I may lose my dad soon..
 

I've posted this on 2 other boards since my dad first went into the hospital for a regular operation to get rid of a pain in his mouth that he's had to deal with for many year and than the outcome of it, but I will post it here along with the most recent events.

1. He went in for ONE operation to remove a pain he's been having to deal with for years. Prior to going into the hospital he was perfectly fine for the exception of the pain in his mouth.

2. After the surgery they kept him there for a week just to make sure all was ok. After the week was over he was released and sent home.

3. No more than 2 days after he was sent home he felt sick, he vomited a lot and could no longer walk, but he was still able to talk perfectly fine.

4. Back to the hospital he goes. At that point the docs had no idea what was going on. They did tests and all that shit.. Nothing.

5. Still in the hospital with no sign of finding out what happened and now he's having a hard time talking. When he talks it's extremely low volume and hard to make out what he's saying.

6. He gets an LP (Lumbard Puncture/Spinal tap and an MRI or CAT Scan with dye). The results come in and they see a couple very small Leukemia cells. My dad already knew about the Leukemia and it was nothing to worry about. Even the docs said that the cells they did find are nothing to worry about.

7. All of a sudden he can't swallow that well so the nurses are given a sheet with instructions on what to do to help him with eating and all the other shit.

8. WOW! Look at that! Now he can't swallow at all so they have to put him on a feeding tube in order for him to get "food". They wanted him to eat enough to see if it would build up his strength so that he could be strong enough before they do some chemo on him.

9. Seems that they decided to go with the chemo almost right away. Friday, November 29 he is going for some chemo to see if that helps any.

We (my mom, brother, sister and I) went to the hospital he was at for the chemo just to be there for him. He looked very rough and very tired. He couldn't talk so he didn't say anything. He just nodded. All seemed fine for the exception of him looking rough and being very tired. We were also informed that day that he also has encephalitis now. Like he needed more shit to deal with, but we know that it's easier to treat encephalitis now than it was when I had that when I was 5 years old.

We left the hospital with more hope that all would be fine. Today, December 1, we went to the other hospital he went back to after the chemo to visit him. When we got there he was sleeping, but looked much healthier. His colour was normal and he put on some weight. He than woke up and saw us all there, my mom, my sister, my brother and I, but he looked extremely confused as if he had no idea who we were.

We just looked at it as him being very tired and due to all the drugs they had him on it caused confusion. Shortly after he fell back asleep and we left to let him rest. As we walked out of the hospital we saw my dad's wife walking towards the doors. We stopped, chit chatted a bit, told her that he looked much better today etc..

We get home and 2 hours after we got back we get a call. It was my dad's wife. She informed us that he may have looked better, but he is not better. He got much worse. Now his brain has shrunk, he has a lot of fluid on the brain, IF he would make it out of this 1 of 2 things would happen

1. he would be a vegetable for the rest of his life. (He does not want to live his life as a vegetable. My brother, my dad and I have discussed this before and he said that if that ever happens NOT to let him live that way)

OR

2. He will experience frequent dementia for the rest of his life and I'm sure that with the shrinking of his brain that he will be partially brain damaged.

So either way this will not end good. I know that this post is very long, but it's the only way I can deal with all of this. By letting it all out. I'm very close to my dad so losing him will kill a HUGE part of me and change my life and the way I am forever.

All of this because of ONE fucking operation intended to get rid of a pain in his mouth. And guess what?? The pain was STILL there after the fucking surgery. So what did he get out of this?? He got sick and will probably die! He was perfectly fucking fine prior to this god damned operation! He was active all the time, very chatty, never sick than he gets an operation and BAM!

Can't walk
can't talk
can't swallow
has encephalitis
brain shrinks
fluid on the brain

and who knows what else. How the fuck does this happen???? God?? Fuck god! Never believe in "god" and never fucking will. My dad believed in god in his own way and look at him now?

IF there was a god I would have a few words for IT..

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING USELESS SELF CENTERED PIECE OF INVISIBLE HORSE SHIT!

again, I apologize for the extremely long post.

:( sorry to hear about your ordeal. I wish your dad all the best and hope everything turns fine in the end. This is unfortunate. Really sorry to hear about that :(

wow.......

So sorry to hear that man.

All I can suggest is to spend time with him, even it is not possible to communicate with him. Perhaps in some non-verbal way he will be comforted.

Also, remember him as he was. Hold his hand, stroke his hair, and let him know the love you feel for him. At the least this can be a catharsis for you if he indeed passes, that you made sure that you did all you could to make sure that he knew what you felt about him.

I've had to live with people in my life that I love dying, and it is never easy. The most important lesson for your own life, is to then focus more attention everyday on what makes you happy, because you may never know what day will be your last.

