science jokes :)
 

1. I?m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can?t put it down.

2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn?t seem to be gaining momentum.

3. Why can?t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don?t believe in higher powers.

4. Schrodinger?s cat walks into a bar. And doesn?t.

5. Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.

6. A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
?What do we want??.
?Time travel?
?When do we want it??.
?Irrelevant.?

7. What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!

8. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies ?For you, no charge?.

9. Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
?Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.?
?Are you sure??
?Yes, I?m positive.?

10. An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.

hahaha, good ones :P

3% of scientists believe that humans do not contribute to global warming.

:1orglaugh

that number changes quite a bit when you add in the key words 'significantly contributes' which would be in better context to any argument.

Nice jokes, even for normal people

:thumbsup lol

hahaha, good ones mate!

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second says, "I'll have a glass of water too. Why did you say H2O? It's the end of the day and there's no need to talk about work." The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.

Not bad at all:)

Q: Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
A: Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.


Have you heard that entropy isn't what it used to be?


Heisenberg went for a drive and got stopped by a traffic cop. The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am."

http://www.jupiterscientific.org/sci...nparticles.jpg

Ha!

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh some good jokes, thanks for the laughs!

haha, good ones! :thumbsup

"Copernicus, young man, when are you going to come to terms with the fact that the world does not revolve around you."

Murphy's Ten Laws for String Theorists:

(1) If you fix a mistake in a mathematical superstring calculation, another one will show up somewhere else.
(2) If your results are based on the work of others, then one such work will turn out to be wrong. (3) The longer your article, the more likely your computer hard disk drive will fail while you are typing the references.
(4) The better your research result, the more likely it will be rejected by the referee of a journal; on the other hand, if your work is wrong but not obviously so, it will be accepted for publication right away.
(5) If a result seems to good to be true, it is unless you are one of the top ten string theorists in the world. (By the way, these theorists refer to their results as "string miracles".)
(6) Your most startling string-theoretic theorem will turn out to be valid in only two spatial dimensions or less.
(7) When giving a string seminar, nobody will follow anything you say after the first minute, but, if miraculously someone does, then that person will point out a flaw in your reasoning half-way through your talk and what will be worse is that your grant review officer will happen to be in the audience.
(8) For years, nobody will ever notice the fudge factors in your calculations, but when you come up for tenure they will surface like fish being tossed fresh breadcrumbs.
(9) If you are a graduate student working on string theory, then the field will be dead by the time you get your Ph.D.; Even worse, if you start over with a new thesis topic, the new field will also be dead by the time you get your Ph.D.
(10) If you discover an interesting string model, then it will predict at least one low-energy, observable particle not seen in Nature.

Q. What does DNA stand for?
A. National Dyslexics Association