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-   -   A guy's date spreadsheet (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=1065239)

cthulhu_waves 04-19-2012 11:07 AM

A guy's date spreadsheet
 
As much as people hate to hear it, dating for guys is totally a numbers game. The number of women approached, the digits gotten, the dates had, etc. Sure, you can affect your numbers by being more attentive and reactive to the specific woman. But far and away, the best practice is just to do what you do and rack up the numbers. So this makes perfect sense.

Some guy kept a meticulous chart of women he met on Match.com and elsewhere. He logged everything from ?online appearance? to how ?jappy? they were (?jappy? being a variation of ?Jewish American Princess?). Jezebel actually tracked him down, and his excuse was ?I work with spreadsheets a lot.?

http://s3-ak.buzzfed.com/static/enha...4849547-37.jpg

http://s3-ak.buzzfed.com/static/enha...4849563-34.jpg

http://s3-ak.buzzfed.com/static/enha...4849580-10.jpg

pimpmaster9000 04-19-2012 11:20 AM

a notebook option to match.com so that people can manage their dates better would be needed...still very fascinating how much effort people put in to this stuff....

porno jew 04-19-2012 11:22 AM

if that's how you approach love and life just kill yourself now.

porno jew 04-19-2012 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyClips (Post 18896492)
I used to do the same thing

why am i not surprised.

alias 04-19-2012 11:22 AM

I'd probably just go fuck some strippers or get a hooker.

raymor 04-19-2012 11:24 AM

I did the same thing, slightly less organized. I was looking for that one-in-a-million woman I want to spend my whole life with. It makes since to pay attention and takes at first when you're meeting a bunch of new people because marriage or even long term dating is kind of a big deal.

porno jew 04-19-2012 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymor (Post 18896523)
I did the same thing, slightly less organized. I was looking for that one-in-a-million woman I want to spend my whole life with. It makes since to pay attention and takes at first when you're meeting a bunch of new people because marriage or even long term dating is kind of a big deal.

did you put a target on her picture?

porno jew 04-19-2012 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymor (Post 18896523)
I did the same thing, slightly less organized. I was looking for that one-in-a-million woman I want to spend my whole life with. It makes since to pay attention and takes at first when you're meeting a bunch of new people because marriage or even long term dating is kind of a big deal.

a huge part of love is randomness and spontaneity that transcends reason. that is it's joy.

true love takes you outside of yourself and your analytical mind.

if love is reduced to a spreadsheet you are a dead soul. sorry.

onwebcam 04-19-2012 11:29 AM

I prefer to just spread them on my sheets.

HomerSimpson 04-19-2012 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porno jew (Post 18896514)
if that's how you approach love and life just kill yourself now.

:thumbsup:thumbsup

alias 04-19-2012 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porno jew (Post 18896537)
a huge part of love is randomness and spontaneity that transcends reason. that is it's joy.

true love takes you outside of yourself and your analytical mind.

if love is reduced to a spreadsheet you are a dead soul. sorry.

Quoted for troof.

BlackCrayon 04-19-2012 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porno jew (Post 18896537)
a huge part of love is randomness and spontaneity that transcends reason. that is it's joy.

true love takes you outside of yourself and your analytical mind.

if love is reduced to a spreadsheet you are a dead soul. sorry.

the problem with that is that people tend to ignore certain traits about a person during the new and exciting part of a relationship which often leads to it ending later on because the person wasn't aware enough of what kind of person they were actually getting involved with.

porno jew 04-19-2012 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon (Post 18896558)
the problem with that is that people tend to ignore certain traits about a person during the new and exciting part of a relationship which often leads to it ending later on because the person wasn't aware enough of what kind of person they were actually getting involved with.

sometimes. not always. sure you can get burned by love. that's how it is. trying to reduce the risk by a spreadsheet is ridiculous though.

are you trying to find love or make a business investment?

i guess you can love anything. money. a couch. a tv. but to call that "love" is dumb.

SuckOnThis 04-19-2012 11:42 AM

I can't believe people have turned getting laid and finding someone into some kind of 8 hour a day career. Whatever happened to going to a fucking party, getting drunk and letting the chips fall where they may?

