John. John wasn?t moving.

I pressed the gun to my cheek. I tried not to look in the mirror. In between flashbacks I kept obsessing about Linda. How could she leave in the middle of all this? How could she?
I even turned the pity party on myself. I?m a mess. I?m in so much pain. My hip. My knees. I don?t even know if I can wrestle anymore. What the hell am I gonna do? My back hurts so bad I have to sit just to brush my teeth. In this damned chair. Right here.

I can?t get out of this thing.

My God. Look at me....

As the paramedics tended to Nick, I called Linda. She was out in L.A., where she had been living for months. No one knew we were separated then. No one knew how bad things were between us. But she was my wife, and she was still my first call.

?Linda, you?re not gonna believe this, but Nick wrecked the Supra,? I said, expecting her to ask if he was okay. Instead, she lost it.

?What the ----!? What the hell was he doing??

I tried to get her to listen, but she just kept screaming. When the cops came up to try to ask me questions and she wouldn?t let me get a word in, I had no choice but to hang up on her.

I called Brooke instead, who was off in Seattle working on her music. Nick?s her baby brother. They?ve always been close, and she broke down crying just listening to the sound of my voice. She was happy to hear that he was okay, of course, but when I told her that John was in real bad shape, she started bawling. She hated being so far away. I told her to get on a plane, and she said she would be there as soon as she could.

I was pacing like crazy at this point, just freaking out about the whole situation. For all I knew Linda still didn?t understand how serious this accident was, so I called her back, and she started screaming at me again for hanging up on her the first time.

By now a couple of medevac helicopters were landing on the scene. I couldn?t hear a thing. So I hung up again and turned my attention to Nick. He really seemed fine, and he kept telling the EMS people that he was okay, but they wouldn?t budge: They insisted he get into one of the helicopters ? and told me I couldn?t ride with him.

I lost it. I was woozy. The whole thing played out in this weird way, like slow motion and all sped up at the same time. I looked over and saw John laid out flat, strapped to a gurney as they lifted him into a chopper. I turned and saw firefighters pulling that mangled, cut-up car away from the tree. The press was there. There were video cameras and flashbulbs going off. It was all just crazy.

As the helicopters took off I called Linda back, and she finally calmed down enough to ask if Nick was okay. I told her, ?He?s walking around. He?s talking to me. They?re flying him to Bayfront Medical Center to check him out, but I think he?s fine.?

Then I told her about John. She couldn?t take it. I could hear her break down right over the phone.

[Jakez]

part 2


“Linda,” I said, “just get on a plane and get back here. Nick needs you.”

At this point I was running back to my car, but a cop stopped me before I could get in. I guess he saw me all wobbly and pacing and didn’t think it was safe for me to drive. He offered to take me to the hospital instead. I was glad. I’m not sure I would’ve made it in that condition.

I climbed into the back of that police car, and he just took off. We were flying down all these back roads with the lights going and the siren blaring, running red lights, blasting through stop signs. The world was a blur. And as I sat in the backseat of that cop car, alone, the whole thing started to hit me.
What if Nick has internal injuries? What if he’s in shock? Is he hurt more than he’s letting on? How had this happened? And what about John? I’ve never seen someone’s head busted open like that.

I felt sick to my stomach. John had to pull through. I prayed to God that he’d be okay. And I prayed to God for my son. Here I was, nearly four months later, consumed with thoughts of John Graziano, who was still barely clinging to life in a hospital bed.

What if he never recovers?

I took another swig from that bottle of rum. I got angry at the cops and the media and everyone who blamed my son for hurting John. It was an accident. A horrible accident. Nick didn’t set out to hurt anybody. He feels so guilty. I wish I could help him.

Slowly that anger gave way to pain and this feeling of helplessness.

Why can’t I make this all stop?

I could feel the life draining out of me. I could feel myself bleeding. That’s what it felt like: bleeding. Not from a cut on my body, but a wound somewhere deeper. It had me curling my index finger on the trigger of a loaded handgun and putting it in my mouth.

