What The Fuck Is This World Coming To?
 

so i've been a little stressed lately and decided i would go get a massage.. its been quite some time since i have been. anyway, there is a massage place down the road from my house and decided to go there. its in the back of a strip mall, but looks very professional from the outside. so i go in and there is a nice lady behind the counter, she asks me if i have been there before and i tell her no. the first thing she asked me is what i did for a living, which i thought was odd. she told me i looked like a policeman which i found even odder because i have longer hair, but i'm in pretty good shape so maybe thats why she asked. normally at massage places they ask you to fill out a questionnaire, but she just said wait right here i will be right back. she comes back out with 3 girls and tells me i could pick one. this must be a family because because everyone in the place was asian. anyway i had a hard time picking because without knowing their qualifications, how could i know which girl was best. maybe one was good at deep tissue but not swedish message. i ending up settling on a girl that looked like she had good hands. she took me in the back to one of the massage rooms and told me to get comfortable. i like to be naked when i get massaged, so i took off my clothes and got on the table and covered up with a towel. the girl came in and started to put oil on me and give me a message. i have to tell you this was one of the worst messages i have ever gotten. after like 10 minutes she asks me to turn over onto my back and then asks me if i want happy ending. of course i wanted a happy ending this was the worst message ever, so i said yes. instead of giving me a happy ending, she pulls my towel off, puts some lotion on her hands and starts grabbing my cock. i was mortified. i got off the table, put my clothes on, and stormed out. i told the lady at the front desk that i dont where they went to message school, but in this country you dont just go grabbing guys cocks. i think thats illegal.

anyway, stay away from asian massage parlors. they dont know how to massage worth shit... :2 cents:






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Voted 1, Comedy Cramps.

I'd have given you a 3 if you were raped by a tranny.

Next time format your copy/paste. It would be funnier. :2 cents:

i wrote that fuck face...



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sorry are you a gay? :D

i mean girl jrkng your cock is not that bad

thats how you get aids bro..




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I saw before your edit. Yikes man. Don't be so mad, just sayin :winkwink:

Not one of your best efforts. I expect more from you.

i cant talk about that until the police investigation is finished..

the detectives said it could hurt the case...




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You can't be that naive!

thats like telling da vinci he didnt paint the mona lisa... :2 cents:




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what do you mean?

that i shouldnt expect quality service from an asian owned business?

are you racist or something?




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Those asian places are a rip-off, they always charge extra to piss on the girls.

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i think you meant to say kiss and i dont really think that kissing your message therapist is appropriate asian or otherwise.. :2 cents:





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ive got a friend who is totally into that but he makes sure to squeeze in a solid 40 minute message before she jerks him off.