I Don?t Want Kids
 

Well, there is the thing, i'm 33yo and after two serious relationships i still don't want kids. I still don't need them, i'm not curious about being a dad and still can't understand the persons that are crazy about have kids :S

Whats happen in your life about that?

Kids will make you happier.

That is exactly the reason why I don't want kids either. Ironically enough, having kids always sounded like a really selfish decision to me. Because honestly, people have children because they feel something is "missing" in their life, or that their life is not complete without children. No thanks.

True. It is selfish but so are most of the altruistic things we do in life. When we give we feel good about ourselves so we are always getting.

When it comes to kids they WANT you to feel happier because they are around as it is better for them so it is a win-win situation for all.

But to the OP, it is very stressful and fatiguing and a sacrifice of your personal time for quite awhile. If that's not for you that's fine, it isn't for everyone.

What many get out of it is an immense joy at being a dad. That's why they do it.

No kids here, never wanted them either. Some people think I'm crazy, others don't.

there's a difference between happy and happier. happy means you already have the things you want, happier means kids serves as an add-on. you are happy with your life, but they will make you even happier when theyre around. hope you get his point.

the one who seeks happiness in others or needs others to "complete" him/her is destined to get fucked...

finding happiness alone, no kids, no gf/wife and then finding more happiness with others is the key...

kids are bad ROI IMO and I am not a gambling man...I can learn to love the shit out of anything, a dog, a wife, 100 cats ect...saying that there is no reward in parenthood would be a false statement...but it is a sacrifice that will probably not yield satisfactory results, lets say a kid costs 500.000$ from birth to college...thats like 70$/day for food/education/clothes/i-shit/vacations/medical/allowance ect...

on the one hand I can have a child and grow in to the thing and talk myself in to believing I did the right thing, and fuck one and the same woman for 30 years because * m y s t e r y * and put up with something that she shat out and hope it does not grow up to be like most losers

or

I could easily get a new girl every day for 70$/day and get my dick really really really really shiny, glow in the dark shiny, and have it polished by fresh new girls for the next 20 years...thats 7000 guaranteed days of shiny shiny shiny dick...

in the end it all boils down to one question: do you want a shiny penis? :1orglaugh

i never really wanted kids most of my life but then i had one and its been the best thing i've been a part of and while its been challenging i've never been happier. its not for everyone but having a kid can change how you think about a lot of things.

Ok ........

Most people have kids by accident. Then the true character of that person surfaces as they then take responsibility and raise the child.

I never had an accident, and have also never felt the need/desire to have a planned child.

I haven't found the woman who makes me want to settle down and have kids with.

If you don't want kids, then don't have them. It's the best for you and for your potential children.
We are genetically programmed to want to reproduce, to spread the species, but if you don't feel that call, then you have simply overcome that genetic need. It's not that uncommon nowadays.
I do have 1 kid. I love him to pieces, he is my entire life and he was a very wanted child (we tried for 3 years to conceive him), but I swear that come homework time, sometimes I wonder what I was thinking!

I don't mind other peoples kids,just not my own

:thumbsup yep, but that only happens to people who are not a self fish person, and IMO, thats very few.

Interesting. I can't stand other peoples kids, but I like mine.

No kids. Not wanted. Can't see the reason to create life.

people who don't want kids shouldn't have kids. the kids deserve someone who wants them but you've got to wonder what is going to happen with this future generation of childrenless seniors. with no one to take care of them to any degree that they might need its going to result in a much larger burden on the health care and social assistance system.

As someone who went through his thirties thinking he would never have kids, I now have a 5 month old daughter. I'm not going to say the cliché thing that it's the most amazing, life enriching experience. But it is really great and I'm so glad she's in the world now. Seeing her smile at me first thing in the morning gives me a joy that nothing else can give me.

Being a father is having the side effect of making me a more efficient time manager. I think I've been getting more done than ever before with the waking hours I have in a day, because I have a hustle in me that wasn't there before.

But if it's not for you, and you know it's not for you -- then no one should fault you for not doing it. There's purpose to a childless life also. Like if I was living near the beach in Brazil, playing guitar, painting, surfing and banging 21 year olds -- that would be just as purposeful.