For all my strength, my will, my ability to excel and be the best, I couldn’t control that feeling. That depression. Whatever you want to call it. I couldn’t control it any more than I could control the craziness that seemed to be crushing my family.

I hit bottom, bro. And I stayed there for two straight days. I even slept with my head on that counter. If I got up to go to the bathroom once or twice, I sat right down again and stared at myself like some fool looking for answers that weren’t coming.

And that voice in my head would not stop.

Maybe I should just do it. Only cowards commit suicide. My family would be better off without me. What about the kids? I’m gonna do this. Just pull the trigger. Why not end it? Just do it, Hogan. Do it.

That could have been the end of me right there — that night in early December 2007, in the bathroom at the big house in Clearwater that everybody’d seen on Hogan Knows Best.

I could picture the crime scene. The news stories. The whole thing.

Obviously I didn’t kill myself — but I came damn close. And if it weren’t for a completely unexpected phone call that snapped me out of that stupor, I might have followed that dark road all the way to its end, and I might not be here writing this book today.

In the days after I sat there with that gun in my hand, I realized something: I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. If I was gonna keep living and breathing, I had to change things. I didn’t know how I would do it. Maybe I’d have to change everything. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I wish I didn’t have to sink that low to get to that point, but that’s what it took.

Slowly but surely in the weeks and months that followed, I opened my eyes to a whole new world. And it worked. I’m choosing to live life differently in the second half of the game.

That doesn’t mean everything’s perfect. Far from it. As I’m sitting down to write this, my soon-to-be ex-wife is dragging the divorce into a second year. Hell, she’s spending time with a nineteen-year-old boyfriend — in the house that I pay for. Not to mention I’m facing a civil suit from the Graziano family that seeks more money than I’ve made in my whole career. So no, not everything is perfect. The difference now is how I handle this stuff; how I look past those things to see the bigger picture; how I’m actually grateful that these things are happening because I know that something greater is right around the corner. If that doesn’t make a lot of sense to you right now, I’m hoping it will by the end of this book.

The main thing I want you to take away from this is simple: If I can get through everything I’ve been through in the last couple of years and be happier and stronger than ever, then you can get through whatever terrible things might happen in your life, too.

Despite what some people might think, I’m not writing this book to make excuses for anything I’ve done or to try to change anyone’s opinion of me or my family. All I want to do is tell the truth and clear the air so you’ll be able to understand where I’m coming from, and where I’m headed. ’Cause believe me, once you breathe clean air, you never want to go back to breathing anything else. That’s how I’m living now, and that’s why I want to use the lessons I’ve learned to help other people. I hope that doesn’t scare you off. In fact, I hope that you’ll be one of the people I help — even if it’s just in some small, unexpected way.

If not? Well, that’s okay, too. I’m ready to open up about everything in my life. And there’s plenty to tell! So I promise to be as open and honest in these pages as I possibly can —occasionally about some heavy stuff that I’m sure you never expected to hear from the Hulkster. I don’t know, maybe you’ll laugh at me. Or maybe you’ll see a little bit of yourself in me. Either way, if you want to read this book for the sheer entertainment value of it, that’s fine by me, too. Let’s face it, brother: My life’s been one hell of a trip, and I’m more than happy to take you along for the ride.

msnbc.com

[bronco67]

Oh no. Not the Supra. What will he do now that the Supra is gone?

[Jakez]

Originally Posted by bronco67

Oh no. Not the Supra. What will he do now that the Supra is gone?

Did you even read it dickhead?

[joefriday]

Wow , thats an amazing story ......

[After Shock Media]

I will admit I do not have a short attention span, I also enjoy long posts.
In this instance though I already feel it is just more fucking PR spin to sell something or some show. He fucking disgusts me in everyway possible with what he did and did not do when he had the chance and spotlight. So yes I did not read it and please anyone feel free to correct me if I am wrong and yes then I may read it.

Very few times I will ever say or do that.

Fucking dickhead.

