F'n Jehovah's Witnesses at my damn door !
 

Was outside doing general house maintenance as the Jehovah's Witnesses are knocking on doors for their fucking Watchtower society.
I live in a predominately white Catholic neighborhood - what the fuck are the blacks doing around here soliciting their bullshit ?
I asked that one black dude why he isn't soliciting in the troubled black neighborhoods where their beliefs, teachings and activities would better suit ? - 8-Track Jones had no answer as he chewed on his sunflower seeds. Next time I'm calling the fucking cops !

Do you entertain at birthday parties for kids, by chance? Do you have an agent, or do I book through you directly?

Whats with these facebook posts?

They have no choice and are assigned to certain areas (blocks and even streets) by their elders, every Kingdom Hall has a specific area it has to cover periodically. Depending on how well organized a group is, they will continue to return to your door until they get to speak to you. If you accept anything they will be back.

It also has nothing to do with blacks. Not their beliefs, teachings or activities.

Why don't Jehovah Witness celebrate Halloween?

They don't like random strangers knocking on their door.


Why are there no Jehovah's witnesses in heaven?

Because God and Saint Peter are behind the gates saying, "Sshh! pretend we are not in!!"


A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door and asked if I'd like to let Jesus into my home.

"Jesus can come in" I said, "but you can fuck off."


Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on the door of an elderly lady.
She opens the door and asks who they are.
They tell her that they are Jehovah's Witnesses and she lets them both inside.
She tells them to take a seat on her sofa, and asks if they would like a cup of tea or coffee.
"Two teas would be nice, please," comes the reply.
Then she asks if they would like custard creams with their drinks.
"Oh, yes please, that would be lovely," comes the response.
Five minutes later the old woman comes back into the front room and places the drinks and biscuits on the table, sits down and says, "So what is it that you want to talk to me about?"
The first Jehovah shrugs her shoulders and says, "We don't know, this is the furthest that we have ever got."

Whenever they knock on my door, I tell them they can't talk to me unless they want to talk to a dead person. When they look at me like wth (oops they don't believe in hell either) I tell them I took several units of blood after a bad car accident and wouldn't be alive if not for that. That shuts them up and they walk away.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah...d_transfusions

You got the blacks? The last few crews of witnesses who strolled through my neighborhood were all hot twenty-something white girls.

Jehovah chapters up here be fighting dirty.

I just politely tell them I'm not interested and they leave.

I tried that...didn't work. They kept returning.

Now I activate the pop-up lawn sprinklers when they're halfway to my door.

Lucky you ,i got only some old hags.Once i was chatting with mormons in city,i wanted to thank them for being biggest consumers of paysite porn (Utah) :1orglaugh

If they catch me outside I'll say; Jesus died on the cross. He lay in rest for 3 days before his soul ascended into heaven. Where was his soul for those 3 days ? - Watch all the confused blacks look at each other like they lost their last bucket of chicken ! :1orglaugh

Were you neighborly enough to offer them watermelon and Kool-aid ? :1orglaugh

Next time you should answer the door naked ! :1orglaugh

I have always looked at it this way. The jehovah witnesses, and other religions that aggressively promote their beliefs are fucking awesome. What great guys to believe they found the key to life and a way to get in to heaven, or whatever, and then to run around telling everyone they can regardless of what people think about them. I mean you have to be a fucking dick to believe you found a way to get out of hell or whatever, and NOT tell ANYONE. I think they are crazy as fuck and their beliefs are shit, but i appreciate the effort.

Same scenario here lately......damn

and I have used the sprinkler trick, but not on the last set of hotties

they just can't help themselves too! seriously! i met two pacific island ones one day we had a little chat it was right in my hood... anyway we never hooked up and i was with other girls at that time. point is though i found out they had been getting with men behind their supposed fellow christian-ites backs and going totally wild, just incredible.

the way i see it at least with a true buddhist girl they are true to themselves and to everyone who knows them, their gods whether they be small ornaments, the sun, buddha, didn't have to be so much like a conservative politician.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

dem' some crazy mo-fuckaz

Invite them in, ask if they like tea. Then... Ask them if they are willing to take cock up the ass.

