Make sex awkward in 5 words
 

"That's not where it goes."

It's stuck in your ass

I am on my period.

your sister is much better

we have the same father

My wife cracked me up with this one - "Your husband's on the phone."

True story - 20 years ago her (then) husband called her at my place...the timing left something to be desired. :1orglaugh

I haven't showered in awhile

I hope that's a wart.

lol - you guys ain't right.

But, your sister swallows it.

Not tonight...post nasal drip.

Your credit card was declined

What are those little bumps?

It's too big,it hurts!

Close your eyes, just pretend

I can top that in 3 words:
"Is it in?"

2 words

"Try harder"

i forgot to wear condom

Still sore from the abortion

"Is it in your eyes?"

It's possible I'm still contagious

Who is your favourite Avenger?

1 word:
Stinks

I already put it in

What else is in there?

i used poo as lube!

That moment when she says : More, Harder, Deeper, Deeper -
And you are out of dick.... :helpme

My crotch is SO itchy!

My mother taught me this

I have H I V.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:thumbsup

My tampon is still in.

Thank you donor number 8

Can you feel something crawling?

Fuck me harder Mr. President!!!!

Your pussy stinks real bad

Your pussy tastes like Dad.

I was trying to push a similar hashtag on twitter the last few weeks.

#FiveWordsToRuinSex

some funny ones:

So that's internet inches then

Can you see the camera?

You slept with Skip Bayless?

Turn on some Nickelback, baby.

YES! Beat my personal best!

I learned this in prison.

I had Mexican for lunch

What's that horrible disgusting smell?

5 words?

"Is it in there yet?"

Or

"Don't worry, I use pills." (and innocent flashing with eyes)

my ex did that too

Is that thing adam's apple?

I can't find my viagra

Your mom said you swallowed

"Hi, I am Donny Pauling."

:1orglaugh

I can't top that.

Ahahahahahahahahaha!