Couple Monday morning jokes to start the week.

A little 80 year old lady had always wanted to join a local bikers club.
One day she goes up and knocks on a biker's door. A big, hairy, bearded
biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She proclaims, "I want
to join your club."


The guy was quite amused, but says she needs to meet certain biker
requirements in order to join he explains. The biker asks; "Do you
have motorcycle?

The little old lady replies, "Yep, my bike's parked over there" and
pointed to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.

The biker asks, "Do you drink?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, drink like a fish. I'll drink
everyone in your club under the table."

The biker asks, "Do you smoke?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, smoke like a chimney. At least 2 packs
of cigarettes and three joints a day and a couple more in the
evening, while I'm shooting pool."

The biker is very impressed and asks, "Last question, have you ever
been picked up by the fuzz?"

The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, "Nope, but I've
been swung around by my nipples a few times."








A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a beer.

After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times

[raven1083]

thanks for sharing. really funny indeed!

[pornguy]

I had heard the first one a few times but loved the second one