Hell, i'm an a-grade idiot.
 

So i'm currently livin' together with a very hot girl.. in a one room appartment.

She needed a place to stay.. needless to say, i got a crush on her and.. well, now we're livin together, sleeping in the same bed and basically she friendzoned me.
While i'm typing this, shes out partying and getting drunk with some other dudes.

Sucks to be the 'nice guy'.

I think, i need a beer. Dont even know why im posting this, i assume i just want someone to confirm that im an idiot. ;)

Cheers.

.

If i ever buy a piano, shoot me.

god you are the gay friend without being gay! ouch! find out what she likes. do something extreme but legal. wait you brought in a hoodrat and want that??? kick her the fuck out! print out the homeless shelters and tell her to get going! things are going to start coming up missing. i hope those guys don't roll your ass see you on the news covered up or in a canister full of cement

:thumbsup Brilliant. I love you man

.

No its actually more complicated.. we had something going on few months ago very casual.. now she really was in a bad situation with her landlord who basically tyrannized and molested her - so i offered her to stay here. And because of her troubles (serious stuff) i didnt want to make a move on her. And yeah, now im the gay friend without being gay.

Yeah, you couldnt make that shit up..

On a side note - the more i drink, the clearer it all gets.. i'm starting to realize the dimensions of my idiocy. Oh, the things i could tell you.

crush or not you better kick the female out! you are being used! don't take rent! if you let her get mail there you may have to evict her if you want her out. if you are on the east coast. you are fuked on eviction. some take a year! when she goes out to drink get a uhaul and move. tell the landlord we are done LOL

Slip her the Weiner when she is sleeping..chicks dig that

Will do.

in the friend zone? = in prison getting raped

It can only get better ;)

:1orglaugh :thumbsup


@ the op, you need to get it on with her...

you're in the same bed? This cannot be with any female unless they expect something from you :winkwink:

Every guy that says he's ok to just stay in my bed with nothing happening, I, like any women knows it's happening, unless the guy is, well, as BM said, is gay, it's happening :2 cents:

It will be done.

Bring me the girl.. whenever she gets home, all drunk, ill tell her

"youre a girl and im a man and gfy told me to get it on. Undress. And let the magic happen"

.

not saying do it. offer her a bill cosby elixir and grease all her holes. when she wakes up talking about her throat hurts and her asshole is bleeding say she fell while drunk :helpme:helpme :1orglaugh:1orglaugh :thumbsup:thumbsup a bird in the hand is a cock in her bush! :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

I feel illuminated!

maybe less bolshy, more subtle...

when she comes in, pour a drink, have a chat & say.. "how about when we go to bed tonight, we go naked & see how things feel between us" :winkwink:

Trust me, you'd do better than CandyFlip, that guy has something stuck up his ass :1orglaugh

you wet for flipflop????? wtf???

if you want to keep her as friend.. keep doing the same... if you just want to fuck her, just try, if she do not want and goes mad about that tell her that you just live with her to get sex with her, not for a friendly relationship

I really want to keep her as a friend.. but.. err.. awwww shit. Yawn. Im really her gay friend.

Also, i ran outta beer.

Do you sniff her pants?

You own that bed and anything in it, let her know that, if she crawls back in that bed again, that's a yes. Merry Christmas! :thumbsup

No. I launder her pants.

Thanx, happy holidays.

ditch the cat and get a haircut op!
https://i.imgur.com/1hm20Ce.jpg

Lock the door before she comes home

Buy yourself a good pair of headphones for Christmas. You know... for all those nights when you'll be listening to her getting banged stupid in the next room.

WE DONT HAVE A NEXT ROOM!!!!! (yawn)

he probably gave her a key! :disgust reminds of spence from king of queens :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh im 45 i don't want to die a virgin! :( :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Yeah she got a key.. on the other side, i became father of a son last year, so im normally not that incompetent when it comes to women.

If she likes to party with random guys then making a move, even if it works, will probably just end up in more hurt in the long run. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know we were a thing..."

A lesson learned the hard way. Time to kick her out.

congratzz did she show up?? what happened to yo baby mama? that end bad?

pretty interesting story, so what happened next?

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:thumbsup

Change the deadbolt while she is out!
Do NOT give her a key.
If she doesn't put out, put her out !
Now stop being the GAY Friend lmao

I couldn't imagine sharing a bed with a hot chick and having her get in bed after being out all night wreaking of alcohol and smelling some dudes cum dripping out of her pussy all night.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh cookies and cream :Oh crap:Oh crap :(:( :helpme:helpme :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Steal her worn panties and masturbate.

magic :thumbsup

Time for you to move out.

Ok. she finally got home from wherever she was and slept a few hours. That's the one thing..

meanwhile, i came to the conclusion that a friendship would be the better option, as i really like the girl and i dont wanna screw things up. You can't have everything in life, i guess.

When she woke up, we spoke about a few things, had dinner and generally a really good time. Hour ago or so, our conversation came to the point where we talked about sex while i was massaging her back and, well, i made my move, dropped my line and ended up fucking her brains out.

That leads me to following conclusions:

A) i'm appearantly an idiot on an even grander scale of things, since i had sex with her although i decided to go for a friendship

B) the former girl of my dreams is a slut

Now I'm even more confused than before ;) But thanks GFY for all your wonderful tips!!!

Easy to takem in hard to puttem out.

Now she pays her way by becoming content.

Trust me, you'll be bored fucking her soon, if you aren't already. She knows sex is part of the deal.

So film her alone or with another, for free once a week to pay her way. Don't be stupid. You'll be happy with how things end knowing you made some money from it. TRUST ME

You're welcome for this advanced insight :thumbsup

what time did you wake up? and figure out what a wet dream is? friend zone never goes backwards ever :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh im done this shit is starting to make me sad :helpme im fuking drunk now!

ewwwwwwwwwwwww jeezus drain that clam :Oh crap draining a cum dumpster jeezus christ. :helpme:helpme:helpme