You may live in Canada if...
 

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .


If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .


If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .


If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada ..


If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada .


If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada .


If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada ..


If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada ..


If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada .


If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada .


If you carry jumper cables in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .


If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada .


If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 95 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada .


If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada ..


If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction,
You may live in Canada .


If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .


If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .


If you actually understand these jokes,
and forward them to all
your friends, you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.


(Jeff Foxworthy jokes)
:1orglaugh

lol damn it, all hit too close to home...

This is usually the only assistance you will receive in Home Depot

I must admit.. I LOL'd at most of these, and there were many a "yeah I can't argue with that" comments.

Oh, so many things to enjoy! I LOVE CANADA!:thumbsup:thumbsup:thumbsup

Haha! Well... living in Northern Minnesota for so many years, I can actually relate to a lot of these...

Some good ones

Um...
If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,

If you lived in Canada it would me kilometers not miles. Just sayin

I actually got my first girlfriend when she randomly crank called my house. Yes, I'm Canadian.

If once a week you bitch on gfy about exchange rates.
You're a webmaster in Canada.

:1orglaugh

ahahaha sooooooooo goood!!!!

Makes me almost miss home...

:1orglaugh i had no idea you were canadian

Hell yeah
:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

brings back memories of living in ottawa, edmonton and halifax ...

If you look through the fridge to find maple syrup to put on your hawaiian pizza... which you then eat with a knife and fork....
You must be a Canadian.



.

If you are mad about not getting ketchup with your french fries, then you don't live
in Canada. You're visiting from America.

:1orglaugh

Canadians are lost Kansasans
 

Hate to say this, but there are places in Kansas & Missouri like this

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .

MORE JUST NOVEMBER-MARCH

If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada .

THE 8 HOUR DRIVE FROM KC TO DENVER, JUST TO GO TO MOUNTAINS


If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada ..

MY FRONT YARD

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada ..

HAD A TRAILER AND WORKED NIGHTS. I COULD ONLY GET TO SLEEP WITH THE HEAT & ELECTRIC BLANKET ON AT 8 AM, BY NOON THE A/C HAD TO KICK ON TO PREVENT IT GETTING TO 150 F

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada .

DAMN COMBINES DON'T HAVE SPEEDOMETERS. WHO KNOWS HOW FAST WE'RE GOING.


If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada .

GIRLFRIEND LEAVES FRONT DOOR OPEN ALL NIGHT FOR 'AIR FLOW.' COME ON IN MR. MANSON.


If you carry jumper cables in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .

HER NEXT PROJECT IS REPLACING VALVE COER GASKETS. TOLD HER THE CAR SMELLED OF OIL THE PAST FEW MONTHS.


IIf the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 95 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada .

MY MOTHER BITCHES ABOUT PEOPLE PASSING HER. WHEN SHE'S 15 MPH OVER THE SPEED LIMIT

If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada ..

HERE, THE POLITICIANS GIVE SEMINARS TO CHICAGO & NYC POLITICIANS, ON HOW TO STEAL MONEY & GET THE 'PEOPLE' TO LOVE YOU AND KEEP REELECTING YOU.


If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction,
You may live in Canada .

THANK GOD WE HAVE 4 SEASONS. AS FOR ROAD CONSTRUCTION, DIDN'T ADAM HAVE TROUBLE WITH THAT AND IN THE YEAR 2525, THERE WILL STILL BE ROAD CONSTRICTION IN THIS TOWN.


If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .


If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .

GETTING OLD. ANYTHING UNDER 90 F IS FUCKING COLD


If you actually understand these jokes,
and forward them to all
your friends, you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.

HEY, I LOVE RED/GREEN. JUST CAN'T BELIEVE HE WASN'T FROM KANSAS.

not anymore now we love them

Lol spot On!!!

shit! where'd the 'like' button go?

I don't know any place in Canada that doesn't serve ketchup with fries. You must have been in some sort of crack town.

Weird Canadians put poutine on their fries! Not bad tasting, but I'll keep my ketchup!