Ever notice more you do, the less others do?
 

Ive been noticing for some time now that if I help someone out with something, they will always come back for more, even with people I work with. They become super lazy and dependent on you for the most simple of fucking tasks.

The biggest mistake you can ever do is just do something for someone else. rather, make the learn.

Its like... you can teach a man to fish, or have a million annoying lazy assholes bothering you all day to give them a fish for free :2 cents:

Almost daily,people take advantage of your knowledge and expect you to cover their ass.just plain laziness

it's good for commerce

i know that, fix my computer, but to learn it, that is hard

In Psychology, it's called the Ben Franklin effect. When you do someone a favor, it's more likely that you'll do that same person another favor than he/she will return the favor. Likewise, if you hurt somebody, it's more likely that you'll hurt that person again than he/she will hurt you back.

I think we are highly adaptive in order to survive. Little kids always know who to throw a temper tantrum to. Even my little pup knows who spoil him and who not.

yep :)

No :pimp

This is why the pilgrims abandoned the idea of communism in the US after a couple years.

What can be done to overcome this? Self awareness?

can you biggie size my fish please:thumbsup

dont forget the biggie fries and biggie soda...

"Give an inch, they'll take a mile."

"No good deed goes unpunished."

There's a reason why those sayings exist, sadly...

You are such a fucking retard. That's not even close to what the OP was talking about. In fact, he was talking about the exact opposite of societal tendencies to reciprocate.

What? It seems to describe what the OP is talking about. You do a favor for someone and then they keep coming back.

I personally think reinforcement works best. You ONLY do someone a favor OR be nice to someone when they have earned it. For example, if you buy this new friend lunch/dinner out of nowhere, he might or might not ask you to buy him another meal. But if you keep doing it over time, it's very likely that he would expect you to buy him ALL his meals. (Im sure everyone knows someone or 10 like that, lol) However, if he helped you move the day before, and you want to reward him by buying him a meal, then he is not as prone to think you're his free cash whenever he is hungry. But of course, there are always nice friends/girlfriends/people who dont take advantage of others and would reciprocate when they can.

Imma use my pup as an example again. Trainers train dogs using reinforcement all the time (I'm in no way implying that men are equal to dogs so dont quote me. lol :winkwink:) Whenever I see him do something good, I'd give him a treat (right away). But if I give him treats all day long with or without the behavior, he would probably just "expect" the "free treat" without trying to work for it. [Same goes for your kids, friends/girlfriends, coworkers/employees/employers.]

Doesnt same goes for men? If a woman gives it up too quickly, you guys wouldnt work as hard. lol!

p.s. I'm not saying we should all be calculating and only be nice to someone because he/she would do something beneficial to ourselves. But people (even animals) can sense that if you always go out of your way to help them. And we always know who to mess with and who not, because again, we are highly adaptive and intelligent. :) :)

You need to READ, READ, READ carefully and chill out. It is exactly what you described here, "the exact opposite of societal tendencies to reciprocate."


Thank you! x

I mostly point people in right direction and let them go through the learning curve themselves.

I'm not reading all those long boring posts ...

Again, this is why i said you are retarded. You want to sound smart but you completely confuse two entirely different ideas as you lecture as the expert. Using your own example, "The Ben Franklin Effect" is an observation of peoples tendency to reciprocate. I.e. - you do something really nice for me, and I then feel obligated to do something really nice for you. This is part of the glue that holds a society together, where you basically earn social credits that can be redeemed in your time of need.

That has absolutely NOTHING to do with the observation that if I do something for you, you then have a greater tendency to be more lazy and expect others to continue to keep doing for you, even to the point of creating dependence, instead of you doing for yourself... which is exactly what the OP was talking about.

So think you need to "READ READ READ" as my comprehension not only of written English but of the fundamentals of psychology and sociology is just fine.

:2 cents:

the problem is they don't do anything in return :mad:

yesterday I get an email from an account rep to put together a stats report for one of their clients, which they could of easily done with 2 mouse clicks. whatever, its easier for me to do it then explain it 5 times. its broken down by day over the last 30 days with the last column showing totals

I send it to her then she asks "I only need it for the last week, can you remove the other 21 days?" Instead I just tell her retarded ass to DELETE the fucking rows in Excel. Being stupid, she then sends it to the customer but doesn't update the totals column

I get an email this morning saying "[me], you did this wrong! The customer is mad that we can't get them the right numbers. Please fix it and send it back ASAP." Now keep in mind this is pretty fucking basic, a 8 year old with brain damage could figure it out... but worse, she copies my boss on the email

WTF?!? Why are people so fucking stupid. I try to help with something now I'm caught in the middle of this BS :mad:

I HATE stupid people :2 cents:

or tell the other men to stay the fuck out of your life, and keep your fish to yourself, hiding yourself and your fish far away from other idiots looking to steal your fish and fuck your wife! :1orglaugh

I know I am wrong and I am being a dick and to all i apologize. I thought that nick was SallyRand - i was just trying to push his buttons a little before realizing its probably not him... and even worse, before realizing that I misread things.

My bad :(

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Apology accepted! :)

I really appreciate your sincerity to admit your mistakes and then apologize. It's a very good quality! :D

p.s. I'm not Sally Rand.

That sucks! I dont like stupid people too. But since you work with some and you just pretty much HAVE to deal with them. Not that it would help, but perhaps changing your attitude to think, God was nice to make you intelligent (instead of stupid) and be happy because at least you have a ton to offer and do not need to be a user like the people at your office. :)

Thanks. I am not even sure why i thought you were that guy. I think someone else was saying it when listing all his fake nicks the other day.

Because a couple days ago when I started a thread introducing myself, someone started saying I was a fat guy pretending to be a girl then everyone was saying I was Sally. Lol

It's all good now :)!

Does this mean we don't get to see your tits?

QFT :thumbsup:thumbsup:thumbsup