Sen. John Kerry's Resume

[Alex From San Diego]

I found this to be a good read just in case no one else has read it....LOL


Kerry's Resume


My name is John Kerry and I want to be your President...I think.

RESIDENCE:
I own seven mansions, including the one in Washington, D.C., worth multi-millions.

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
College: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.

Unlike my opponent, George W. Bush, I have no higher education and I did not get admitted to Harvard - or graduate with a M.B.A.

MILITARY:
I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam. I then returned to the United States, joined others in protesting the war and insulted returning Vietnam veterans by claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. Next, I threw my medals and ribbons - or something - away in protest. Or did I?!

My book, VIETNAM VETERANS AGAINST THE WAR: THE NEW SOLDIER, shows how I truly feel about the military. That is why I am qualified to be your Commander-In-Chief.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for the United States Congress and have been there ever since.

I have no REAL work experience, except for marrying a rich woman and then running, vicariously through my wife Teresa, the H. J. Heinz Company.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS A UNITED STATES SENATOR:
I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and security agencies by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself.

For example:
·I voted to kill the Bradley Fighting Vehicle.
·I voted to kill the M-1 Abrams Tank.
·I voted to kill every aircraft carrier proposal from 1988.
·I voted to kill the Aegis Anti-Aircraft System.
·I voted to kill the F-15 Strike Eagle.
·I voted to kill the Block 60 F-16.
·I voted to kill the P-3 Orion upgrade.
·I voted to kill the B-1.
·I voted to kill the B-2.
·I voted to kill the Patriot Anti-Missile System.
·I voted to kill the FA-18.
·I voted to kill the B-2.
·I voted to kill the F-117.

In other words, I have voted to kill every military appropriation for the development and deployment of each weapon system since 1988, including the battle armor for our troops. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I have voted to cut or kill every law enforcement bill as well as the security/anti-terrorism activity of every agency of the United States government.

For Example:
·I have voted to cut the funding of the FBI by 60%.
·I have voted to cut the funding for the CIA by 80%.
·I have voted to cut the funding for the National Security Agency by 80%.

However, I DID vote to increase our funding for United Nations operations by 800%, and I have voted in favor of every liberal piece of legislation that came my way. I have no plan to help this country, but I intend to significantly raise taxes if I am elected.

I make little or no charitable contributions and I have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $700 million. (I even ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of a fire.)

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard, as they might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
None.

PERSONAL:
My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, Geoge W. Bush, that he will never catch up.

For example: I ride a Serotta bicycle, valued at $2000-$6500. My Gulfstream V jet, that I call The Flying Squirrel, cost somewhere between $1,035,600.00 and $1,079,200.00 to purchase. The cost to operate it - per hour - is around $2,589.00 but, what the heck... I can afford it! I named my $850,000, 42-foot yacht, the Scarmouche.

I don't own any sports utility vehicles, but my family does - including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion - even though I am against large polluting/inefficient vehicles and I blame George Bush for current energy problems.

I am fascinated by "rap" and "hip-hop" music and you had better listen to it. Why? Because it reflects our REAL culture.

I would love to have your vote. So, please consider my qualifications and my (very limited) experience when you vote this November!

[xxxdesign-net]

what a desperate post... is the tax cut you are getting from Bush that good?

[mardigras]

Who's ass were those "facts" pulled out of? John Kerry doesn't and has never run Heinz, neither does Teresa.

[directfiesta]

right wing panic....

[Alex From San Diego]

Originally posted by xxxdesign-net
what a desperate post... is the tax cut you are getting from Bush that good?

You wouldn't know because your income is just above the poverty line....LOL

See you have to earn money to pay taxes....so explain to me why should you have the same benefits of a tax cut if your contributions are nil?

[gornyhuy]

[xxxdesign-net]

Originally posted by mardigras
Who's ass were those "facts" pulled out of? John Kerry doesn't and has never run Heinz, neither does Teresa.

and never questions stats like percentages.. they are always true.. lets also hide the reasons behing any vote a senator could have made.. half truth is the best weapon for deception...

lol

[Alex From San Diego]

Originally posted by directfiesta
right wing panic....

No panic from me.

[titmowse]

don't forget:

I also Uncovered Iran-Contra and shut down the most criminal bank in the world, the BCCI

[xxxdesign-net]

Originally posted by Alex From San Diego
You wouldn't know because your income is just above the poverty line....LOL

See you have to earn money to pay taxes....so explain to me why should you have the same benefits of a tax cut if your contributions are nil?

Talking like a true idiot... As idiotic as someone calling someone else he has never seen.. a "fat ass"...