Years ago a friend of mine in high school told me she wanted to work for Disney but that she would never have kids. Thirty-five years later she is... Working for Disney in Florida, is married, but has no kids. Go figure.

I never gave much thought to having kids growing up and even when I got married. Having kids was something I would "some day" when I was older. The people at work used to annoy me with their silly photos of their kids getting some dumb awards. Then one day I discover I'm going to be a father. My wife and I have one child. It's changed everything in my life.

Suddenly you discover it's not about you, it's all about your kid.

Im with you on the no kids thing. About to hit 30 and either myself or partner wants to have kids. Most of our friends think we're crazy but we think they're crazy for wanting em! We dont want to be held back with whatever we choose to do in our lives...and just have no desire.

Trees make trees...rabbits make rabbits....people make people
If you do not want kids, do not have them.
You have been selected to not have your genes go forward....haha couldn't resist. JK

:)
Having my boys is the best. So awesome to come home and hear feet running to the door one will give me a hug one will try to punch me in the nuts, and one is facinated with my shoes or whatever else is on the floor...lol

I love bringing them to various activites, or going to see them do things. MY two oldest boys and I go to a Sauna here in Korea as a Saturday or Sunday thing. The Saunas here are amazing. They need a whole other post about them to explain really. I have a foursome for golf in a few more years.

The only drawback is once you have kids, you are stuck with who pushed them out.

While I read this post I am looking at two of my sons running all over and making noise and.... I enjoy it :)
It is not easy, it is challenging but it is so good! So much love and everything ! I love and enjoy my kids and hope to be good parent and put them on the right path !

But then again I fully understand if you don't want kids. Nothing wrong with it either !

nice liberal comments :), people get married and make kids to overcome their failures or to use them when they get older .

i don't want kids now. family still taking care of me ... its just a waste of time

but life is about wasting time unless u know ur purpose . only few humans in the planet know

Sounds selfish

Kids TODAY? No way.
Selfish little fucks who want everything NOW. Can't wait two seconds for anything and expect every damn thing NOW.

Kids years ago MAYBE but TODAY? No way. Just LOOK at any child under the age of eighteen. Don't they all look like annoying little assholes? LOL

TBH... babies fucking suck. It's true. I love my son but holy shit I've never wanted to sever my own head more times than while that "baby" stage was in.

Children however are pretty cool with the exception of the being a parent part. It's not all hot wheels and food fights sadly. Eventually the hammer has to come down on little man but it's an experience that I'd never give back and genuinely feel I've grown tremendously for the better because of him being born.

Other peoples kids suck because people suck. Your own kids, with proper "parent mode" time, will turn out to be respectful, trustworthy little shits that you don't fully regret having :)

TL;DR Baby's suck. It's hard ass work being mom & dad. Don't do it unless you're ready for a game changer.

This is how I am, I'd lay down and die for any one of the 4 of mine, but I absolutely cannot stand to be around other people's kids - and usually it's because the parents don't make them mind and they have NO discipline at all.

I wasn't planning on having any either and ended up with 4 and my life is so much more fulfilling with them in it.

BUT if you don't want them, don't let anyone talk you into it, it's not good for you or them.

Kids are more fulfilling for women than men.
Men can take them or leave them, we're fucking BUSY.
But chicks? They feel old and wasted and not exactly "a woman" if they don't have kids.

Tick tick tick goes their biological clock....LOL

I'd have to agree.

I love my daughter, but I wouldn't feel empty if I went through life childless. I've got many interests to "fill the void".

But I don't know if that sentiment is completely gender specific. There have to be some chicks who think that way too.

As the eldest of 12, kids were the last thing on my bucket list. Ended up with two and would not change a thing.

since when selfishness is bad ?
who is actually living for the sake of the others ?

I've been a single Dad since I was 21. Now my son is 21 and I think WTF I was just a baby having babies! I want more kids, 2, within the next 2-3 years before it's to late. Best thing that ever happened to me :thumbsup

I didn't want kids and then had three within 27 months.

Now I don't how'd I'd live without them.

