The Consultant: The worst Porn Movie I have ever seen
 

Ok. Please please please, tell me that "The Consultant" never won any industry awards, and that everyone ever associated with this movie have never gone near another camera ever again.

In one threesome scene, some actor who's too embarrassed to take his dark sunglasses off, is having anal sex with this girl. He pulls out and launches giant loogies into her butt hole, continues fucking, then stops to spit again, and again, and again.

A little later on, the camera turns onto a 90 degree angle. Not a half-artsy 45 degree angle, just a hard-right to total sideways. Oh look! More spitting. Not to mention shitty lighting and a camera person who couldn't be bothered to learn what a white balance is.

Fast-forward 15 minutes, and what's next? More fucking spitting. Spit! Gob! Loogie! Snot! What the hell?

I understand that everyone has their fetishes, but who the hell gets turned on watching someone spit into assholes?

I know a porn clip or movie is bad when I wonder why they chose the worst possible angles. When I see a Jada Stevens scene, you better have some nice, low angle booty shots during doggy. How can anyone bust a but nut if you shoot a penetration closeup most of the scene?

I know I'll get booed for saying this, but story is a little important too. Or at the very least, I have to believe the people are actually into each other. In my opinion, Amateur porn is much better than 99% of professional porn out there for this reason alone.

When I watch porn, I like to see fake people fucking, not real people.

On the subject of story, I wish someone had the balls and/or money to make a giant porn movie that's as good as any other Hollywood movie, except its full of explicit sex with the hottest girls ever in a porno. I know some porn studios make a big movie that's definitely higher quality than other flicks, but it's still a bad movie. Imagine if the Wachowski Brothers made a porn movie.

While I would like to see something like that, I still don't care about story in porn. Just show the best looking girl getting banged and film it competently.

What do you care, you jerk off to tapes of the Democratic National Convention.

Only if the internet is down.

I jerk it to
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/...30bxj95jpg.jpg

You Jerk it to
http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/wp-c...an-hannity.jpg

To each his own.

But actually, my GF nd I decided to see what was on the porn channel for a change (Channel 303 I think on Bell after 11pm) and were extremely disappointed by all the Hole-gape spitting. She said "I can't believe we work in the same industry as this crap", and I had to say, she was exactly right.

Erotic cinema has been made, there was the director Walerian Borowczyk who made

http://ilarge.listal.com/image/47779...nto-poster.jpg

As well as other erotic films.....

The problem is how to raise large sums of money for serious movie production and how to get a return....

Blue Is the Warmest Color is basically a lesbian porno, and it's also a real movie that won awards and was nominated for a Golden Globe.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2278871/?ref_=nv_sr_2

Angles. Angles are my biggest pet peeve.
sometimes i think the camera man (or men, this is too common) is on a fucking roller coaster.
Even makes shaky handheld found footage mainstream movies a pleasure to watch.

I've seen that, but I wouldn't call it porn by any stretch. It's a character driven movie with some sex in it.

How can everyone destroy a nevertheless fanatic if you capture a transmission closeup the majority of the picture?

Here are two for you:


There's a follow-up here:


It's awesome except when they try too hard to spit too much. You have to be into this kind of stuff.

btw... The jar is for sale! lol

http://www.naughtyfake.com/pics/demo...1265878731.jpg

http://t2.pixhost.org/thumbs/810/2252536_1.jpg

http://blog.similarweb.com/wp-conten...s-banners1.png

Everyone's a critic... :angrysoap

:stoned

ADG

This not a porn movie, but a love story, and a very sad one. Sex is shown in a very honest and open way...but not inviting the viewer to get involved.

In an erotic film the viewer is invited in, to be a voyeur, a space is left for him/her to partake.