GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum (https://gfy.com/index.php)
-   Fucking Around & Business Discussion (https://gfy.com/forumdisplay.php?f=26)
-   -   Business Paul Markham. The Greatest Pornographer of All Time. (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=1211065)

AdultKing 08-07-2016 09:05 AM

Paul Markham. The Greatest Pornographer of All Time.
 
I thought that Paul's posts really would benefit from more authenticity if written in the language of his time.

backeth in the day at which hour selling p'rn as an independent p'rnograph'r wast hard. we hadst to learneth festinate, what girls couldst doth the job, did sell, what those gents w're suitable f'r, etc. we eke hadst to learneth how to shooteth p'rn. shooting a front cov'r f'r a magazine of dvd boxeth cov'r is a demanding job.

without those wage shots, the video 'r setteth art w'rthless 'r w'rth less. the setteth 'r video hadst to includeth key elements. nay matt'r how valorous looking the wench wast, the lady hadst to invoke emotions in the view'r, oth'r than the fact yond the lady's just anoth'r nak'd corse doing p'rn.

the traffic wast th're as t hast at each moment been. the key wast conv'rsion and retention. wouldst the cov'r shots conv'rt the brows'r to buyeth? wouldst the content prithee that gent enow to keepeth that gent buying yond brand? we knoweth this w'rk'd in p'rn because some sites w're streets ahead of the oth'rs. haply those gents didn't conv'rt so well f'r the individual, those gents hadst to beest making a lot of wage to runneth such an 'rganisation. coequal so, some affiliates sw're blindeth micro niche sites yond w're barely making a profit conv'rt'd most wondrous.

the problem is webmast'rs tooketh ov'r and traffic becameth the #1 pri'rity.

TheDynasty 08-07-2016 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdultKing (Post 21087109)
I thought that Paul's posts really would benefit from more authenticity if written in the language of his time.

backeth in the day at which hour selling p'rn as an independent p'rnograph'r wast hard. we hadst to learneth festinate, what girls couldst doth the job, did sell, what those gents w're suitable f'r, etc. we eke hadst to learneth how to shooteth p'rn. shooting a front cov'r f'r a magazine of dvd boxeth cov'r is a demanding job.

without those wage shots, the video 'r setteth art w'rthless 'r w'rth less. the setteth 'r video hadst to includeth key elements. nay matt'r how valorous looking the wench wast, the lady hadst to invoke emotions in the view'r, oth'r than the fact yond the lady's just anoth'r nak'd corse doing p'rn.

the traffic wast th're as t hast at each moment been. the key wast conv'rsion and retention. wouldst the cov'r shots conv'rt the brows'r to buyeth? wouldst the content prithee that gent enow to keepeth that gent buying yond brand? we knoweth this w'rk'd in p'rn because some sites w're streets ahead of the oth'rs. haply those gents didn't conv'rt so well f'r the individual, those gents hadst to beest making a lot of wage to runneth such an 'rganisation. coequal so, some affiliates sw're blindeth micro niche sites yond w're barely making a profit conv'rt'd most wondrous.

the problem is webmast'rs tooketh ov'r and traffic becameth the #1 pri'rity.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Spunky 08-07-2016 09:50 AM

You put a lot of thought into this

Rochard 08-07-2016 12:05 PM

This is funny...

SilentKnight 08-07-2016 12:16 PM

Hahahahaha!

woj 08-07-2016 01:39 PM

:1orglaugh

arock10 08-07-2016 02:47 PM

Yee ole Paul markhamme

Smack dat 08-07-2016 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunky (Post 21087163)
You put a lot of thought into this

Not really he just used a tool like everyone else in this biz looking for a quick fix

English to Shakespearean Translator ? LingoJam

Barry-xlovecam 08-07-2016 03:31 PM

This is w'rd.
Hallow'd beest the nameth of Marhkam to all men.

Paul Markham 08-08-2016 03:28 AM

http://www.clipartkid.com/images/686...rK-clipart.gif

Off to have lunch TTYL


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:33 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
©2000-, AI Media Network Inc123