Socks 04-19-2012 11:42 AM

This looks way too Asian for me.

KillerK 04-19-2012 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porno jew (Post 18896572)
sometimes. not always. sure you can get burned by love. that's how it is. trying to reduce the risk by a spreadsheet is ridiculous though.

are you trying to find love or make a business investment?

i guess you can love anything. money. a couch. a tv. but to call that "love" is dumb.

So is marrying your dog

porno jew 04-19-2012 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuckOnThis (Post 18896576)
I can't believe people have turned getting laid and finding someone into some kind of 8 hour a day career. Whatever happened to going to a fucking party, getting drunk and letting the chips fall where they may?

could you imagine going to some chicks house and when she goes to the bathroom you see a spreadsheet of guys on the computer?

i would check for heads in the refrigerator and a hammer hidden behind the couch before proceeding.

SuckOnThis 04-19-2012 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KillerK (Post 18896579)
So is marrying your dog


My dog deserves half my shit more so than 99.9999% of the women on this planet.

porno jew 04-19-2012 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KillerK (Post 18896579)
So is marrying your dog

that makes no sense. i take it you make spreadsheets of potential lovers as well?

Sly 04-19-2012 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuckOnThis (Post 18896576)
I can't believe people have turned getting laid and finding someone into some kind of 8 hour a day career. Whatever happened to going to a fucking party, getting drunk and letting the chips fall where they may?

Which option do you think gets laid more?

LeRoy 04-19-2012 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Socks (Post 18896577)
This looks way too Asian for me.

My guess is Korean :thumbsup

Refs to K-Town in there :winkwink:

porno jew 04-19-2012 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sly (Post 18896593)
Which option do you think gets laid more?

quality over quantity.

i'd rather have 1 spontaneous affair over a hundred that i methodically tracked down like a serial killer.

SuckOnThis 04-19-2012 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porno jew (Post 18896586)
could you imagine going to some chicks house and when she goes to the bathroom you see a spreadsheet of guys on the computer?

i would check for heads in the refrigerator and a hammer hidden behind the couch before proceeding.


Nothing surprises me anymore. It would certainly take any thoughts of sex out of the equation, she probably would have hidden cameras so she could analyze it all later.

SuckOnThis 04-19-2012 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sly (Post 18896593)
Which option do you think gets laid more?

And which do you think would be more fun sexually, someone you spontaneously met and had chemistry with or a situation where you were pretending to be at a car dealership?

porno jew 04-19-2012 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuckOnThis (Post 18896614)
Nothing surprises me anymore. It would certainly take any thoughts of sex out of the equation, she probably would have hidden cameras so she could analyze it all later.

nothing kills a boner more than split testing.

d-null 04-19-2012 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alias (Post 18896516)
I'd probably just go fuck some strippers or get a hooker.

:2 cents::2 cents::thumbsup

BareBacked 04-19-2012 12:52 PM

I was thinking about making an app/site to handle all this shit for men.

Who can remember the name of some chicks cat you are just looking to bang

jimmycooper 04-19-2012 01:05 PM

I knew it was from NYC as soon as I saw 'jappy'.

jimmycooper 04-19-2012 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porno jew (Post 18896622)
nothing kills a boner more than split testing.

You're just bitter b/c there's not enough talent in Nunavut to fill a spreadsheet.

porno jew 04-19-2012 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimmycooper (Post 18896774)
You're just bitter b/c there's not enough talent in Nunavut to fill a spreadsheet.

go try and find another check cashing joint to cash your minimum payment checks "playa." :1orglaugh

jimmycooper 04-19-2012 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porno jew (Post 18896785)
go try and find another check cashing joint to cash your minimum payment checks "playa." :1orglaugh

lol. Come again?

DatingFactory 05-02-2012 10:43 AM

Funny post!

kate27 05-02-2012 01:05 PM

brilliant.. I had gotten this forwarded recently from a girlfriend who knew the girl he sent this to. can't blame him too much if it's just at the dating level! only if it got serious with some of the girls..