I've seen your pathetic sites... Are you accepting spammers...? If not.. dont brag too much.. I might just be making more money than you do .. dumbass

[Alex From San Diego]

Originally posted by xxxdesign-net
Talking like a true idiot... As idiotic as someone calling someone else he has never seen.. a "fat ass"...

I've seen your pathetic sites... Are you accepting spammers...? If not.. dont brag too much.. I might just be making more money than you do .. dumbass

You asked me if the tax cut from Bush was that good....if you were a US citizen and made any kind of money you would know that it was.....

[xxxdesign-net]

Originally posted by Alex From San Diego
You asked me if the tax cut from Bush was that good....if you made any kind of money you would know that it was.....

Im Canadian... but that's alright... take your time to familiarize yourself with the interface... the location is on the left under the "registered date"...

[Alex From San Diego]

Originally posted by xxxdesign-net
Im Canadian... but that's alright... take your time to familiarize yourself with the interface... the location is on the left underthe "registered date"...

Take your time to read my edit....

[Buff]

I thought Kerry had a law degree....

[<IMX>]

hahaha you are really foolish...


Kerry doesn't have an mba, he has a J.D. from Boston College...

And also spent 3 years running the largest prosecuters office in MA. (like most folks in politics they go from a D.A. to running for state wide office)

Dont' let facts get in the way of your fiction

[Alex From San Diego]

Originally posted by Buff
I thought Kerry had a law degree....

He purchased it online...

[Alex From San Diego]

Originally posted by <IMX>
hahaha you are really foolish...


Kerry doesn't have an mba, he has a J.D. from Boston College...

And also spent 3 years running the largest prosecuters office in MA. (like most folks in politics they go from a D.A. to running for state wide office)

Dont' let facts get in the way of your fiction

Where did the article say Kerry had an MBA degree.....LOL

[mardigras]

Originally posted by Buff
I thought Kerry had a law degree....

He graduated from Boston College Law School in 1976.

[<IMX>]

Originally posted by Alex From San Diego
Where did the article say Kerry had an MBA degree.....LOL

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
College: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.

Unlike my opponent, George W. Bush, I have no higher education and I did not get admitted to Harvard - or graduate with a M.B.A.

maybe you should read what you post...
"no higher education AND..."

[sacX]

Originally posted by <IMX>
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
College: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.

Unlike my opponent, George W. Bush, I have no higher education and I did not get admitted to Harvard - or graduate with a M.B.A.

maybe you should read what you post...
"no higher education AND..."

owned.

[malakajoe]

except for marrying a rich woman and then running, vicariously through my wife Teresa, the H. J. Heinz Company.

LOL!! I love when people lie and get caught. As someone else stated, his wife has nothing to do with Heinz...other than getting tons of inheritance from it.

And they did not marry until the 90's. So how about everything before that.

And I ask again...wtf did Bush did before he become President? If you are going to bring up things other than political, Bush has the worst record seen...how many failed businesses? He doesn't even know he has part ownership in companies!!

This post along with so much more from the Bush camp has so many spins it is incredible.

This country is in a sad state when people don't see the real issues of life beyond their own.

[Alex From San Diego]

Originally posted by malakajoe
LOL!! I love when people lie and get caught. As someone else stated, his wife has nothing to do with Heinz...other than getting tons of inheritance from it.

And they did not marry until the 90's. So how about everything before that.

And I ask again...wtf did Bush did before he become President? If you are going to bring up things other than political, Bush has the worst record seen...how many failed businesses? He doesn't even know he has part ownership in companies!!

This post along with so much more from the Bush camp has so many spins it is incredible.

This country is in a sad state when people don't see the real issues of life beyond their own.

Explain the real issues of life oh wise one.

[spanky part 2]

Ehhhh.......he got out of vietnam early?

Ummmmm he did two tours, how is that getting out early.
I think someone who has put his life on the line has earned the right to speak his mind about a fucked up war. I think it's funny that you conservative fucks try and make it a BAD thing that he was against the vietnam war AFTER serving. Earth to republicans, everyone knows vietnam was a mistake. The jig is up.

Unlike the man you want to blow,who was hiding in the nat guard and couldn't even show up for that.

[spanky part 2]

Oh and a quick note about Bush' resume.

The first president to not get elected and use the supreme court to get into office. Do you have selective memory, most republicans do.

[directfiesta]

Originally posted by Alex From San Diego
Explain the real issues of life oh wise one.

Alex, the president just asked that you jump off the bridge...

Was nice knowing you...

[ImLost]

your an idiot

[TurboTrucker]

[trouserrat]

Originally posted by sacX
owned.

The thing he pasted is saying that Kerry DOES NOT have an MBA like G.W., which I believe is what Alex was saying. How does that own anyone?