[bronco67]

Originally Posted by Jakez

Did you even read it dickhead?

yeah, I read it. I know all about it.

I'm finding it very hard to muster any sympathy for that meathead.

Go listen to or read the transcripts of the jail tapes between Hulk and Nick. Then come back and call me a dickhead. He shoulda blown his stupid brains out.

Hulk didn't give a shit about John. All he cared about about was how this accident would directly affect him.

[Jakez]

Hahha, that's fucked up, but ok.. it's still a good read.

[Agent 488]

drama queen.

[Just Mike]

The hogans are all fame whores I have no sympathy for Hulk hogan or his douchebag son.

I know it was an accident but his son fucked up that boy Johns life forever and they should be responsible for his care at a minimum for the rest of his life

[LoveSandra]

Originally Posted by Jakez

Hahha, that's fucked up, but ok.. it's still a good read.

:1orgl augh

[themadwriter]

crazy shit

[georgeyw]

Originally Posted by After Shock Media

I will admit I do not have a short attention span, I also enjoy long posts.
In this instance though I already feel it is just more fucking PR spin to sell something or some show. He fucking disgusts me in everyway possible with what he did and did not do when he had the chance and spotlight. So yes I did not read it and please anyone feel free to correct me if I am wrong and yes then I may read it.

Very few times I will ever say or do that.

Fucking dickhead.

I got the same feeling 'the mercedes' - 'my silver viper' - 'my yellow truck' - 'my yellow supra' blah blah blah

[FrozenJag]

Wow, that was pretty intense. :x

Crazy stuff. I kinda feel bad for him actually.

[Jakez]

Originally Posted by georgeyw

I got the same feeling 'the mercedes' - 'my silver viper' - 'my yellow truck' - 'my yellow supra' blah blah blah

With all the confusion over what the media has done to the story, I think it's only right that he describes the story as well as possible, especially since one of the main points in it is the fact that his son was in a 1200hp Supra. If he wanted to brag he would have been like "my black S65 AMG series Mercedes", or my "big turbo 1200hp Supra". Hell the fact that his Supra has over 1000hp is a pretty major point, especially in the hands of a 'kid', I'm surprised he didn't mention that here..

[seeandsee]

clif notes please

[Raf1]

that is too much reading to get info on someone like Hulk Hogan..

[GoNe]

Good read!! Going to read the entire book.

[Pleasurepays]

up until reading this post... i thought he was an idiot and a prick.

very moving stuff.

[CyberHustler]

Originally Posted by Pleasurepays

up until reading this post... i thought he was an idiot and a prick.

very moving stuff.

[Si]

John Graziano, was injured severely. Graziano, an Iraqi war veteran, will require 24 hour a day care for the rest of his life. He was not wearing a seatbelt.

Well, there ya go unfortunately

[ShellyCrash]

Originally Posted by Sexentertain_mike

I know it was an accident but his son fucked up that boy Johns life forever and they should be responsible for his care at a minimum for the rest of his life

Agreed. Yes, it was an "accident", but it's one that happened because his son was doing a very boneheadded thing. I live here, this isn't like a highway or an open road these kids were racing on, this is practically in downtown- tons of traffic, pedestrians and red lights- it's a miracle no one else was hurt or killed. If it was one of my friends or a member of my family that was made a vegetable by Nick Hogan's wreckless driving you can bet your ass I would be out for blood.

With that said I don't totally hate Hogan. One thing you get by living here is how nice he has always been to the community. Until they had the reality show no one ever said the Hogans were jackasses.

[John-ACWM]

What a sad,strange feeling!You expect everyone to have it's up and downs yet reading Hulk's drama...it's really sad.Saw a short video about it on yahoo news earlier today and this caught my attention.All the best for Hulk.

[DWB]

Originally Posted by Jakez

"A cop tried to hold me back, but there was no way."

No shit. Can you imagine, you are some punk ass cop, and Hulk Fucking Hogan is storming through you to get to his son who was just in an accident? Must have been like a freight train coming through. Wow.

