Ever been caught wanking by your partner*?
 

recently my wife caught me knocking one out to some shitty late night porn when I thought she was asleep.

she's extra hormonal at the moment due to being up the duff hence why i was resorting to late night wankery in the first place. but how long am i expected to put up with her 'being in a mood'?

surely its her own fault anyway?


*i stated partner in the subject to see if samesex partners get extra ratty...

you have no life if you have to keep it a secret.

Until you can catch wanking back...easier said than done, you'd need to get the spy cams in. Stream them here so as we can help you monitor

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-VOUD13dn-o...nock+first.jpg

Tell your wife that beating off to gay porn is just a phase you're going through...she'll understand. :winkwink:



Two words = Mutual Masturbation :jerkoff

http://cdn04.cdnwp.thefrisky.com/wp-...-m-200x142.jpg

:stoned

ADG

I caught myself every single time ...

Divorce will be your only way out of this, but first try it with flowers and chocolate. :winkwink:

I know every creak of every floorboard in my house.

I'll wank it with her sleeping next to me. I don't give a fuck. She doesn't seem to mind.. less work for her. :winkwink:

True story. Don't go down the apologetic path, go on the aggressive. She is waiting for you to tell her how sorry you and and that it will never happen again and here's some expensive gift she didn't do anything to deserve. Bullshit.

Tell her she needs to get over it. Everybody does it, including her when her hormones aren't making her nuts. It isn't a negative reflection on her, you're going to continue to do it, its a normal thing and she needs to not get her panties in a wad over it.

This guy knows what hes talking about, man up and tell them they shouldn't complaining they should be begging to give a helping hand.

Honestly, if your partner gets mad at that...youre doomed.

wait until she falls asleep and jizz on her face.. she will fucking love that.

They all get wigged out because they feel it is a reflection on them. Tell her to get used to it.

Tell her you wanted something tight for a change.

.

Well she is pregnant so she's not the best person to argue with :)) LOL

But in all honesty... she should realize its better than cheating on her when she doesnt want to have sex with you, try to ask her what she'd preffer - you fuck your hand or some other chick :)

the reaction was worse than when i held the covers over head after a monster fart.

who needs dear deadrie when you have the gfy community?

looks like someone's waking up tomorrow with jizz in their face. updates to follow...

If you have to masturbate it means she is not doing a good job as a partner. If she did a good job, you wouldn't have to do it yourself.

It's her fault, not yours. You have to let her know. If you can't it's better to find a better partner.

cool story bro

do it in the shower

:1orglaugh

She's not been properly trained. Finishing you off with her hand or mouth is the proper reaction.

During the late stages of her pregnancy, my wife even offered to get me a Fleshlight, among other things. She made sure that I was taken care of, I'll give her that.

That's why it's important to introduce porn and jerking off in your sex routine as early in a relationship as possible, especially if you have anything to do with this industry. If they have problem with it, you can dump 'em quick.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

sound advice indeed. the day before our wedding (yeah kinda late to end it now!) I was finalising the arrangements for a pornstar endorsement for one of our brands (Lana Cox and Lee Henshaw - pleasure to work with btw)

that didnt seem to bother her at all. if this carries on I may sneak some vaginal tightening cream into her handbag...

My girlfriend didn't feel like going at it one night, so I said ok no problem and proceeded to jack off in the bed right next to her. This made her mad! So what's a fella to do? She said no, I respected it, and "took matters into my own hand" so to speak. :disgust

I have literally no idea why anyone would care if you're masturbating.

Who has caught there wife at it ?

I know, right?!

This is why I am not in a relationship .....

I wanna wank or fuck when i want and dont want my sex life to be at the mercy of someone who does not have my sex drive

but yes ... i have been caught by a my ex when we lived together

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

When she wants it, she interrupts whatever I am doing to unzip or partially undress me.

The only time I ever got caught was in the shower. The GF was asleep and had some stuff I had to that day early so I got up and was in the shower. I decided to start the day off with a pull. I'm just getting into it when she walks in. The shower has a glass door so there is nowhere to hide and she sees me.

She says, "If you were horny you could have woke me up and I would have jerked you off or something." I tell her that she looked so peaceful asleep I didn't want to wake her. She sighed and said, "That might be the sweetest thing you ever said."

We had a good laugh about it then a few months later the role was reversed and I caught her in the shower using the shower head in a very intimate way.

I caught my gf humping a pillow for obvious reasons once.

Was fairly awesome...

LOL that would rock.

In my GF's defense I wasn't home. I had been gone all day. She got off work and decided to take a shower. I came home while she was in there. I walked into the bathroom to tell her I was home so she didn't hear someone in the house and freak out and when I walked in she had the shower head on pulse and was having a very good time with it.

I said, "I don't want to interrupt, please don't stop, I just wanted you to know I was home so you didn't hear me and think it was a break in or something."

She screamed, jumped back, dropped the shower head and water started shooting in all directions. It was pretty funny.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

When I was 12 I walked in on my friend's older sister fucking herself with a brush handle spread eagle in the bathtub. She yanked it out and threw it at me, hit the medicine cabinet mirror instead which exploded and within a few seconds the whole family is there laughing.

LOL. That didn't turn out as she had planned :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

She probably hasn't masturbated since.

wasn't her mouth working? Didn't want to give you a hand? :winkwink:

Up the duff?

Anyway, I'd tell her to either leave the room or help if she walked in.

Jizzing on her face wakes her up.

It's better to jizz in her hair. She wont realize it until morning, when she brushes her hair and notices something is wrong.

Thread bookmarked to show wife.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

recently!

Just say you were thinking of her and she won't be upset

nope never... hah

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r...-diaz-hair.jpg

Bookmarking this thread. Makings of a classic! :thumbsup

:stoned

ADG

Fiddy wanking....