What I should know before having a baby?How to prepare for it?
 

Hi.everyone. we want to have a baby. and I want to know somethings before having a baby. cut out smoking and drinking？ doing physical exercises? Do you have this experience? :1orglaugh

you do whatever you have to do to give the human you created the best possible love care and education until it becomes and adult

p.s get castrated

first of all u need to be a woman :2 cents:

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh :thumbsup nailed it

need a women .not need to be a women

get in shape...if you are over weight or lazy....then start fast walking every morning at 6am.
Kids require constant attention for the first few years. It is a lot of work.

I actually think we should be having kids around 18-22 years old, so we have full energy for them. Although this would require a better family unit then north americans usually have. You would need to live with the grandparents, or great grandparents so they could watch the babies, and allow the younger people time to still enjoy themselves.

Anyway...get some sleep, you will need it..lol

one parenting tip i can give.
when you are changing a diaper...have the new diaper open and ready to go on.
You need to minimize the time between diapers to keep your frontal area dry.

So, open, clean, switch. In a nice fluid motion...lol

good luck

First you're gonna have to find a uterus.

.

Only thing I had to to do make babies was fuck. We made three of them in three years doing it the old fashioned way.

^^ THIS


i prefer to lay the open one on top of my son before i even yank the old diaper all the way off. don't worry, once you get sprayed a couple times (assuming its a boy) you will figure it out

tip #2: make sure to always dry the ears as much as possible after baths

I employed the 'juke technique', that is pulling the tabs on the side of the diaper, lifting the front just enough for air to hit the necessary location and when the hydraulics commenced quickly lower the front back into its original combat position until the attack subsided

'once you get sprayed a couple of times'? You, the area around where you're changing him, the walls, the ceiling, some shrubs outside, in the crawlspace pretty much anyplace within the flight diameter of a remote controlled aircraft can get soaked if you're not careful :winkwink:

On point except for the last part.

Forget sleep.

100% forget sleep

Be prepared to change your life.

Give up smoking, get fit, if you're the mother stop or severely cut back on alcohol, processed food and anything that's not healthy. You are not eating for two, even at birth it's only 7-8 pounds. 5-10% of what you weigh.

Feed the baby naturally if possible, as little out of a can, bottle or anything processed for children. Keep it on a natural diet. from the beginning of the babies life stimulate him/her. Keep sugary drinks, sweets, foods etc out of reach. Don't sit the baby in front of the TV, talk, play and engage him/her.

This way you have some hope the baby won't grow up to be like so many here. :1orglaugh

Babies like cheese. Lots of it. Stock pile that shit bro! :thumbsup

Try not to kill it just because it's a girl.

This way you have some hope the baby won't grow up to be like so many here. :1orglaugh :thumbsup

thanks all of you! I'll tell it to my gf. :thumbsup

Get in shape. Babies keep you moving, and it's more fun if you are in shape.



Buy and read these books:

"What to Expect When You're Expecting",

"What to Expect the First Year".

and "Super Baby Food", (You should be making all of the babies food for them, no need for jar food).



Don't bother to buy clothes for the baby. Family and friends will provide plenty, and the baby will grow out of half of them before you even have a chance to put them on it.



Get plenty of diapers, plenty of wipes, and plenty of burpy cloths. You'll go through those faster than you can dream is possible.



Start reading to the baby in the womb, and keep it up once they are born.



Leave the damn TV off for the first year at least. Later, when they do watch, make sure you are with them and talking to them about what they are watching. Interact, don't just let them stare at it passively. Many studies link this to ADD later on in life.



See plenty of movies now, you won't be going to a movie theater any time soon.




Relax and have a great time! They require more attention than you can imagine, but they are also the most fun you can have in life.




:)






.

Stay out of the room when the baby is being born, if you stay you will never look at that pussy the same again.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Make more money, and prepare for Alimony

Buy earplugs and make a lot more money

Um blood tests for both male and female? Go see doctor??
pre-natal supplement called "Folic Acid"
http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/pubs/nu...folate-eng.php

DO NOT PREPARE ANYTHING. that is my best advice.

Anything you prepare isn't going to be the right thing for YOUR baby and isn't going to do you much good even if it is, they are all so vastly different.

If you want to prepare anything, prepare to have your heart broken at least a million times by the time you get old and gray, because that is the one thing that you are going to get no matter what kind of baby you have. lol

Be prepared to love it, feed it, treat it like a human being and not an ornament, never ever ever let it go to sleep one single night without giving it a big hug and let it know you are there no matter what kind of fucked up shit they decided to do to you that day, let them know always that you love them.

Spent TIME with them, that's all they really and truly want outside of food, your time and your heart... give it your time and your heart and the rest will fall right into place as it should.

I have raised 4 kids (2 boys and 2 girls) and this is my very best advice I can give you.

i still have my 1st ever used diaper in a box...

I take it out and play with it sometimes...

Get lots of sleep now, because you wont get any for the first 3 years.:2 cents:

anal hobbit's new nick?

Yes... I never really knew what "no sleep" means when having a baby. It really does mean "no sleep" :(

Dont wear a condom

thanks for your advice
Yes I will.:1orglaugh
i'll work hard to make more money

Yes.my gf have buy Folic Acid
4 kids.good mother/father.it must be very hard.
thanks.
I will insomnia if I get more time to sleep .
The most important step.:1orglaugh
:)

You will buy more stuff than you need. Babies are surprisingly simple. The need good food, a dry bum, and all the love and attention you can give. Most of the "stuff" you will rush out and buy, you will probably not use. Also be prepared to be more emotional than you think during delivery. Crying during Old Yeller will pale in comparison.

