please critique this new label for my mainstream nutritional product.

[dyna mo]

this is the new version. went in a completely new direction since the other *homemade* version got the crap beat out of it around here.

remember, critique means strengths & weaknesses, not just lambasting.

have at it-

[Semi-Retired-Dave]

Looks Great,
Where do I order some. I'll take one case please.

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave

Looks Great,
Where do I order some. I'll take one case please.

w00t. It will be available on Amazon this week, on the TakeCharge website later this week and on the shelf at Wholefoods soon!

[spazlabz]

Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave

Looks Great,
Where do I order some. I'll take one case please.

yeah no shit, I'd chug that product

[Raf1]

the label could use a bit more pro-work on it, but the product seems like something I would buy

[Semi-Retired-Dave]

Originally Posted by spazlabz

yeah no shit, I'd chug that product

I would mix it in my Vodka and take shots with it.
There is a new idea.

[dyna mo]

the original label-

[spazlabz]

Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave

I would mix it in my Vodka and take shots with it.
There is a new idea.

<mini-hijack> in high school I had a friend whose parent solid this 'healthy orange drink mix'... yeah we discovered that mix with vodka the stuff tasted great!..........two days of stumbling around and being incoherent made me adore that drink mix. Like a mild tang.... brings me back LOL</mini-hijack>

[spazlabz]

Originally Posted by dyna mo

the original label-

the new one is significantly better IMO

[Semi-Retired-Dave]

Originally Posted by spazlabz

<mini-hijack> in high school I had a friend whose parent solid this 'healthy orange drink mix'... yeah we discovered that mix with vodka the stuff tasted great!..........two days of stumbling around and being incoherent made me adore that drink mix. Like a mild tang.... brings me back LOL</mini-hijack>

VodkaTang, I like the sound of that. lol
Great story.

[CaptainHowdy]

Looks much better...

[SykkBoy]

The new one is much better...it looks cleaner and more professional

[dyna mo]

nutritional profile & analysis (with 1/2 cup nonfat milk) it can be mixed with anything though, almond milk, soy milk. yogurt, even water! haven't tried it with vodka though, lolz!

[dyna mo]

it took me weeks of adjusting the ratios to achieve that 93 completeness score, btw.

[ottopottomouse]

comments-

not keen on the overlap on charge and its box but it is a much more readable logo

still not really sure about the squashed font used for the ingredients and am not sure if they are lines across? If so Quinoa - Tasty - Provides Energy dont line up.

left aligned text looks much better. not sure about the random capitalised words but havn't seen what other related products do on their text

is this going on health food shop shelves?
pick it up, read all the text, get to the bottom, put it back on the shelf. people need telling at the bottom of the text to buy it.

my only other comment is the blue colour is a bit like a hospital poster. i don't know if there is any research about on sucessful packaging colours - i just had a quick look and couldn't find anything useful but maybe i wasn't asking google the right questions.


image ^

good luck with it

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse

comments-

not keen on the overlap on charge and its box but it is a much more readable logo

still not really sure about the squashed font used for the ingredients and am not sure if they are lines across? If so Quinoa - Tasty - Provides Energy dont line up.

left aligned text looks much better. not sure about the random capitalised words but havn't seen what other related products do on their text

is this going on health food shop shelves?
pick it up, read all the text, get to the bottom, put it back on the shelf. people need telling at the bottom of the text to buy it.

my only other comment is the blue colour is a bit like a hospital poster. i don't know if there is any research about on sucessful packaging colours - i just had a quick look and couldn't find anything useful but maybe i wasn't asking google the right questions.



good luck with it

thanks a ton for the feedback. i think those are good ideas/changes and doable. couple comments-

i've been concerned with the 3 heading across the top, they are not supposed to be relative to one another, but as stand-alone bullet points summarizing the key points of the product in the form of
product
features
benefits
i still want to do that but am unsure how to not have them interpreted as related. any thoughts on how to achieve that?

i still don't know why that font comes across squashed either, i didn't see the squashedness at 1st but now that you mention it, i can see that.


will proof-read again to deal with the Capitalization.

i agree on the closing comment, will add the following-

Experience nature's best- Take Charge and start living healthier, have more energy, feel better and look better today!


color-wise, blue/gold is considered to be the most successful color combo for closing sales, although i am not sure what shade of blue or if it's true for any shade of blue.
\
:thum bsup

[CyberHustler]

Originally Posted by dyna mo

the original label-

Holy fucking FAIL!

