I had sex in the kitchen
 

As you may or may not know my mom was living with me for a while. She has moved into an assisted living center. My brother is getting divorced and is going to stay with me for a while but he isn't moving in for a few more weeks. So last night the girlfriend and I are watching a movie and messing around. She suggests that since time alone in this house seems to be non-existent we should do it in the kitchen just because we can.

I have to admit, it wasn't as cool as it looks in porn. The freaking tile floor is hard and I bruised my shin, she nearly fell off the counter when I set her up on it and as I had her on the counter and was thrusting away I smacked my balls into the handle on the dishwasher.

We both ended up laughing more than anything else.

Clearly being a pornstar is a talent.

you should take away your balls out in the kitchen :winkwink:

sex in the kitchen ? like in a porn movie ?
So now, ask your girlfriend to do the same thing as in this picture:

http://i.minus.com/jBSFLtW01FHIH.jpg

that is hands on directing.:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Next time make her start cooking. Then do it standing up while shes making a meal. Its a win win!

Not a bad idea. . . the problem is she might be the worst cook ever. She can make mac n cheese, but that is about it.:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Try it while she's cooking bacon. :thumbsup

http://images.indiebound.com/283/052/9781580052283.jpg

Sounds like you and your wifey both need to spend more time in the kitchen - her cooking, and you basting...practice makes perfect! :winkwink: :thumbsup

:food-smil02

ADG

Remind me not to eat off your counter :1orglaugh

Bro, I stay positive & so should you.

Instead of "freaking tile floor is hard and I bruised my shin, she nearly fell off the counter when I set her up on it and as I had her on the counter and was thrusting away I smacked my balls into the handle on the dishwasher"

May I suggest:

This cum slut was so demanding of all my cock that I didn't even notice how I was pulverizing my lower leg as I fucked her hard on the tile.

I was demolishing that ass so badly that I barely noticed the repeated impact of my engorged sperm sack on the appliances."

Also, pics.

Dude, the next time you make a thread about having sex in the kitchen, don't start it off with "As you may or may not know my mom was living with me for a while". :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Pics or it didn't happen :pimp

:1orglaugh LoL :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

If you get tired of sex in the kitchen you could always read a book:

http://singleinatl.com/wp-content/up...inal-Cover.jpg

http://www.29-95.com/files/images/sex_book_cover.jpg

Of course, there is always sex on the beach:

http://i.imgur.com/jPoxI.jpg

Then you would probably be bitching about the sand getting in everything... :upsidedow :winkwink:

:food-smil02

ADG

what was the camera man doing?

:1orglaugh:thumbsup

you have a bedroom? turn on some music and bang out :2 cents:

bent over a table or counter is the only thing that ever really worked for me as far as kitchen sex goes.

Please cancel my roast beef with mayo on rye.

Also, CheeseFrog makes a very good point :)

Neuken in de keuken

I'm just glad your GF was there or this would be a much different thread...:winkwink:

This one is really cool :thumbsup

hehe, yeah, the kitchen isn't the most comfortable place for that.... hehehe

It should be served with bacon and eggs.

You should leave that stuff to pros.


Worst appliance I've done it on was a drying machine. All you heard is loud noises because it moves around, and the sides are goddamn cold.

DAMN! You beat me to it! That's EXACTLY what I was thinking as I started reading... Like, whaaaaaaaaaat?





.

:1orglaugh fun times :thumbsup

:1orglaugh

LOL you have a great point.

This was a case of too much information :)

So was she able to make you a sandwich at the same time?

LOL maybe your mom should come back home

nice share of experience!

Sadly, I did all the work and then bought her dinner. . . . greedy woman :)

i film girls in kitchens/bathrooms for the lighting and the audio comes out better in enclosed areas. its not practical or comfortable to do it on a hard cold dirty floor. leave it to the movies