Fine, Don't Fucking Hire Me, You Can't Handle My Shit!!
 

LOL! :1orglaugh:thumbsup

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/942873935.html

Your brother is gay and you're not cool with that? I'll de-gay him with reverse buttsex. Don't believe me?! Then hire me and I'll fucking show you!

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

that boy needs a job
i wish i had an inexhaustible amount of money...id make that guy a job just to film how crazy he is..lol

Damn Mark, you have too much free time in your hands!
lol..

Dude i hired a 400lb elvis impersonator one time! True story!!! :pimp:1orglaugh

Was he Canadian or ? :upsidedow

Cover Letter? Here's my fucking cover letter!
Now, I'm really low on money, and I'll suck a dick if I have to...that's right!
Got a bear in your backyard that keeps eating your garbage? I'll fight that motherfucker and I'll win! Can any other prospective employee say that?! FUCK NO! What'd you say? You lost your keys? FUCK IT! I'll shoot the goddamn lock off your door with my laser eyes! That's how bad I need a motherfuckin job!

This was an absolutely amazing read Mark. LOL!!

Sounds like DH is coming back..how many did you have so far today?

I smell a new .xxx representative ...

LOL...


SHIT I HAVE DONE
-I invented the moon.
-Atlantis was around til 1988, but sunk when I shot out of my mom's vagina like a silver bullet into a wolverine.
-I am also a wolverine.
-Had sex with the Spice Girls.
-The blowjob machine was originally my idea until that bastard Clint Eastwood stole it.
-I have prophetic visions of the apocolypse.
-Watched the movie "Juwanna Mann" at least 18 times. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0247444/
-Created a new genre of dance in which people get so into it that radiation waves pulsate off of them, I like to call this the microrave.
-I reverse engineered a door, I now know how it works.
-When I was 8, a frisbee flew into my backyard and I blew it up with my mind.
-My brother is the Eiffel Tower
-Direct descendant of Beowulf
-Can make weapons out of anything, very useful in a hostile work environment
-Beat my pornography addiction when I was 19
-Proficient in Microsoft Office and Photoshop

Shit, I'm about to hire a bar with midget bartenders for a pool party. Maybe I should hire this guy instead. Then again after a few drinks it may turn into a midget tossing competition, not sure if I'd wanna give that up.

That reads like a chick wrote it?
Yep, she pisses sitting!