SleazyDream 05-02-2012 01:12 PM

the really nice things about a dating site is you find out great info up front what the person is really into - and don't have to change your life too much to fit into theirs. You don't get that very often randomly meeting people.

PayOut Magazine 05-02-2012 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porno jew (Post 18896514)
if that's how you approach love and life just kill yourself now.

I agree. That's a bit over the top.

CDSmith 05-02-2012 01:30 PM

If you're going to meet and be dating dozens of women at a time on a dating site a dude's got to keep track of it somehow.

Kudos to him.

Tom_PM 05-02-2012 01:34 PM

Surprised there's no column for amount spent on date or something along those lines.

Choopa_Pardo 05-02-2012 01:36 PM

Where's the column to track when he saw their boobs/how their boobs rated from 1-10.

VenusBlogger 05-02-2012 01:37 PM

Only a NERD IDIOT can do something like that, seriously.

What a piece of shit.

And NO, Dating is NOT A NUMBERS game. If you believe that, you are more NERD than The Wizzard of ODDS, who happens to be GAY.

Period.

CDSmith 05-03-2012 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VenusBlogger (Post 18924627)
Only a VERY ENTERPRISING INDIVIDUAL can do something like that, seriously.

What a piece of shit I am for not thinking of it first.

And YES, Dating is TOTALLY A NUMBERS game. If you believe otherwise (like me), you are more NERD than Andy Dick, who happens to be GAY.

Period.

Fixed it for you.

steel820 05-03-2012 09:44 AM

Is there an app for that?

fuzebox 05-03-2012 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porno jew (Post 18896537)
a huge part of love is randomness and spontaneity that transcends reason. that is it's joy.

true love takes you outside of yourself and your analytical mind.

if love is reduced to a spreadsheet you are a dead soul. sorry.

Relying on "true love" is reckless :2 cents:

Rochard 05-03-2012 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cthulhu_waves (Post 18896481)
As much as people hate to hear it, dating for guys is totally a numbers game.

That's the truth. That's why I worked in fast food for so long. I had a full time job working at the phone company making decent money, but I worked a split shift and had from 11am till 2pm free so I worked at a Wienerschnitzel. I met a few hundred women every day, and set up dates constantly - I was a fucking manwhore.

In fact, that's how I met my wife.

IdealImageMgmt 05-03-2012 11:07 AM

This is pretty hilarious! But indeed, it is a numbers game and about racking up those points on score board. At the end of the day, all you can do is be yourself and go with confidence.

O MARINA 05-03-2012 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porno jew (Post 18896537)
a huge part of love is randomness and spontaneity that transcends reason. that is it's joy.

true love takes you outside of yourself and your analytical mind.

if love is reduced to a spreadsheet you are a dead soul. sorry.



Nice.
How did you fall in love?

Herb Kornfield 05-03-2012 11:21 AM

Last summer when I was tearing up dating sites hunting down babes, I had spreadsheets going with my stats, lol .....

My take: I have stats in my business to manage operations, fine tune where needed and gauge projects overall ... why not for my love life? ...

Dating 3 women full time and then running 4-5 new ones to see who's up next is confusing at times...

I learned the hard way you can not keep up that pace. This year, I am with just one person and no longer the wildman that I was .. Hate on it if you want, but, I had a GREAT time and made it clear to the babes how I rolled: Im in this for the party and fun. Not to be your boyfriend or your husband.. I'm looking to party and enjoy life.

A lot of divorced Moms out there in the 35-42 range. They are perfectly fine with a stunt cock for the nights / weekends the kids are with dad and not in their hair.... They also dont want a full time thing as who knows what they got running :) :pimp

MarkDeus 05-03-2012 11:29 AM

I only have one list:

-Girls I want to fuck
-Girls I've fucked


and it's all in my head. Leaving this around could be dangerous.

O MARINA 05-03-2012 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herb Kornfield (Post 18927303)

Dating 3 women full time and then running 4-5 new ones to see who's up next is confusing at times...



"Real men are like wolves, either solo or with a she-wolf forever. Chasing a piece of lamb is for the sheep bahhhhhh bahhh". (Translated from some Russian saying :upsidedow)


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