So i took a vid of my mum yesterday at her absolute worst with her struggle with alzheimers disease
 

She has had the condition for around 3 years now. In that space of time she went from working and living a normal life, to being unable to do basically anything for herself now, and needing constant care. She's only 61.

My family all have their own agendas and issues. Sure one or two come round to visit when they can, but most seem to stay away for whatever reason. I think they don't quite believe how bad things have materialised. Even my brother is hardly seen anywhere near. And he lives pretty close by. It's as though everyone has such busy lives. Hmmm.

Anyway, after yet another seizure a couple of days ago, I went back round yesterday again to see how she was and it was grim viewing. To give people a better idea of what I see daily, i took a vid of her struggle to do a simple task. Getting up from the sofa took 5mins. She doesn't weigh much at all, infact she is very skinny and weak, she has very little strength.

Within mins of me sending the vid to a few people on Whatsapp i got the fone calls saying "omg i didn't think things were so bad" etc and so on. ..

That's what happens when you don't take the time to visit or make a phone call and ask.


My mum might not have long left to go, but when she does go, I don't want to see everyone's tears who didn't bother when she was still here... Maybe now the people around us will take more notice. Maybe not.


I felt guilty filming her struggle. If she even gets a few more visits from some family and friends though it was worth it.






Either way, my conscience will be clear...

That was yesterday.

Today she got taken back into hospital because she had yet another seizure a few hours ago...

Sorry to hear that mate. I have first hand experience of dealing with an elderly mother. Not easy.

You only ever get one mum though, so one day you will look back and say "I'm glad I put the time in" :)

When I was 18 I worked at a big nursing home for almost a year. My heart goes out to you man. It's gotta be tough being the child of an Alzheimer's patient. Do you feel like you're on the outside of reality a bit? Like "who am I really if the ones I love forget me?"

Also, it's her caregivers job to make sure she eats. Eating is a struggle with some Alzheimer's patients. I had one who'd only let me feed her, and all she would eat is a bit of a chocolate bar then I'd walk her to the toilet, then I'd brush her hair and she'd look at me smiling. She had nobody and no will to live. All she wanted was chocolate and a little affection as she eased out. It seems like your mom's caregivers are easing her out I hope I'm wrong. If they're easing her out she'll be gone in the next 3 months max. They do this to patients who have little to no visitors over a long period of time.

Best wishes - that has got to be tough but as others say you will be glad you gave the time.

We try to get her to eat more but obviously can't force her. Chocolate however? Yeah she could eat that all day ha!

My dad is her carer at home and I pop in every day so she does have people there so the "easing out", nah. But yeah time does seem against us now...

That's awesome you're Dad is caring for her :thumbsup

Can I just tell you that losing weight & mobility quickly usually has to do with not getting enough movement and nutrients? This is all I'm going to say. These moments in life are so personal and so emotional that they are each their own uique way of being and have ups and downs and all arounds. All my best to you & your mum sending positive vibes your way ~ ~ ~

That's really sad ... Don't know what to say other than that.

I feel for you. My 87 year old father has the very start of dementia and no one other than me helps him. Massive stress for me as a result and it very negatively effecting every aspect of my life.

He was always a lousy bastard which make it harder to justify me putting my life on hold.

Man that is tough. Especially so young. My grandmother had that at the end of her life and it was pretty sad to watch a strong woman just so helpless.

Glad you are getting around to help your dad out. Gotta be tough on him.

Scott , I admire you

Do what is best for your mom even if you have no help like someone else said. You will be the one looking back knowing that you did everything.

Other people suck / Family / Etc.

Good luck man!

Stay strong, Scott.

I'm sorry to hear that. It's not easy to see a vital, strong youngish woman fading. I had a roommate in this nursing home who was nearly unable to recognize her family. Her niece would bring in photo albums and sometimes she'd recognize a family member. She barely ate even when fed. She walked to the bathroom, came out and saw my foot in bed. She grabbed my foot (excruciating pain from spinal neuropathy) and tried to pull me out of bed. She was then bedridden and used a wheelchair. Others act up and hurt others. My mom is 82 but has her mind. My grandmother had severe Alzheimer's . It was heart-breaking to watch her change.

Family members often can't deal with the change and rely on others to care. Your mom is lucky to have you and you show you care daily. You might consider a nursing home to spare your dad. She'd get excellent care and your dad would be able to live his later years with less stress.

I know it's hard as i've gone through this myself. You are a good son :thumbsup

Sorry about this man. We don't really chat but that must be hard as hell to be going through. It is a fear all of us have as well. When parents get older and need help or get sick :(

Stay strong

They do it using injections that are said to help something or other, but have very negative side effects for Alzheimer's patients. It's to nudge things along.

I can't remember what it was called, but I recall them giving my grandmother two of these injections and each time her mental ability took a serious hit. She was already in very bad shape, but after the injection she was like an infant. It wasn't long after the second injection that she lost the very primitive ability to eat or drink. I do not believe these were coincidences since the changes in behavior were very noticeable over a very short period of time after the injections.

Terrible way to watch your mom deteriorate like that :(

This made me very sad. Spend as much time with her bro, catch as many smiles from her as you can, that way, when sh'es no longer around, those smiles will still be in your mind.

stay strong! and take care of yourself!