I hope this helps...

Be strong,

ADG

I make sure to go spend time with him as much as possible and when I'm there I always hole his hand and talk to him. Yesterday he was the one that grabbed my hand and he held it tight. He wouldn't let go and I didn't want him to anyway.

I keep telling him that I love him so he knows that I want him to get better so we can spend even more time together. His one wish was, if something like this was to ever happen he want all of us (my sister, brother and I) to be there with him till the end so he wouldn't die alone. As hard as it is for me to be in this situation I will be there with him even if it means I have to see him suffering.

If he does pass, at least he will go knowing that his kids were there and love him. I will be an emotional wreck just like I an right now, but I will still be there with him.

It's tough for me to comment that as far as I came through something almost similar recently, 9 months of illness more or less allright, then a hospitalisation and a surgery resulted into coma and it hadn't finished with a happy end.

I am still not entirely in state to write about it but it was and most probably will remain the most painful experience I ever gone through.. a couple of painful memories still bounce back and I sure am softer than i used to be.

Well the only thing I can do is to wish you and your family the best of luck.. the best of luck!

I feel so sad now, I hope with all my heart your dad will get better.

What a shame..sure hope your Dad pulls through

Wish your dad and your family all the best

Sorry to hear this. I hope he is able to find peace.

I can totally understand that. just typing what I did brought tears to my eyes and I haven't lost my dad yet. Things like this are not easy to deal with for anyone.

Sorry about your father. I hope all works out for the best.

What was the pain in his mouth?

Sorry to hear, best wishes

They called it something like a tic douloureux. That's all the info I have on that.

I don't know you're dad, but it sounds like he raised some good children.

ADG

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
(Proverbs 3:5-6)

I hope everything turns out as best as it can for your dad. Sorry to hear.

Spend time with your dad, and hopefully he'll pull through

Ahhhh shit I feel for you man, I know how you feel...We had to put my dad in a care facility last year as he was diagnosed with a disease called "PICKS" which is a dementia similar to alzheimer's. He had to be put in the care home less than a year of being diagnosed. Picks usually strikes earlier in life than alzheimer's and is more progressive.

My dad was always full of life and loved having his friends and family around. He always looked much younger than he was. 60 years old with a full head of hair and barely any grey. In the last 2 years he has aged tremendously his wife brought him out one Sunday over to my house and one of my longtime friends was there and he barely recognized my dad. He has lost most of his ability to communicate and his personality is very different than it was before.

Shitty thing is that the care home that he is in is almost an hour from where I live and I have been dealing with chronic illness that I have had since I was a kid and it prevents me from getting out to see him as much as I would like.

Try and spend as much time with your dad, it should help him having family and friends around for support right now. Try and remain positive and hopefully he will get better just as mysteriously as he became ill.

I hope things will get better for you man, just hang in there.

My deepest sympathies:(:(:(

i feel you man... my grandmother is 94 and is going through the same thing.. she sleeps about 18 hours a day and i dont think she will make it another 12 months... really sucks watching someone you love wither away...

best wishes for you and your dad...

that sucks......

I feel for you man, I really do.

I feel sorry for your dad. I really wish he become OK soon.

I'm so sorry to hear about your father. My family has been dealing with my Grandfather who had a stroke. He is a retired minister and many people who came to visit him would pray or talk about the power of healing God has and how he works in mysterious ways. I wanted to bash them all in the face. I know how hard it is to see your family patriarch helpless in a hospital bed. I think the only thing you can do with your anger is use it as fuel to make sure you get the best information and care for your Dad. The squeaky wheel really works in the hospital. Best wishes for you and your family!

sorry
.....

my god that is a horror story :(

they still don't have an explanation or diagnosis of what sent him into this downward spiral?

:Oh crap

wow I really hope he gets better. Sucks to think that it may happen to anyone, even my own parents.

Sorry about your dad. I feel for you. :(

I hope he get better... be strong

sorry to hear that, best of luck to you and your dad

Keep your head up man, don't give up on him. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Yngwie, you certainly are a cool dude I respect....I'm wishing you and your dad all the best. Hopefully you find a way to cope with this horrible situation....

nope, still no actually explanation. You would think that by now they would know what caused this. At least a little bit.

just tell me where to donate

this kind of happened to my family and doctors start covering up for each other. getting a straight answer out of them when things don't go well is very hard.

i feel for you and your family :Oh crap

from the little bit of research I did the last stuff the doctors said (shrinking brain, dementia) sounds like Alzheimer's. That may be one of the things, but I know there are other things wrong.

money is not needed. I just want my dad to be ok.

Maybe they released some bacteria into his system when they operated in his mouth