[dyna mo]

here comes gfy!

[Agent 488]

you need some large bullet points to catch people's eyes in the stores. graphically better but has the allure of a chemistry textbook.

[dan@noof]

New label is a big improvement and I would definitely try this product based on the ingredient list. Good luck with this!

[JD]

Originally Posted by Agent 488

you need some large bullet points to catch people's eyes in the stores. graphically better but has the allure of a chemistry textbook.

this.. ^

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by Agent 488

you need some large bullet points to catch people's eyes in the stores. graphically better but has the allure of a chemistry textbook.

the ingredients, features, benefits section is the large bullet-points section which i hope catches eyes and summarizes things. lookign at products on the shelves for comparison, i have noticed that products don't really have any eye-catching text that makes me pick the product up off the shelf due to the distance away from the product, i find it's an overall view that does so. also, the big target group are label readers. stalking the aisles at health food stores i've noticed many many people intently reading labels, so i've tried to provide informative text to address that. re: the allure, it's hard to have a label that is very alluring but maintains the seriousness of the product, i think it's more important for this product to stay true to the core-value of what it delivers- the most nutritionally dense food available.

Originally Posted by dan@noof

New label is a big improvement and I would definitely try this product based on the ingredient list. Good luck with this!

hey, thanks a lot!

[Supz]

This is a million times better then the old one. Great job!

[Agent 488]

good luck then.

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by Supz

This is a million times better then the old one. Great job!

Originally Posted by Agent 488

good luck then.

hey, thanks!

here are pics of the packaging of the major player's products in this market.

[ottopottomouse]

Originally Posted by dyna mo

i've been concerned with the 3 heading across the top, they are not supposed to be relative to one another, but as stand-alone bullet points summarizing the key points of the product in the form of
product
features
benefits
i still want to do that but am unsure how to not have them interpreted as related. any thoughts on how to achieve that?

It's only an idea, and the longer I look at it the worse it seems:


image^

[yuu.design]

looks boring

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse

It's only an idea, and the longer I look at it the worse it seems:


image^

hmmm, i'll have to toss around some ideas, thanks for that.

Originally Posted by yuu

looks boring

maybe i can put a pic on there of some monkeys blowing some shit up to make it exciting to you!

[dyna mo]

bump for critique (strengths and weaknesses) from the night crew.

[O MARINA]

Originally Posted by dyna mo

on the TakeCharge website later this week and on the shelf at Wholefoods soon!

yay

[epitome]

The new label is much, much, much better than the first version!

As someone suggested, you may want to improve it more, but you can def. go to print with this version. Once you start making the money you can turn it over to people that only design retail packaging as they know exactly what works to draw eyes to the product.

[epitome]

Originally Posted by dyna mo

hey, thanks!

here are pics of the packaging of the major player's products in this market.

Oh hey, I wrote my response before seeing these.

You already win over these!

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by O MARINA

yay

i plan on getting it on the shelves of stores in your neck of the woods too eh. i haven't researched that yet, though.

Originally Posted by epitome

The new label is much, much, much better than the first version!

As someone suggested, you may want to improve it more, but you can def. go to print with this version. Once you start making the money you can turn it over to people that only design retail packaging as they know exactly what works to draw eyes to the product.

very true.

[epitome]

If you haven't already done so, please, please, please spend the $375 or whatever it is to trademark Take Charge for your category!

I've done it myself a few times and ended up with a registered trademark without the need of an attorney stepping in. Usually, the reviewing attorney for USPTO will guide you along if they know you are handling the registration yourself.

http://www.uspto.gov/teas/e-TEAS/index.html

After you file, you can begin putting the TM after your product name. Once it is registered you can go with the capital R in the circle.

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by epitome

Oh hey, I wrote my response before seeing these.

You already win over these!

you are right, again! lolz

the entire space is clogged with that style of marketing, not to mention the recipes are clogged with flavor enhancers like molasses and such, with no real focus on nutrition.

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by epitome

If you haven't already done so, please, please, please spend the $375 or whatever it is to trademark Take Charge for your category!

I've done it myself a few times and ended up with a registered trademark without the need of an attorney stepping in. Usually, the reviewing attorney for USPTO will guide you along if they know you are handling the registration yourself.

http://www.uspto.gov/teas/e-TEAS/index.html

After you file, you can begin putting the TM after your product name. Once it is registered you can go with the capital R in the circle.

doing that now, xcllnt advice, thank you.

