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LAST TRIP TO COSTCO

I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet,

Necco, the Wonder Dog, who weighs 91 lbs. I was in the check-out line

when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that

no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added

that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time,

but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward

with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that

it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply

eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally

complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to

mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with

my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog

food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and

a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was

laughing so hard.

Damn it all, now Costco won't let me shop there anymore :)