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-   -   What is Wrong with this Tour? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=1001792)

digitaldivas 12-13-2010 07:24 PM
What is Wrong with this Tour?
 
too generic? or awesome? feedback appreciated :)

http://www.pantyhosedfetish.com/tour.html

babymaker 12-13-2010 07:30 PM
Needs more pizzaz :) If you read it its ok if you know the fetish but most wont do that you need something in the header to grab attention, the pix and stuff was pretty far down :)

Frasier 12-13-2010 07:49 PM
This text is horrible. Redundant ideas and short choppy, incomplete sentences

Quote:
I have Complete Pantyhose and Nylon Fetish Video Libraries inside of my Exclusive Members Area! Welcome to my Tour! Here is a little bit about us! I book, shoot, edit and categorize each and every set, lovingly sorted by High Quality Pantyhose and Nylon Images, Pantyhose Fetish Vidcaps of my Stocking Video of each and every model! In addition, I offer Pantyhose Video of each model inside my Members Area. You will recognize some of this content from my sister site Beautifulfeetonline.com. As of October, 2010, I am shooting models Exclusively for this PH site! The shoots will be independent from Beautifulfeetonline.com. So you get a totally different aspect of the model. This is and always will be an Amateur Pantyhose and Nylon Fetish Video Website. As well as a labor of love!
.

Pay someone to rewrite this ASAP. I mean this in the most constructive way possible. Please do this.

digitaldivas 12-13-2010 09:44 PM
thanks frasier. I did that for keyword purposes. guess i went a little apeshit?


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