GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum (https://gfy.com/index.php)
-   Fucking Around & Business Discussion (https://gfy.com/forumdisplay.php?f=26)
-   -   Dear God please help me (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=1027805)

SleazyDream 06-24-2011 12:52 AM

Dear God please help me
 
no one is going to believe this

It started a couple days ago. I often work late and I hear some noise in the bushes outside my office window. At first i thought it might be the wind, but then I realized there was no wind that night. So thoughts of a cat or a skunk came into my head. Praying that the access panel to under my house was in place, I looked out the window and saw what seemed like a large child's head pull up against the house. Thinking it was some kids playing a prank, I went to my outside door to scare the kid by asking what he was doing. When I came around the corner of the house, nothing was there. Oh well, I shrugged and headed back inside but looking up, as I often do cause I like looking at the stars, i saw what might have been a shooting star. At least at first. I was happy to see it, and it had a tail behind it too, a rare site. Until suddenly it made a right angle turn and headed up into the sky further till it disappeared. I had never seen that before and it made me think i had just seen a UFO. Somehow I felt a little scared but I was more curious about what i had seen then anything. I went back in and snuggled back up to my girlfriend and told her the story. She thought it was interesting, and that was it for the night.

The next night I heard the rustling again, and I saw what seemed like a light from below my window. I was curious and scared, thinking it might be an alien but then telling myself that would be foolish to think such things. I was too afraid to get up close to the window though, so i went outside quietly and when I turned the corner to see where the noise came from I saw a blur from something that moved very quickly around another corner of the house. I wasn't sure what to do, so I headed back in and looked up again to the sky. Suddenly, I saw what could have been the same shooting star again, but it seemed to be going up and not down or across the sky. Creepy. Nothing else happened that night.


The next night I heard more noises, and mustering up more courage I went outside fast to see what it was. There, in my front lawn in full view was something I had never seen before. I don't know how to describe it, so i won't. Actually some of this is still a little foggy in my memory, but I know I blacked out and then woke up standing up in my front yard. I'd like to say i was missing time, but I didn't check the time when I went out and when i came back in it seemed to be about right, as if I didn't miss any time or the like. Somehow I knew I had been out for a few hours or more though. Weird feeling.

All the next day my ass was itchy. It's happened before, one of those just gota scratch it kind of feelings, but it kept happening all day long. I felt like a weirdo scratching my ass, and I needed to scratch it all over the hole and such. It got so bad I started to wonder if this is how it feels to be gay, so I looked at some gay porn. Nope, still made me wana puke. Not gay, just an itchy asshole. Very itchy.

Anyway, nothing that night, no noise, no lights in the sky, nothing. I started to think it was all in my head as I worked away at my computer, noting the time was 2 am. Suddenly as I was working the time was 5 am. I had no idea where the time had gone, totally missing from my memory and no addition work had been done. I figured I had just dozed off in my chair though, it's happened before. I got up and went to bed with the girlfriend, but this time my cock was itchy. Just under the head, on the backside. And itchy bad. Starting to think i might have an STD or something. but scratching it made it better and I'm no stranger to pulling my wiener so this wasn't much different. No biggie.

Now this might all seem weird, but tonight as I'm typing this, I know I'm not at home. Sure it looks like my home and my office, but I know I'm not there. Somehow I'm somewhere else, and it's weird. I know I need help, I'm in over my head and I can't get out. It's like I'm in a virtual reality, it's not real but everything looks and feels real like my actual house, right down to Skufty sleeping by my side. But I don't know where I am.

Can someone please help me? What's happening? Why isn't this real? I have this creepy feeling something is going to happen, and I don't know what it is.

help? suggestions? has anyone else experienced anything like this before?

munki 06-24-2011 12:56 AM

When's the last time you got sleep?

sponsorpimp 06-24-2011 12:58 AM

Yep you are right no one is going to believe you. I want some of what you are taking :upsidedow

onwebcam 06-24-2011 01:10 AM

meth is bad for you

Pornopat 06-24-2011 01:20 AM

Somebody get a moderator to delete this thread asap before one of the other prospects sees it!

OY 06-24-2011 01:22 AM

Someone hacked Sleazys account.

the Shemp 06-24-2011 01:41 AM

the aliens improved your spelling ...

grumpy 06-24-2011 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the Shemp (Post 18237116)
the aliens improved your spelling ...

:thumbsup :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

seeandsee 06-24-2011 02:09 AM

did you was under some kind of I?

mightyjoe 06-24-2011 02:23 AM

well if you want some guys believes you, set up surveillance camera. video that damn thing.