[spanky part 2]

Originally posted by TurboTrucker

Spoken like a true Nader supporter. Go ahead a waste a vote.

[Alex From San Diego]

Originally posted by trouserrat
The thing he pasted is saying that Kerry DOES NOT have an MBA like G.W., which I believe is what Alex was saying. How does that own anyone?

Just let him think I was owned.....lol

He is so far behind in life, he thinks he is ahead.

[TurboTrucker]

Why the fuck would I vote for Nader? I'm voting for Badnarik.

Originally posted by spanky part 2
Baaaaaaaa baaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaa

[spanky part 2]

Originally posted by TurboTrucker
Why the fuck would I vote for Nader? I'm voting for Badnarik.

Ha ha ha Liberaterian party is some scary shite man. What that, no police, everyone has guns so you don't need police. That's some funny shit man.

[media]

Resume doesnt talk about his experience as District Attourney..

Leaves out a few other things.. they should have tried to make fun of those things as well..

Either way, they are both ass hats.. Lesser of two evils..

[Rollin Studios]

oh and bush

[TurboTrucker]

Originally posted by spanky part 2
Ha ha ha Liberaterian party is some scary shite man. What that, no police, everyone has guns so you don't need police. That's some funny shit man.

Where do you come up with that?

The Libertarian Party's anti-crime plan would do what the Democrats and Republicans have not done:
Respect the victim's rights and make criminals pay full restitution. Hold all criminals responsible for their actions.
Double the police resources available for crime prevention without any additional government spending.
Reduce the number of criminals at large on our streets.
Defend the most effective crime deterrent available, the private ownership of guns.
Create jobs, end welfare dependence, and improve education.

[scoreman]

George W. Bush's Resume

George W. Bush (Dubya)
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20500

Past Work Experience

Ran for congress and lost.

Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.

With father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments in Previous Positions

Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

Set record for most executions by any governor in American history.

Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments As President

Attacked and took over two countries.

Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.

Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.

Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

First president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in U.S. history.

After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

Set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other president in U.S. history.

In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.

Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in U.S. history.

Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in U.S. history.

Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.

Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in U.S. history.

Presided over the biggest energy crises in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

Presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

Dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.

My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history (the 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleezza Rice, has an Exxon oil tanker named after her).

First president in U.S. history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.

Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.

First president in U.S. history to order a U.S. attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.

Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in U.S. history.

First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the human rights commission.

First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the elections monitoring board.

Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.

Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

Withdrew from the World Court of Law.

Refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

First president in U.S. history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. elections).

All-time U.S. (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

My biggest lifetime campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.

First president in U.S. history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

First president to run and hide when the U.S. came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
First U.S. president to establish a secret shadow government.
Took the biggest world sympathy for the U.S. after 9/11, and in less than a year made the U.S. the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in U.S. and world history).

With a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.

Fist U.S. president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

First U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.

Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive.'
Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.

In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.

Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in U.S. history.

In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the U.S. has ever been since the Civil War.

Entered office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

References and Records

At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available)

AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.

Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (they can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)

[spanky part 2]

Originally posted by TurboTrucker
Where do you come up with that?

He had a long interview on NPR and that is one scary dude with some really simple ideas. SCAAAAARY. If my 90 yr old grandma has a gun, no one will mess with her. He actually said that.

[warlock5]

The worlds got problems. Neither Bush or Kerry are going to fix them.

[Buff]

Did he ever release his medical records like he promised over 6 years ago?

[Amputate Your Head]

Originally Posted by Buff

Did he ever release his medical records like he promised over 6 years ago?

Bumping a 6 year old thread? Are you really that concerned about Kerry's records?

[Buff]

Originally Posted by Amputate Your Head

Bumping a 6 year old thread? Are you really that concerned about Kerry's records?

I'll take that as a "no". Thanks!

[fatfoo]

Originally Posted by Alex From San Diego

I am fascinated by "rap" and "hip-hop" music and you had better listen to it. Why? Because it reflects our REAL culture.

Some of these rappers better be careful - they might get a rap sheet.

[The Demon]

Originally Posted by directfiesta

right wing panic....

Hahaha yes. When you losers post some liberal bullshit, it's funny and true. When someone makes fun of the left(who doesn't?), it's panic or propaganda! Thanks for making it easy directfiesta

[PenisFace]

Originally Posted by The Demon

Hahaha yes. When you losers post some liberal bullshit, it's funny and true. When someone makes fun of the left(who doesn't?), it's panic or propaganda! Thanks for making it easy directfiesta

I'm pretty sure directfiesta doesn't remember saying this 6 years ago

[The Demon]

Originally Posted by PenisFace

I'm pretty sure directfiesta doesn't remember saying this 6 years ago

Directfiesta isn't smart enough to remember what he said yesterday.