Intense read.

[Jarmusch]

Originally Posted by Sexentertain_mike

I know it was an accident but his son fucked up that boy Johns life forever and they should be responsible for his care at a minimum for the rest of his life

Well looks like the Graziano family are taking care of that by seeking to get more money than Hulk has ever made in his career.

[Fletch XXX]

Originally Posted by Jakez

I popped half a Xanax and took another swig from the big bottle of Captain Morgan’s I’d set on the counter.

woah Hogan, that half a Xanax might put you over the edge. LOL

A guy his size needs a lot of halves lol

[CaroMark]

Having met the Hulk IRL on more than a few occasions he has always seemed like a pretty decent guy and always seemed to truly care about the friends and family that he had around him.

This type of an event in anyone's life is traumatic and being in the public eye as much as this family is adds a lot of pressure (that doesn't remove the accountability).

[San]

boring..

[notoldschool]

Couldnt imagine coming to that scene with my son being involved. Fucking intense. Anyone who says they didnt do dumb shit when they were a teenager are full of shit. Just because he has money or because he is an attention whore actor/entertainer doesnt mean he loves his child and its not like he was driving. His dumb ass teen son. Not to mention his dumb whore wife making him crazy. I hope it works out for him.

[dyna mo]

who are we talking about?

[Tom_PM]

Can you imagine contacting an estranged spouse to tell them that a child you made together was in a horrifying crash and all they were doing was bitching about trivial bullshit? Frankly I'm surprised he hasn't killed someone, and I mean it.

[Vegas Ken]

Interesting read. I am still not sure exactly how I feel about it.

[boneprone]

Originally Posted by Vegas Ken

Interesting read. I am still not sure exactly how I feel about it.

Thats because you have no heart and you are UnAmerican.

My only concern is, will there be naked pictures of Brooke in it?

[Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life]

Too bad he didn't cap himself before he had offspring.

[Semi-Retired-Dave]

For a second I thought this was TMZ!

[L-Pink]

Rich fucking kid with his friends on daddy's speed boat and fast cars, now there's an accident ... DUH!


.

[CyberHustler]

Originally Posted by notoldschool

Just because he has money or because he is an attention whore actor/entertainer doesnt mean he loves his child...

[SonOfaBeach]

Originally Posted by Sexentertain_mike

I know it was an accident but his son fucked up that boy Johns life forever and they should be responsible for his care at a minimum for the rest of his life

I still don't understand this popular opinion - that Nick (and therefore his parents) are responsible for John's condition.

OK - yes, I know everyone says "Nick was 'only 17' and therefore his parents are legally responsible for his actions.", but look at it from the other angle then - JOHN was 21 (i believe - but def over 18) and the "ADULT" in the car. Why didn't HE act responsibly and handle the situation.

I highly doubt that he was screaming or crying or begging for Nick to slow down as they sped down the road (probably racing their buddies that were in the Viper).

Look - I have sympathy for the dude - he definitely got dealt the raw deal in the situation - especially after being a veteran and serving over in Iraq just to come home and now have to spend the rest of his life as a vegetable because of a car accident, but HE has to take responsibility for HIS actions - or lack thereof.

HE chose not to wear his seatbelt. HE was in the car w/ a 'kid' that HE knew was a total race nut. HE knew whether they had had a beer or two before heading out. HE probably talked smack to the buddies just before Nick threw the peddle down.

JOHN Graziano was an adult, who made HIS own decisions, and yeah - got screwed. I find it annoying that after all this time people don't recognize that - and still try to soak this family for every dime they have (primarily because they think they are assholes).

Look - have you ever gotten into a friend's car after they've had a couple? Have you ever been in a car w/ a friend that drives like crap? YOU made those choices - how are you going to turn around and sue them afterward - when you knowingly put yourself in those positions?

/rant

[slapass]

Originally Posted by SonOfaBeach

I still don't understand this popular opinion - that Nick (and therefore his parents) are responsible for John's condition.

