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Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
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10-02-2010, 11:39 PM
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#1 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 480
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My girlfriend just...
Puked all over the car. Went to MY friends wedding, she gets fucking plowed, pukes all over the car and now shes on the bathroom floor passed the fuck out.
FML.  edit: the whole car smells like garlic hummus and newcastle. Also to make it clear, she puked inside the car. Driving about 50 mph down the highway she decided to open the door to puke and it sprayed everywhere inside. |
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10-02-2010, 11:46 PM
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#2 |
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Mainstream Businessman
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: San Diego
Posts: 9,291
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Next time get the puke out of her before she gets in the car.
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10-02-2010, 11:47 PM
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#3 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 480
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Fuck.. I think I will keep a plunger in the trunk from now on.
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10-02-2010, 11:48 PM
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#4 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Virtual
Posts: 1,113
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Give her ginger ale.
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10-02-2010, 11:48 PM
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#5 |
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Affiliate
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Icq: 94-399-723
Posts: 24,433
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she'll be using her toothbrush to get it sparkling clean tomorrow.
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10-02-2010, 11:49 PM
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#6 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Northern Cali, USA
Posts: 3,445
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10-02-2010, 11:49 PM
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#7 | |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 480
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Quote:
I don't keep an active stock of ginger ale. |
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10-02-2010, 11:51 PM
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#8 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Northern Cali, USA
Posts: 3,445
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pictures pls. we can asses the situation better...
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10-02-2010, 11:52 PM
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#9 | |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 480
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Quote:
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10-03-2010, 12:11 AM
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#10 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 2,450
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pics or it didnt happen..
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10-03-2010, 01:10 AM
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#11 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Sesame Street
Posts: 1,101
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I am so glad you could share that with us all, the fine people of GFY who actually do NOT give a fuck
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10-03-2010, 01:49 AM
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#12 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,674
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report the car stolen and push it off a cliff....
__________________
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10-03-2010, 01:51 AM
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#13 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,235
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sell your car
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10-03-2010, 01:51 AM
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#14 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Great White North
Posts: 5,794
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Enjoy cleaning the car tomorrow while your GF is pissed at you for thinking she would.
__________________
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10-03-2010, 01:53 AM
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#15 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Sesame Street
Posts: 1,101
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sell your girl
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10-03-2010, 01:57 AM
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#16 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Great White North
Posts: 5,794
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What smells better, new GF smell or new car smell?
__________________
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10-03-2010, 02:14 AM
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#17 | |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Northern Cali, USA
Posts: 3,445
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10-03-2010, 02:37 AM
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#18 | |
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Bollocks
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Bollocks
Posts: 2,793
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Quote:
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10-03-2010, 02:47 AM
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#19 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Onboard an airplane around the globe
Posts: 3,735
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Dress her up, grab some pictures and sell them as "druken girlfriend" nieche. Use the money to turn your car in for cleaning service.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The truth is not affected by the beliefs, or doubts, of the majority. |
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10-03-2010, 02:55 AM
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#20 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 622
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Quote:
__________________
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10-03-2010, 03:23 AM
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#21 |
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Work Work Work
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: EU
Posts: 20,060
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Wait for her to wake up and make her clean her mess.
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10-03-2010, 05:22 AM
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#22 |
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Now with more Jayne
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 40,077
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And like a loving partner you rush to tell strangers about it on GFY.
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10-03-2010, 08:02 AM
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#24 | |
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Guest
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Quote:
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10-03-2010, 08:19 AM
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#25 | |
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SEO Connoisseur
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Brantford, Ontario
Posts: 16,831
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Quote:
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10-03-2010, 08:30 AM
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#26 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Spartaaaaaaaaa
Posts: 14,136
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sounds like a good plot for a romantic movie
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10-03-2010, 09:03 AM
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#27 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Denver
Posts: 6,559
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on the bright side, a soft detail usually only runs $40-$60. or you go for the real deal for around $150.
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10-03-2010, 10:12 AM
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#28 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Nassau, Bahamas
Posts: 3,133
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Being a member of one of my college's premier drinking teams (and being the person who often was the most "sober" to drive), I created the following rules. I can't remember them all, but I came up with these because I was tired of people puking in the various cars I had during my college years.
