So my mom is moving in with me. . .
 

This should be interesting.

To make a long story short she is elderly (71 years old) and had some health problems that led to her having to have some IV antibiotics given to her. Those things wreck your system and sap your strength. She has been in a nursing home for a couple of weeks while getting the treatment and gets out this week. We decided she would stay with me for 1-2 months while she got her strength back and then decided what she wanted to do. If she felt good enough to live on her own again we would start looking for a place for her to rent. If she felt she would need some assistance long term we would start looking for an assisted living type place.

I spent the weekend cleaning out my spare bedroom and a special motorized bed is getting delivered tomorrow that will help her get in and out of bed easier.

I guess the girlfriend and I will have put naked movie Tuesdays on hold for a little while :)

I said and did more or less the same thing and the 2 months became 2 years lol

That is my one worry. I am worried she will like it here and for whatever reason she will not want to leave. She says she wants to live on her own and is motivated to get a place of her own or into a place where she can get some help, but I guess I will be finding out for sure.

Props for being human. So many people turn the blind eye on elderly family.

:2 cents:

And you give me shit...

Seriously though.. good luck!

i hear ya dude ive had similar things happen, always in the end though remember who these people are that youre helping, how much they love you and that life isn't forever

nothing is wrong with changing your life a bit to help out an aging parent, especially considering how much our parents change their lives to accommodate kids

yep. She didn't even want to ask. She just said to me "When they let me out they will need to find a place for me to go until I get my strength back." She lives a few hours from me so I told her I was going to talk to my brother and we would come up with a plan. When I told her that she could stay with me she broke down crying with relief. It was pretty gut wrenching.

good luck with that

yup, happens so often, we let my mother stay in her own place, just sort of hovered, so she could retain her independence:thumbsup

You need to get some help.

See if you can find someone close by that can help for some extra cash.

I was just gonna say that.

She got here yesterday and so far things are fine. She appears to be able to do most things for herself. I'll be doing her laundry and making meals for the next week or so, but she says she is feeling better than she did even a 3-4 days ago. I have a feeling, in the end, she will likely need to go into one of those places where she lives on her own, but they have people on call to help if she needs it.

Good for you brother! i will end up doing the same when the time comes for my folks. My grandmother lived with me when I was a kid for the last year of her life. Was hard to watch but at the same time I still remember the time we spent together. I wouldn't trade that for the world.

family is important

Nice, take care of Mom :thumbsup

you're the best son ever for doing what is right for your mommy. since neither your mom nor you plan on this living situation becoming permanent, i would suggest letting her know that you and your brother are taking the next steps off her plate so she doesnt stress. tell her that the two of you will research all the senior living options in areas near you guys or near her last residence if she prefers. that way everyone knows there is a plan in motion and you will all be ready when she is strong enough to move. wishing your mom a full and speedy recovery :)

In a way we did that. We told her we will start looking into the different options that are in this general area so she knows what she has to choose from when she feels the time is right. Also, if she wants to visit any of them we will take here there. She seemed happy that we were doing that because this whole thing has been kind of overwhelming for her.

just keep doing your naked movie tuesdays then... :)

My next home purchase will have a guest house.

My mother moved in with my sister. I made it 150% clear to my sister that hell would ever freeze over before my mother would even be allowed to crash at my house. My dad, OTOH, could move in tomorrow and I'd be (almost)fine with it.

good that you're taking all the stress off of her because stress keeps us sick/weak so much longer. now she can focus on rest and healing. again, you really are an extraordinary person for stepping up to the plate in this day and age when most kids are selfish/self centered and don't help their parents in their senior years the way you are.

Huge props for being a man and taking care of your elderly mother. Even though it's very clearly the right thing to do, you'd be surprised how many people would find excuses for why they simply couldn't do it.

Your mother took care of you, presumably, for at least the first 16 years of your life. Paying her back with a few months of taking care of her for a few months shouldn't be a huge burden.

Well done.

That's really sweet that you're stepping up to the plate. Your mom raised a good son. :thumbsup

I was joking with her last night. She was eating and talking to me and I started laughing. I reminded how things clearly have changed. When I was growing up she was all over my brother and I about not talking with out mouths full and now she was doing it. It was like the roles had reversed.

You love your mother. This is good.

what a good son. you should be proud of yourself, serious though..

you might consider a live in person. if the budget calls for it.. lets her live in her own place and at the same time have help, assisted living places are often 1 nurse to 20 people.
my grandma was at one, 1 nurse to 40 people.. and a lot of other illegal stuff which my mom sued the shit out of them for and won.

just do your research, visit her often and pay attention to the workers and all that
dont mean to you scare you from it just saying those places do have bad reps

damn. poor mum. you better not make her feel bad dude. shes probably scared to be on her own. aside from her health its got to be bad being close to the end and not having anyone living with you as she has had most of her life (assuming)

she obviously knows living with you has its downfall, on you.. but youre doing the right thing..

A friend of mine's dad lived in this place that was a small apartment complex of about 10 units. He lived on his own, but they had onsite help 24/7 that you just had to either call or push a button for. So about once a week they came and helped him do his laundry and they would help him reach things if needed. He was in a wheelchair and had limited mobility from a stroke, but he seemed to really like living there. If I can find it I think that might be what we end up doing.

Prior to her getting sick she did fine on her own other than some mobility issues. I have a feeling she will get back to that place again so I think, now that she has this taken care of, she could live a pretty long, healthy life. She was pretty scared because this was the first time in her life she has really had to depend on someone else to care for her.

Ask if your mom wants to join ;)

Nice of you to be able to do this ...

Count every single day she is with you, alive and well, as a blessing. Once they're gone that's it forever. You will look back on this and be proud of yourself for doing this. Plus, your mother will love you even more than she does now. Nice job man!!

Good for you, maybe get a family bottle of Valiums for when things get too close for comfort.

All bullshit and wacky comments aside, and trust me I had a few, the most manly thing a guy can do is take care of his mother/father. Be proud of yourself. You're a good man.

.

I know I was giving you shit in your other thread, but I gotta say this. Good on you dude. Taking care of your Mother is more than commendable, it's awesome.

Good luck and I hope all turns well.

Welcome to the club. You're a Mensch.
They're our moms and likely sacrificed a lot. Good on ya for stepping up!

that's nice but people act as if this is unusual - i don't know anybody who would not do the same unless they're estranged from family, i know a few of those.

My mom pulled her back out last week and moved in here for the week until she felt better. Was really nice having her around - most of the time. :)

How do you know that your Moms wouldn't want to watch along with you and your girlfriend?

Could be good therapy for her... :winkwink: :helpme :error

ADG

Good for you.

Your doing the right thing :)