5 Steps to acting a real man:
 

Now i know there is lots of pussy men with small donks on GFY. So i thought id take a time out from my super busy, extremely important schedule to give tips on how to act like a real man (me):

1. Always let out a massive yawn and stretch while taking a piss like you are a god dam bear waking up from hibernation. Bitches love bears. Teddy bears. Gummy bears. Da bears. Just be a man you little cunt.

2. Meat as a side dish with meat. If you want to have your little panzy salad with your steak it better be a god dam steak salad. I didnt reach the top of the food chain to eat like a gay giraffe. Loser.

3. Fuel economy is for pussies. I want to smell the oil. Nothing gets a dime piece wetter then the sound of an engine burning a god dam hole in the o-zone. Punch the gas all blaze through the playground zone while flipping all those little punks the bird.

4. Lift weights non stop. get off the computer runt and slam a hard set. Im either pumped up or pimped up. You choose little man.

5. Park in pregnant women spots at the mall. She needs the excersize. Trust me. And anyway her egg is taken. You have no use for her. A man cant get pregnant. So why give special treatment?

Follow these simple steps. And soon you will be your full potential as a man. (5% of my manliness)

Thanks for these great tips!
Finally I can become the man I always wanted to be.

:thumbsup

Thats the kind of can do attitude i like to hear! Youre hired!

my car gets 7 mpg .....HIGHWAY..

Feels good to be gangsta

Thanks, but I better not to overact like you, as then everybody would think I am gay. With these tips only 5 % will think I am gay, and the rest are fooled about me being a real man. Superb.

Oh YEAH!

Thats how a real man rolls! Im in the gas station so often they know me by first name.

I got enough petro points for a free car wash for a lifetime.

Shut your god dam mouth you annoying hippy!

You annoy everyone. Including the mirror for having to reflect your stupid face.

Your "real man" answer is more like angry teenage girl's. :) Keep working on with the acting.

Fucking MetaMan always makes me fucking laugh :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Don't forget letting that big long fart out towards the end of your morning piss. Let's the girl know you don't give a fuck.

I have to give you props for maintaining this charade for so long without breaking character. I'll add one:

When standing at the urinal, don't try to almost crawl inside so no one will look at your tiny dick. Stand at least one foot away from the urinal and be proud of what you've got. The extra benefit is you don't have to put your shoes in the puddle of piss that's always directly beneath the urinal.

:thumbsup

What charade are you talking about?

Hmmm this makes me question, do you do this to show other guys your cock? :disgust

haha, if someone wants to look, then that's their own issue they have to deal with.

This is THE definitive guide on The Art of Manliness

so when will you be taking these steps?

When was the last time you got lay'd? And i don't mean by a bag of potato chips.

are you flirting with me? awkward.

No sorry i am not.

I'm almost sure the closest thing to you having sex in the passed year is a fat chick sitting on your lap by accident at the bus stop.

if you want to spend your time wondering if dyna mo gets laid, enjoy your weekend doing so!

but that will only get in the way of you working on acting like a man.

That's playing GTA 5 ...

My dick gets 2mpg

You left out farting and belching in public and being proud of it instead of hiding it.

Also every man needs a chainsaw, it just makes you feel good fondling it.

And of course you need a 12 gauge shotgun

a good dog like a black lab

Today i bought at the local butchery:

-3 nice 300 gram steaks of tenderloin
-1 piece of range chicken breast
-4 large german style veal cutlets

... and I paid with my head up "ok... it's only 69 euro's?" like a real MAN...

:pimp

btw, fucking with ya, mm, which is #6 on the list.

I can't act :(

I was going to suggest that if you are a real man you have no need to fake it or "act" like a real man; it just happens.

:2 cents::2 cents:

I did #2 tonight.

Ribs with a side dish of hot wings.

Tonight I had a meat platter at a riverfront BBQ joint. Ribs, sausage, pulled pork. I feel great

You guys are making me hungry. Ribs and sausage are excellent side meats. The original idea of steak with steak salad sounds pretty good right about now too.

Nothing fucks up a steak dinner like having a salad directly before it.

:1orglaugh:helpme:error:1orglaugh Real men don't buy steak by the gram. They also don't give a shit if their chicken was free range and veal??? You hosting yuppie potluck?

How does yawning and stretching while taking a piss make you a better man? wouldn't a huge shat on her towels be good enough?

1. Be cool with your feminine side...

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

I just came here to read the comments :D

Normally i may not let this pass. But you are trying to let your inner man out. And i can respect this.

Here is a tip the steak size should be so big that you know its mama its moo'ing up in steak heaven. Even if I don't finish the steak (which has only happened 1 time in my entire life) I will feed it to the wolves out back.

Slab some god dam hot sauce all over it. The more the better. I want my chicken wings so dam hot that everyone else is whining like little sissy pants that they can't eat them.

:thumbsup

Ok... now let me explain... before you guys sissificate me:1orglaugh
3 pieces of 300 gram is still almost 1 kilogram....

Everyone who respects high quality meat like tenderloin from the butcher knows that you can't take a 1 kilo piece and beat it flat and then grill it. It fucks up the meat. Pieces of 300 gram is the best size to not fuck up the meat when prepared... Grilling a briljant piece of medium rare tenderloin is almost like sience... everything has to be right.... So... if you still think 900 gram of steak is for pussies...

If you don't care about free range and rather have a factory chicken... then you don't care about yourself nor about quality meat and taste. That is for men 1.0. Free range is for UberMen 2.0 that care about what they stuff into their mouths:pimp

For real: He-Man is the REAL man, and whatever he does is what REAL man does.

Methane-Mans are only lousy duplicates.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...848a9d1a9e.jpg

6. Drive in reverse all the time. My car, my rules! You have a problem with that?

Whoever mentioned Euro was ghey. A masculine nature holds on to the US Dollards only.

I got a new chainsaw and have been feeding the woodchipper all day. I could wear a pink dress and still be #2 man on GFY. ( Metaman being #1)