Rules for excessively drunk passengers (in sequential order): #1 - Purchase (in advance) several of mini desk bins or trash liners. If you can get some of the ones pictured below, even better...  (by the way, a plastic bag full of puke makes for good entertainment later on). Also, get a roll of Bounty paper towels and a package of hair bands (drunk friends that have long hair will thank you for your foresight, trust me). These things will be placed under your seat, in a glove compartment or wherever you can reach them with one hand as quickly as possible. #2 – When the situation of inebriation actually has occurred, there must be as much of a delay in leaving the bar, party, drinking event as possible. This allows time for some of the puke to leave its inebriated host. #3 - Don't go on the highway if you can get to your destination on the local roads. It may take you longer to get home but there are multiple benefits to this: a. getting pulled over is not fun when you have up to 3 or 4 drunk and rowdy persons in the car with you. Particularly if they are not yet at the "Oh shit, I'm gonna barf" stage. They are bound to do or say something stupid. Officers are more likely to appreciate the fact that you are taking your time to drive them home on the local roads as the "designated driver". (I also wrote another article in college about how to avoid a Breathalyzer/Sobriety test while plastered) b. When the nausea begins, an inebriated passenger WILL have the bright idea that they need some fresh air. Do NOT open your windows if you are on a highway. Fast rushing air + especially drunk person = guaranteed puke spray along the side of your car (as well as in your car). They will attempt to stick their head out of the window or try to open the door to minimize their ‘vomitous’ mess. Once they start talking about fresh air, start rocking/swaying or perhaps getting strangely silent, immediately hand them the bin or plastic liner and if they refuse, insist on them at least holding it or putting it in their lap. #4 - Once the puke starts to let loose, pull over smoothly (hand them a hair band) and be prepared to wait until they get to the point of dry heaving. If they suggest after the initial spew that they are okay, calmly suggest that since you are stopped already that they can continue. Usually moments after they begin to protest that they are fine, they will be interrupted by the second round of vomit. If they still want you to continue driving, simply hand them a paper towel and begin rubbing their back as they are hunched over the bin. Bystanders actually think that rubbing a person’s back makes a person feel better while they are vomiting, but actually the circular motions only exacerbate nausea. #5 - Once they have gotten to the point when the majority of spewage appears to have left their stomach (read: The fountain of vomit has been reduced to a mere dribble), you can either help them tie the bag (and immediately give them another one) or empty the mini bin on the side of the road. Continue on your journey home, noting carefully that you may have to stop again. If the person is your girlfriend or roommate, help them indoors, making sure that they keep the plastic bag or bin in their hands. Oftentimes they will leave it in the car, which is a disaster if it’s the plastic bag scenario. This is also to avoid them puking inside your place randomly. #6 - Take them directly to the bathroom and to the toilet. Do not stop to get them a drink of water if they ask and do not take them to their bedroom either. If you have a bathtub/walk-in shower, help them to get in and sit down. If not, get them a pillow to kneel/sit on after they are stationed squarely around the “porcelain oracle”. They will begin throwing up /dry heaving again almost instantly. If they are in the tub/shower they can throw up as they so please, because the worst case scenario is that they can simply take a shower in the morning (conveniently with the clothes they threw up all over). More supervision is needed with the toilet scenario though, as they might spew more readily on the floor. #7 – Be sure to mentally catalog all occurrences for future instances of story-telling. In the end, the person in question will be very thankful for your preparedness and ability to handle their outright drunkenness. They will owe you. So make sure they compensate you in some friendly way or at the very least return the favor. I had at least ten steps, but I can’t remember the rest. That’s the best I can do for now. If you find this useful (or have been taken care of by someone who has read these steps, please send paypal donations to [email protected] (LOL. I just had to add that.)
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10-03-2010, 10:17 AM
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#29 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: 20 00'24.00" N, 75 09'00.00 W
Posts: 6,882
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pics* or it didn't happen.
* of girlfriend
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10-03-2010, 11:25 AM
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#30 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 16,256
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been there..... dont want to have to do it again
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10-03-2010, 11:36 AM
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#31 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: 127.0.0.1
Posts: 27,047
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does she look like this?
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10-03-2010, 11:59 AM
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#32 |
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She is ugly, bad luck.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 13,177
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It's a smell you never properly get rid of.
__________________
↑ see post ↑ 13101 |
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10-03-2010, 12:05 PM
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#33 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: London, Saint-Tropez, Bermuda, Moscow
Posts: 5,289
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Quote:
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10-03-2010, 12:10 PM
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#34 | |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Google
Posts: 12,460
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Quote:
nice pic
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10-03-2010, 12:14 PM
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#35 |
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Registered User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 22,511
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10-03-2010, 12:16 PM
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#36 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,199
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hopefully the experience of cleaning it up will cure her of repeating history
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10-03-2010, 12:39 PM
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#37 |
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Confirmed Asshole
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Half way between sobriety and fubar.
Posts: 12,722
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next time tell her if she's gonna spew, to spew into a cup
__________________
“If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.” -- Ulysses S. Grant |
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10-03-2010, 12:42 PM
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#38 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Behind the scenes
Posts: 5,190
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next time take puke bag with you in the car like airplanes used to have
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10-03-2010, 12:59 PM
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#39 | |
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PsyHead
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Hungary
Posts: 8,669
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Quote:
 <end of thread>
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10-03-2010, 01:28 PM
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#40 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 3,220
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hope shes ok and that she had a good time
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10-03-2010, 02:21 PM
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#41 |
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I need a beer
 
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠
Posts: 133,939
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Why didn't you push her out on the road,so what if you're going 50
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10-03-2010, 02:25 PM
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#42 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,695
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Give her one up the bum hole........
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10-03-2010, 03:35 PM
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#43 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: U.K
Posts: 148
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 Always keep one in your car.
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10-03-2010, 03:37 PM
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#44 |
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emperor of my world
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: nethalands
Posts: 29,903
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stupid whore
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10-03-2010, 03:48 PM
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#45 |
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there's no $$$ in porn
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs)
Posts: 33,063
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time to buy a new car....
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10-03-2010, 07:56 PM
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#46 | |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 480
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Quote:
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10-03-2010, 10:29 PM
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#47 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,766
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lol aa and cheese www.fuckmysexlife.com
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