Post your joke below:
 

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"

i cunt afford a joke... :(

but heres a bump... :thumbsup

Heres another... I need a laugh... :(

Johnnyclips

:thumbsup

A Rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them and says "Is this a joke?".

.

knock knock

Who's there?

.

Paul Markham

Barnato

.

Diarrhea !

Me and some of the guys on Facebook were wondering - who is she ?

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.n...66444313_n.jpg

Barnato who?

.

B.Barnato

That is such an old joke :helpme


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:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Literally.

Now turn on ICQ, this noob needs your help. :1orglaugh

I chuckled at the jokes

:thumbsup lol why do guys like tampons with strings? So they can floss after they eat!! :pimp

mavruda … VERY good joke. I've already told it twice. lol

.

A cucumber, an olive and a penis are talking.

The cucumber says "I hate my life, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me in salad."

The olive says "That's nothing, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me on pizza."

The penis says "You think you have it bad, when I get big fat and juicy they put me in a bag, throw me in a cave, shut the door and leave me there till I throw up"

I got kicked out of pre-school for telling that one.

Three men went to hell.

The devil said to them "You have come to hell, and you must now choose whether to spend eternity in room 1, 2 or 3"

He then opened the doors to the three rooms.

Room 1 was filled with men standing on their heads, on a hard wooden floor.

Room 2 was filled with men standing on the heads, on a cement floor.

Finally, room 3 had just a few men, standing in shit up to their knees and drinking coffee.

The men thought for a while, and decided to go with room 3, as it was less crowded and they could drink coffee.

They entered the door to room 3 and just as it was closing behind them, the devil said "OK men, coffee break's over. Back on your heads."

One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of Indians attacked them and knocked them out.

When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.

The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."

So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The chief then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.

Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The chief soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apparent reason, and was killed.

The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"

The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."

OFMG that was good! :thumbsup

Sheila Ferrari :1orglaugh

American Medical Association researchers
have made a remarkable discovery. It seems
that some patients needing blood transfusions
may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather
than human blood. It tends to make the men
cocky and the women lay better.

Manwin permanently closes its doors.

The BDSM'er in me approves this one. :thumbsup

Here's my favorite:

We can convert your traffic ~ (pick a sponsor)

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Russian tourist who does speak English little crossing the border. They ask him Occupation? He goes no no Just Visiting )))

:1orglaugh