First you need to track and catch a woman. Do you own a woman yet?

Don't give your kids candy and other sweets till they are 3-4 years old.
There is no reason to start filling them with that stuff, they will get plenty when they are older and you really don't want wanna wreck their metabolism / health etc from day one.

Also spend extra time on their meal before bedtime and make sure it is something that keeps them full for a long time.. healthy diet = more sleep at night.

Try and get a date night arranged every week, its important to not forget yourself / your relationship

Even better would be wearing a condom that you poked a whole in... based on the movies I've seen there is 100% chance of getting pregnant if you use a bad condom

I have a 17 week old son. The best advice I can give you is make sure you're ready for the commitment that a baby needs and say goodbye to your personal life and watching any movies you wanted to see. Your friends will say "did you watch that game last night or see that new movie" and you will reply with no I have a baby remember. It's all worth it though when they just stare at you and smile. Nothing can replace the joy of your own child. It's amazing the amount of love you can have for a child. It will change your outlook on everything and show you how unimportant things really are. Having a loving family trumps anything in life.

I have been lucky to have a little one that has not once puked on me and is now sleeping through the night for the most part. The first 3 months he was up every couple of hours to eat but went right back to sleep after feeding.

I'm laughing at the changing a diaper comments. I have a special technique I use. I first do a side check to see if there is poo (that's for currentlysober) if there is poo I get the diaper all ready and open facing the right way with at least 2 wipes out of the box and lift at the ankles. I instantly cover his wee wee with a wipe to block any projecting wizz while ripping the old diaper out. I then replace the old diaper with the new and get it on as fast as possible. It's like changing a tire in nascar. It's a real bummer when he lets one fly the minute you get the new diaper on. I try and wait it out for a few minutes and say to him "get it all out" in hopes that he will understand so I don't waste a good diaper.

A funny line I heard the other day is your kids are like farts. You only love your own haha

You're Chinese, right? If your new child is female, drown it, fuck your "wife" again, and hope for better luck next time. If you have a boy, make him do all the work that you don't want to do when he hts four years old.

If you DO NOT want to kill your daughter (a stupid decision if you're Chinese), send her off to sew jeans for Levi-Strauss once she hits twelve. You'll never see her again, and I'll be able to buy affordable - yet fashionable - casual pants. THEN you can fuck your "wife" again and hope for a boy.

Fuck Levi Strauss, you mean the Apple products factory. What were you thinking?

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

unfortunately You are right.there is family planning in our country and many family want only one child..but I won't drown my child even if a female. you know everyone could feed many children if you have enough money to pay the local government in this country.

Secure the domain of your kids name.

women are so much more efficient. my wife can change the nastiest diapers and have my son clean as can be with 2 wipes.... when i am preparing for a poopy diaper i get at least 7 or 8 wipes ready :1orglaugh my wife gives me a hard time, but i feel it necessary to make sure we both come out of the situation smelling our best :)


another tip... try to ignore all the "advice" your family gives you... every baby is different, and every parent is different. do what feels right and you will be ok

good advice here about not buying too much. we went crazy, and at least 95% of the crap we bought was never used.

you can spend $500 on toys, and your baby will probably be just as happy playing with the boxes the toys came in.. my sons favorite toys are hangers... he could care less about the million real toys laying around the house

wow.I guess I want to buy your toys that no used

Golden words :)

1. Have regular job with constant , regular incomes.
2. The money are important since the mother should stay at home and watch out for the baby.
3. Less sleeping, less sex with the mother, less fun /especially if you get used to night life/
4. Quit smoking is good start. Smell of tobacco and smoke is unpleasant to the baby.It will remember you with that smell anyway. Drinking does not mix with baby sitting. You should be sober all the time, because the mother will need to take a rest - sleep - eat - visiting the bathroom, when there are no other helper. A drunk daddy will be hell of a mess. If baby is sick, you should drive mom and baby to the hospital. That won't happen if daddy is drunk.

5. Spare money as you can aside. Make everything you can to make more money as soon as possible. Get bigger house, with more rooms, water and reach to hospital and kindergarden and/or school near the new place.

6. Find new friends - married guys with children. The single ones will not understand you whatever you do. No more fun, no more sex. You will get grey hair in no time.

7. Try to make the baby sleep in it's own bed/bedroom from start.

8. Wait for the mom to restore her health after birth - at least 2-4 months. Your kid came out of her vagina. Pray the lord the doctors will sew her properly so you can feel her the same way as before birth.

9. The baby is the most important , but don't forget the mother. After work bring present not only to the baby, but to mom as well - flowers, candy - something she like. Babies sleep and wake up in every 2-4 hours. In the mean time a grateful mom can give you a blow job.

10. If you work at home, put your work desk in another room!

P.S. To be a dad is not easy task. It's not just a title just because you made some kids, that's responsibility, presence and you will be always unprepared - never mind how rich or good you are. This is how you get experience.
As far as I know chinese families has strong ties, with respect for the elders and the figure of the father is important and without doubts the major one. You won't be having any problems.

Cheers.
M.

oh yeah.... Take TONS of pictures and video... NOT to show to other people, but to have for yourself. Your child will grow and change so fast, every month it will look and act so differently. Take 100s of pics and Videos, just for yourselves to look at. In a year you will want to look at them as track the amazing changes that happen. When they are a year old you almost won't recognize the pics of them as infants.




.

I have two kids now (4 and 5) and my wife is expecting twins now. If you're wanting help or someone to chat with - hit me up. You're doctor should be telling you all this BTW

If I need over 2 wipes and it's a bad poo we have some diaper codes we call out.

1. coc blowout = Change of clothes blowout
2. eb blowout = Emergency bath blowout