Enough FUCKING Birthday Parties Already
 

Every other fucking weekend I have some kid or some friend of a friends bday party to go to and I'm getting ANNOYED!!!

My whole weekend is SHOT because of stupid birthday parties. Let me give you some advice from the guy who is 31 with no kids and enjoys going out to the bars Friday and Saturday and looks forward to laying on the couch watching football on Sunday hung over as fuck and thinking "I cant believe I did that this weekend" and "I really wish I remember past 11pm on Saturday."

RULES!

1) Unless you are a blood relative, NEVER send out invites to your child's birthday party past the age of 1. No one enjoys going to these, they are annoying and I highly doubt your fucking kid who is turning 3 will know the difference if my hung over ass is there or not or even remember this event 6 months later.

2) If you are going to have a 1st birthday for your child, invite people WELL in advance. Dont send a facebook message to me 10 days before and remind me the day before about it. I only check fb when I take a shit, therefore never see invites.

3) If you are planning a birthday party for yourself... STOP!!! This means you have NO friends and no one is going to want to go anyway, so stop the pain of asking people who are kind of friends with you and now feel bad if they dont go. If you had friends, they would plan a party.

4) When planning a party, DO FUCKING NOT have it over a holiday weekend, especially Halloween, New Years or in the month of March. Nothing pisses me off more when I get a birthday invite to some cousin of a friend, who my wife feels obligated to go to, that happens to be on FUCKING HALLOWEEN!!!! Halloween is the greatest time of the year, there is no other time when it is socially acceptable for girls to dress like whores. DONT RUIN IT FOR ME!!!!

5) If you must have a party for yourself, which means you ask someone to plan it (again, you have no friends) do NOT make it start at fucking 9pm on a Friday or Saturday night at some suit and tie restaurant in the middle of no where that it takes everyone an hour to drive to.

6) Party timelines:
6a) Childs birthday parties can start no earlier than noon and for no reason (unless there are strippers and/or a lot of hot girls) last past 6pm
6b) Adult parties can not start after 6pm and should have have "goes until 9pm-ish" on the invite.
* Unless they are at a bar where 80% of the invitees frequently visit and has a good crowd
6c) Dont expect a gift from me, or to your kids if I do not show up.

Lastly... 7) the ONLY party you are allowed to plan for yourself is a wedding or "I just won the lottery and giving all sorts of money and shit away" but keep those during the afternoon and do not exceed the 6pm limit.

:thumbsup:thumbsup:thumbsup

Saturday is my dog's birthday. I'll expect you to be there with bone in hand. Check your facebook for details.

LOL dude you seem to have a lot of anger/frustration. I hope this is just your way of venting so you aren't pissed all the time.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh pretty much. I work with a bunch of retarded adults who can barely figure out how to do their job, so there is a lot of anger and frustration around me all day long.

I vent on here because none of my family and only a small hand few of friends are on here. Last time I posted a gripe on FB about my wifes cousin and her changing around this dinner event she was planning for herself half a dozen times... I think it was something like "stick to a date already! I need to know if I have to go to the store or not for dinner!" but was a joke, but her entire family got on my case about it :1orglaugh

Wait until you have kids, and your kids have sixty friends. Every weekend there is a party. Toss in your kid's sports events, and your weekends are fucked.

LOL I can only imagine.

I had a kid because I got so tired of that and not even having my own kid and having to always do these kid party things. I know. lol.

But tomorrow we are going to a potluck dinner party based on that epic mealtime, so everything is supposed to be like wrapped in bacon. I think we are going to make extreme spicy giant turkey hotwings. Should be fun I hope. I might even drink booze. woopdeedoo lol

This is the kind of shit that happens when you get married

where do potlucks fall? is that 'creating a party for yourself'?

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! :helpme

This has been going on for years now. Everytime I have to go to one of these things, like this fucking self thrown party tonight that is going to interfere with my drinking and fun time, I act like a dick.

But why would I be so rude? Because I dont like these people and I want them to know that... but instead, they keep inviting me? I cant win :disgust

just don't go.

Don't worry, it's probably the same and worse on the other side.

Guy: "Do we HAVE to invite that selfish idiot bossku AGAIN? He is so goddamn annoying. I dont want him in my house."
Girl: "I know that prick really needs an enema he's so full of shit, but it'll be a family uprising if I don't invite his wife.."