If you were at heaven's gates, and God asked you...
 

"Why should I let you in?" What would you say? :pimp

Because I followed you on Facebook and LIKED all your posts.

"Markham... Paul Markham"

'Cuz I brought Canadian beer 'n bacon."

I'd say nothing because heaven nor god exist.

And I'd be dead.

I would ask him why he created those ball-eating fish

http://www.documentingreality.com/fo...-lake-fish.jpg

I know, it's all bull skit! But lets have fun for a moment.

"I used to work for Twistys and made a bundle. Let me the fuck in Jesus!!"

Something like that.

Because I'm your son.

Because I've been a good person all of my life and never hurt anyone.

Because I'm your son. You wouldn't send your own son to burn for eternity now would you?

Because Jesus is lord!

Damn, I thought my NDE would be cooler than this.

Because God is infinite forgiveness and understanding etcetera etcetera so my petty human failings should not be a big deal right?

Right?

Ok well if not that, then, being punished for an eternity for a finite lifetime of transgressions also seems sort of over the top, right? Not really fair?

Because you fucked me on Earth don't I deserve some sorta consolation prize?

best answer so far...

:2 cents::2 cents::2 cents:

"Why?? Just because. Let me the fuck in bitch!"

wait,so the god would let you in on the basis of 1 answer you give and not how you lived all your life? Even worse - you could go to hell despite deserving heven with 1 wrong answer?

Let me in bitch!

Aint nobody got time for that!

Belief in a biblical god is such bullshit. I always know I'm dealing with somebody that is mentally unstable when I hear questions like this in real life.

Even if said person is smart, they are still usually mentally fucked.

i wouldn't say anything because the conversation would never take place.

Forgot my keys inside

Because i love you all!

I would say "Hi God, where is St Peter? Isn't this his job?"

"I'm Rick James, Bitch!"

..because I made it to your gate, its up to you to judge me right now and if you don't open them I understand.

Dude, I was already in there, remember? I came out with this chick and she was all like, wah wah something about her mother and I wanted to hit that so I was like, consoling her and getting my grope on. C'mon man, I left my jacket in there and I need my keys to close the deal with whats her name.

Cause there are 40 virgins waiting for me!!! Oh wait what god we talking about again?

'I think I took a wrong turn d00d, I've got nothing to do here, oh and BTW F**k YOU!' ;)

I'd say in my best Eddy Murphy voice: "You fucking wit me, right? You must be fucking wit me. You GOD, you is all OMNISCIENT and shit. Shouldn't you know?

Then he be like: "Yes, you got me I was just messing with you. ha ha"

Me: "I KNEW it. Man you had me goin' there." (shaking my finger all Eddy Murphy-like at him)

God: "But I'm still going to sentence you to six thousand years in purgatory for F-bombing me not once but twice."

:(

lmfao nice!
:thumbsup


I deserve compensation for the shit I went through on earth.

Your address and PIN codes pleez :)))))

I'd say "Go Fuck Yourself!"

And then go straight to hell..... Where i belong.

"My school bus is my limo, my school bus is my limo..."

:helpme:helpme:helpme