YOU ARE TOTALLY WRONG, THIS IS CORRECT ANSWER:

Answer

Some scholars interpret Paul's account as saying that the resurrection and ascension to heaven were the same event. Jesus was resurrected immediately to heaven.

In the 'long ending' of Mark's Gospel, Jesus ascended after meeting the disciples in and near Jerusalem, either on the same day as his resurrection, or within just a few days.

According to Luke's Gospel, Jesus met the disciples briefly, and ascended to heaven at Bethany, seemingly with a few days of his resurrection.

Matthew's Gospel and John's Gospel do not actually mention the ascension, so from these sources it is not possible to say how many days there were between the resurrection and the ascension.

Acts 1:3 says that Jesus was taken up after forty days, having spent much of this time with the apostles.

Answer

According to Matthew, Jesus appeared to the disciples on one occasion, on a mountain in Galilee and then appears to have left them. This would seem to have been soon after the Resurrection.

According to Luke, two of the, went "the same day" to Emmaus and met Jesus, but did not at first recognise him. That evening he ate with the disciples. He later took them to Bethany, where he was lifted up to heaven. Some people interpret this as meaning that Jesus ascended to heaven after one day.

According to Acts of the Apostles, a later work by the same author as Luke, Jesus stayed 40 days.

According to John, Jesus visited the disciples twice in their room in Jerusalem, then some short time later at the Sea of Galilee. A delay of forty days can not be ruled out, although the text makes it seem unlikely.

Mark, the first of the gospels to be written, originally did not mention any appearances of the risen Jesus. The "Long Ending" (16:9-20), believed by some to be added some time later to harmonise as far as possible with Matthew and Luke, says that Jesus was received up into heaven after he met the disciples. Some interpret this as being on the evening of his Resurrection.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Had two women come to the door a few months ago. I told them I don't believe in a god, and I don't believe in your bull shit religion now fuck off. One looked at the other and said WOW, and they left

jehovah = illuminati

yeah and have the devil kick your door in and pistol whip your ass :2 cents: :helpme :1orglaugh

What if they are female?

Hes correct... :2 cents:



Seriously though, if you politely request that you be 'REMOVED FROM THIER MAP' they will stay away for a year...

OR... Just say that someone in the household is an 'Apostate'

That way they are no longer 'Allowed' by 'Kingdom Hall' to come to your house, cause they cant meet apostates...

Simples and job done :)

My gym partner is a Witness and uses every free moment to push religion on me.

Don't think I have ever had a black JW come to my door. Usually white guys that offer to work around the house in exchange for the ability to talk. I keep telling them to send someone that knows CSS and/or PHP

One of the women was black and the other a ginger. The gf said I should have invited them in for a threesome as we talked about religion

Never heard of that scenario.

Maybe I could have them rig the lighting during the next fetish shoot. :evil-laug

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Tell them you are too busy to talk; they usually will volunteer to help (at least around here).

Missionaries
 

The Jehovah's Witness haven't been around for awhile. Maybe it's when I said my GF left to become The Devil's Whore. At our old apartment the Mormon boys always came around as she would flirt with them. They always seemed to leave hurriedly when I would ask GF to bring out the letter from the Mormons where she was excommunicated at 15. Seems before a tribunal she told the elders to Go Fuck themselves as they were trying to really fuck her brother.

They came to my house one time and I had mt AFF tank on they quickly left! LMAO

And then ask them to make descriptions for porn movies :1orglaugh

They'd take one look at our studio and make a hasty move towards the door. :1orglaugh :zzwhip

it's all about money. they want to get u into their church to increase the payroll.

me n cameron did a jw flick... watchtowers always in laundry room of old apt gave me idea

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZguhJDwL-3.../traveler1.jpg

Answer the door like this and you won't have any problems with them again.