Yup. They're called 'dykes'. :D

It's never "too late" for a man. YOUR biological clock ain't tickin'. LOL

The actor Tony Randall had a couple kids when he was in his '70's (or was it his '80's?). Sperm lasts forever. Well, until it hits the air that is. Haha!!

it kind of depends on how you raise them though

you are so wrong ..imagine what gonna happen if every1 think as you

You are a year younger than I was when I discovered my wife was pregnant with my daughter.

At that time I felt the same, couldn't imagine kids, needed my peace and quiet, liked doing grown up things, sleeping when I wanted, etc.

But during her pregnancy I think my brain rewired and it was like the greatest thing that ever happened to me. It helped me understand that when it's time to take those steps your mind will be ready, you won't have to force yourself to want it, you'll just know it's right and that it's time like a glass of cool water when you're thirsty.

If you think about adult responsibilities as a kid it freaks you out. But as the mind matures you are prepared, and that doesn't stop when you turn 18 or 21 or even 33, maturity is an ongoing process.

Your mind will continue to evolve as long as you don't resist the changes. I feel like if you do resist it, that's where insanity comes in, when you insist on clinging to a state of mind that you have or should have evolved beyond.

It doesn't mean you can't enjoy the things you enjoy now, it just means you have to open your mind and heart to new challenges.

True though the idea of being older than 63 when they hit 20 kinda freaks me out :helpme

Yes but the closer you are in age to your kids the better you'll be able to relate to the different phases of childhood and most importantly adolescence that they go through. Too big a disconnect can be a problem.

100% true! When I travel in Europe I am amazed by how well-behaved the children are. No pouting, throwing tantrums, they sit at resturaunts with their parents like little adults, so polite and sweet.

American kids? Total spoiled monsters. Their "parents" (in quotes because they think of themselves more as friends to their kids than actual parents) standing around NOT disciplining them, allowing them to run wild, shout, act obnoxious...it's fucking sick and I hate it (and hate these "parents"). Europe is a MUCH better place to raise kids, I think.

Very ture. My friend just had his first son. He is 53 and he is freaked out, saying things like "I hope I will be alive when he graduates high school...". LOL Dude, you will be 71 or something. Chill out. But I understand where he is coming from. I don't think I would have the energy to raise kids in my fifties.

Thing is (which is kinda sad), he and his wife (who is 42) use nannies and babysitters ALL the time. They have money so they can do it, have a live-in Nanny. So if someone else is spending so much time with your kid then what's the point? Is he really being a parent anyway? Crazy.

Such a stereotype, though parents like that do exist and they are satan on earth :mad:

Yeah a lot of those here in the OC. Rich parents going to spa & golfing, nannies always walking the strollers dropping the kids off at school etc. Strange world :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Philosophical thread on procreation on GFY :1orglaugh

A kid changes everything, sometimes that's needed no matter what

:2 cents:

True, but at this point I am searching for those parents/kids that do NOT act this way.

Example: Parent & 6 yr old child go to a resturaunt. The parent then ASKS THE CHILD what they want to eat!! WTF does a six yr old know about what's good for them to eat? The kid will say "ice crean and hot dogs" every time.

But when I talk to "parents" about this you know what they say? "I'm trying to teach my kids to make better choices." ASKING them what they want to eat or wear makes the kids think THEY are the ones with the "power" - and since their parents do whatever the kid says it's probably the way it is.

Not all American parents are this way but....have you ever been to a Wal-Mart? LOL!!

Lazy low class trash parents. Low class as in existing at the lowest level of existence possible. They exist everywhere from every country, though Americans traveling abroad are loud as fuck and so irritating, with children probably a lot worse and much more noticeable :helpme

Actually people who don't have kids, have more money (kids are VERY VERY VERY expensive, I should know) so they don't need someone to take care of them: they can afford the best health care plans and buy an insurance policy that covers home care and such. Those of us who decided to have kids, can't afford expensive health plans for ourselves, so we have to rely on our children's good hearts :)

Same here too! :2 cents:

Kids aren't for everyone, also this is not the best place to ask for this type of advise man..:2 cents:

maybe but a lot of the people i know without kids blow their money on drugs, alcohol and other stuff.

If you are white - go and have kids, rest of them reproduce as crazy, whites tend to over think it.