FlowerKid 06-24-2011 02:23 AM

They come to take over the world sooner or later.

loreen 06-24-2011 02:40 AM


buzzard 06-24-2011 02:45 AM

All your base are belong to us
.

BradBangs 06-24-2011 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SleazyDream (Post 18237068)
I went back in and snuggled back up to my girlfriend

You are right. No one is going to believe that.

mavruda 06-24-2011 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loreen (Post 18237160)

LOL Awesome gig Loreen! :-)

mavruda 06-24-2011 02:53 AM

http://data.whicdn.com/images/106980...jpg?1307820126

theking 06-24-2011 02:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the Shemp (Post 18237116)
the aliens improved your spelling ...

:thumbsup Shemp...

sponsorpimp 06-24-2011 03:09 AM

Be warned - scary alien!!!
 
BE WARNED - SCARY ALIEN!!!



adult-help 06-24-2011 03:16 AM

this is not normal but on meth it is..

scarlettcontent 06-24-2011 03:53 AM

nice story of anal probing

Overload 06-24-2011 04:05 AM

no more LSD at night might help?

Sid70 06-24-2011 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seeandsee (Post 18237131)
did you was under some kind of I?

Ah, here we go, welcome Alien rep speaking Engreash with us :)

$ex 06-24-2011 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sponsorpimp (Post 18237177)
BE WARNED - SCARY ALIEN!!!



Fuck - Scared the shit out of me :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

TheSquealer 06-24-2011 05:41 AM

NOW THATS FUCKING CRAZY...

suddenly he doesn't have the spelling and grammar of a 1/2 retarded 5th grader.

Spunky 06-24-2011 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the Shemp (Post 18237116)
the aliens improved your spelling ...

:1orglaugh,He copied and pasted this from somewhere

adultforum 06-24-2011 05:54 AM

Stop smoking marijuana :))

CaptainHowdy 06-24-2011 05:57 AM


PornGreen 06-24-2011 07:06 AM

you are right. i don't believe you.

MrBottomTooth 06-24-2011 07:23 AM

We know it's BS because your girlfriend left you when you went bankrupt.

2MuchMark 06-24-2011 07:54 AM

No such thing as aliens visiting earth, ghosts or other weird stuff.

L-Pink 06-24-2011 08:01 AM

So being freaked out by a possible alien encounter you naturally watch some gay porn and scratched your asshole? ...... You never let us down.


.

spazlabz 06-24-2011 08:54 AM

interesting and strange story to say the least. Watch out though, I hear aliens are quite horny and you might be making hybrids!

Adraco 06-24-2011 09:03 AM

Hush, don't tell people about our little "special" secret, we agreed not to tell anyone !!!

DateDoc 06-24-2011 09:11 AM

acid trip

halfpint 06-24-2011 09:20 AM

WOW I realy dont know what to say

J. Falcon 06-24-2011 09:20 AM

Quite frankly, your story sucks.

B.Barnato 06-24-2011 09:22 AM

yes the spelling also threw me off after the first few error free sentences

JamesGw 06-24-2011 10:12 AM

Cool story.

Needs more explosions, though.

alias 06-24-2011 10:19 AM

God is busy, please leave a message after the beep.
 
http://alientrollscience.com/good_luck_to_ya.jpg

cooldude7 06-24-2011 10:35 AM

i checked google., this is a lot of fresh content for my blog.,

btw, take some sleep.

Double trouble 06-24-2011 10:52 AM

http://www.p2pnet.net/images/spacbush.jpg

TondaB 06-24-2011 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamesGw (Post 18237760)
Cool story.

Needs more explosions, though.

My thoughts exactly! I want to read more:)

martinsc 06-24-2011 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the Shemp (Post 18237116)
the aliens improved your spelling ...

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Chosen 06-24-2011 01:35 PM

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0...pzfmo1_500.jpg

Coup 06-24-2011 01:37 PM

you have bed bugs

http://www.ca.uky.edu/entomology/ent...s/bedbugmp.jpg

JFK 06-24-2011 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunky (Post 18237292)
:1orglaugh,He copied and pasted this from somewhere

alien manifesto ?:Oh crap

Imortyl Pussycat 06-24-2011 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adultforum (Post 18237303)
Stop smoking marijuana :))

start smoking marijuana! i don't know where this post came from babe but i giggles from beginning to end :1orglaugh i have to call you now, lol. get the story behind the story

DaLord 06-24-2011 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loreen (Post 18237160)

HAHAHAHA I love the LSD-look

SleazyDream 06-24-2011 04:31 PM

;)

........

CDSmith 06-25-2011 12:56 PM

There actually were reports of UFO sightings over Winnipeg last week.

I'm glad they chose to leave my ass alone.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:14 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
©2000-, AI Media Network Inc123