[epitome]

Originally Posted by dyna mo

doing that now, xcllnt advice, thank you.

Since you're someone that actually takes into consideration advice you solicit:

Everything looks great except the ingredients list to me. I am no graphics wiz but they look like the words are stretched too far horizontally in relation to the height. Know what I'm saying...because I don't!

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by epitome

Since you're someone that actually takes into consideration advice you solicit:

Everything looks great except the ingredients list to me. I am no graphics wiz but they look like the words are stretched too far horizontally in relation to the height. Know what I'm saying...because I don't!

for some reason, that text came out that way, i think the best way/easiest way to deal with it is to change to font, because i have no idea why it looks like that!

thanks again!

[lagcam]

Is there not a requirement for some kind of warning text on products like these?

[epitome]

Originally Posted by dyna mo

doing that now, xcllnt advice, thank you.

One more tip if you are doing it yourself ... research the filings of your competitors ... I always give extra attention to the ones filed by attorney's.

[epitome]

Originally Posted by dyna mo

for some reason, that text came out that way, i think the best way/easiest way to deal with it is to change to font, because i have no idea why it looks like that!

thanks again!

If that's the case, then the font immediately above ... antioxidants, etc. ... looks great. Go with that one but make it larger/bolder.

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by epitome

One more tip if you are doing it yourself ... research the filings of your competitors ... I always give extra attention to the ones filed by attorney's.

registration filed-

Your Trademark/Service Mark Application, Principal Register Was Submitted Successfully.


w00t.

i'll peruse the competition's TM........

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse

It's only an idea, and the longer I look at it the worse it seems:


image^

hahahah, i just noticed the *buy it now fatso* at the bottom, lolz........

[spazlabz]

Originally Posted by dyna mo

ok shit, now I am hungry.... send me a sample of each I'll write a review for you.... and speaking as a fat guy, my opinion on grub is valuable!

[DBS.US]

No hemp seed?

[AsianDivaGirlsWebDude]

Did you check to see if someone already trademarked the name or words Take Charge?

If you Google the words Take Charge without parenthesis over 157 million results come up, and even in parenthesis, "Take Charge" stills pulls up over 6 million results.

With a simple cursory search I found that American Express owns takecharge.com, and the government runs a healthcare program called Take Charge, plus there are health and nutrition companies that include Take Charge in their trademarks.

EDIT: I see someone else brought up this issue while I was researching this post. You don't want to see your investment go poof - so make sure that you, or better yet your trademark attorney, do the appropriate due diligence.

Anyway, the second design looks better, but still needs a lot of work. If you already have a distribution deal, why not hire a real graphic designer to design the logo and create the package design for you?

ADG

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by DBS.US

No hemp seed?

not in this version, i've already started on a high protein version with hemp though.

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

Did you check to see if someone already trademarked the name or words Take Charge?

If you Google the words Take Charge without parenthesis over 157 million results come up, and even in parenthesis, "Take Charge" stills pulls up over 6 million results.

With a simple cursory search I found that American Express owns takecharge.com, and the government runs a healthcare program called Take Charge, plus there are health and nutrition companies that include Take Charge in their trademarks.

EDIT: I see someone else brought up this issue while I was researching this post. You don't want to see your investment go poof - so make sure the you, or better yet your trademark attorney do the appropriate die diligence.

Anyway, the second design looks better, but still needs a lot of work. If you already have a distribution deal, why not hire a real graphic designer to design the logo and create the package design for you?

ADG

yes, the trademark/patent office requires that step in the online process and provides a search. there are no health/nutrition products within the breakfast food, cereal, granola categories with such trademark.

[dyna mo]

Originally Posted by spazlabz

ok shit, now I am hungry.... send me a sample of each I'll write a review for you.... and speaking as a fat guy, my opinion on grub is valuable!

those images in the post you quoted are the competition. the goraw product is very tasty. the others, not so much.

[O MARINA]

Originally Posted by dyna mo

i plan on getting it on the shelves of stores in your neck of the woods too eh. i haven't researched that yet, though.

k

[spazlabz]

Originally Posted by dyna mo

those images in the post you quoted are the competition. the goraw product is very tasty. the others, not so much.

good, I like your's better any way LOL