OK - yes, I know everyone says "Nick was 'only 17' and therefore his parents are legally responsible for his actions.", but look at it from the other angle then - JOHN was 21 (i believe - but def over 18) and the "ADULT" in the car. Why didn't HE act responsibly and handle the situation.

I highly doubt that he was screaming or crying or begging for Nick to slow down as they sped down the road (probably racing their buddies that were in the Viper).

Look - I have sympathy for the dude - he definitely got dealt the raw deal in the situation - especially after being a veteran and serving over in Iraq just to come home and now have to spend the rest of his life as a vegetable because of a car accident, but HE has to take responsibility for HIS actions - or lack thereof.

HE chose not to wear his seatbelt. HE was in the car w/ a 'kid' that HE knew was a total race nut. HE knew whether they had had a beer or two before heading out. HE probably talked smack to the buddies just before Nick threw the peddle down.

JOHN Graziano was an adult, who made HIS own decisions, and yeah - got screwed. I find it annoying that after all this time people don't recognize that - and still try to soak this family for every dime they have (primarily because they think they are assholes).

Look - have you ever gotten into a friend's car after they've had a couple? Have you ever been in a car w/ a friend that drives like crap? YOU made those choices - how are you going to turn around and sue them afterward - when you knowingly put yourself in those positions?

/rant

I was thinking the same thing. I cannot count the number of times I have been behind the wheel or in the passenger seat when we are racing through urban settings. This is what kids do.

[DWB]

Originally Posted by boneprone

Thats because you have no heart and you are UnAmerican.

You got that right brotha!

UnAMERICAN!

[dyna mo]

wasn't he tied to 9/11 somehow? i thought i remembered seeing something about that at one point.

[dav3]

keep your head up hulkster!

[Pleasurepays]

Originally Posted by dyna mo

wasn't he tied to 9/11 somehow? i thought i remembered seeing something about that at one point.

he was the 12th hijacker.

[GTS Mark]

That is a sad read, Hulk Hogan was one of my idols growing up. Even got to meet him on a plane one time with my dad when i was a kid. He shook hands with me and said hello, totally made my YEAR!

It's very sad to read about his friend, but his friend made the decision to get into Nick's car. He didn't wear a seatbelt and when you don't wear seatbelts terrible things can happen.

In canada this kind of lawsuit would not even be entertained, it's only in the USA where someone can sue the parents. The only lawsuit in canada would be the injured party against the insurance company.

[Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life]

Originally Posted by DrinkingHARDEST

In canada this kind of lawsuit would not even be entertained.

I don't know the details of how much the kid sued him for, and I'm sure that being as it is in the States it is multimillions, but this would entirely be entertained to some level. I got in a wreck with a buddy in my truck back in highschool, he wasn't wearing his belt and hit the windshield when we crashed into the ditch. He had a minor neck injury that kept him in a neck brace for a couple months (he never wore the thing even and was out partying all the time and completely active). The weaselly little prick wound up suing and winning for $51,000. My insurance covered it. Had I been pissed, that would have come out of my pocket.

[GAMEFINEST]

nick is an idiot.

[PSSuperstars]

Originally Posted by Pleasurepays

up until reading this post... i thought he was an idiot and a prick.

very moving stuff.

He is an idiot and a prick...
Talk to anyone who has been backstage with him or worked with him during those years..
He could give two fucks about his family.
He fucked every ring rat in every town in every way imaginable... and left her with those kids to raise them..

It was only after he retired 4-5 years ago... that he was in their life in a heavy way.

And the beer they were drinking the day of the accident was bought by HIM...

He fails to mention where he was earlier in the day.

[PSSuperstars]

Originally Posted by CaroMark

Having met the Hulk IRL on more than a few occasions he has always seemed like a pretty decent guy and always seemed to truly care about the friends and family that he had around him.

This type of an event in anyone's life is traumatic and being in the public eye as much as this family is adds a lot of pressure (that doesn't remove the accountability).

did you meet him outside of like, WWE PR stuff?

the dudes a prick in real life.